Shocked! Villains from the Reader’s Perspective

These questions about villains came in at the end of July and the beginning of August:

First from JesseGee: I have a character in my book named Garrett. At the end of my story, he will betray his family and friends by trying to kill my main character for the queen, an evil woman who wants to annihilate his kind (which he knows) but needs his help to do it. I have put bits into my story that will help his betrayal in the end make more sense, but, purposely, I haven’t yet made it clear if he is working for the queen out of his own free will (which he is), and they’re small enough bits that my readers might not know exactly what he is doing, which I’d like to keep that way until the end. He has problems with drinking and other addictions, and can be very violent when he is drunk or angry.

At the same time though, my main character thinks that Garrett is his friend. Garrett happens to be very attractive, and can be quite charming when he wants or needs to be, and seems, to my main character, like a pretty good guy, but I’m not sure if my readers will think that way. How do I make him a likable character, likable enough that my readers will be upset when he turns traitor, even though he is truly, completely evil through and through?

Then Elisa commented along the same lines: I’m doing that too (Well, something similar anyways) so these comments will be helpful to me too! However, I do have my own methods. My story is divided into two parts, the first is told by the “good guy” And the second by the “Villain”, who is actually the good guy. So, the first bit is told in first person POV by the “good guy” who is really the bad guy, and I want the reader to think him a good person at first, and I want a slightly-more-than-mild surprise at the end of his narrative, but I don’t want them to be shocked nearly to the heart-attack stage. So I make him do subtly horrible things, like take pleasure in making people do things for him, or make them make mistakes. Or he likes punishing people and getting them into trouble, things that are more or less normal. He is rather arrogant, intensely sarcastic, very revengeful and he has a horrible temper; but seldom lets it get away with him. When I write him, I give him little evil thoughts, like how very much he would like to slap that crying child, and then his thoughts go from slap to knock over and then he’s on the verge of wanting to strangle her and then he is interrupted. Or he goes out of his way to kick a dog, or says something quite awful to a maid who tripped over her skirt and spilled a tray of ashes. Once the readers get to part two, they get a sort-of surprise, but they understand what’s going on.

And Emma wrote, So, in the book I’m writing, the MC’s boyfriend turns out to be an evil murderer. About halfway through the book the MC (and the readers, since it’s in first person) learn what he’s really like and during the second half of the book the MC is fighting him to stop him from killing a bunch of people. Up until he’s revealed as a murderer the MC is madly in love with him, and it’s a total shock when she finds out about him (he actually kills a girl who’s like a little sister to the MC, so she goes from loving him to hating him while still caring about him some). I want the readers to like him at first, obviously, but then they have to hate him because he takes over as the main villain. I’ve given him a sort of darker personality, but I’m not sure if it’s enough to hint at what happens later. Do you have any ideas?

These questions seem as much about what the reader knows as they are about villains. When JesseGee’s question came in, I wrote this: I’m not sure why the reader shouldn’t know Garrett is evil. If they know and your main character blissfully believes he’s good, the reader will be in a tizzy of worry for your MC, which is a good thing.

I still think that’s a fine way to go, but if we want Garrett to be likable, he needs to be good company or interesting or sympathetic and certainly not annoying, in my opinion. If at first the people he harms are ones the reader doesn’t care much about, he’ll probably be forgiven. Let’s imagine the queen gives a reception attended by Garrett and our MC, Ralph, who gets stuck talking to a third character, Petra, who is dishing nasty gossip about everybody at the reception. Kind Ralph longs to escape but can’t think of a polite way to do so. Garrett sweeps in to the rescue. He puts his arm around Petra’s shoulder and, while chatting with her and promising her some juicy secret, walks her outside the double entrance doors, says he’ll be right back, then closes and bars the doors, even though a blizzard is raging outside. He heads back to Ralph, on his way passing a message from the queen to one of her lackeys. When he returns to Ralph, they talk, and he encourages Ralph, who is shy, and makes him feel especially interesting. Then he introduces him to people he’s wanted to meet and generally makes sure that Ralph’s evening is a success. The next morning, Petra is found frozen to death, and the person Garrett has passed a message to has arrested the prime minister, whom the reader understands to be good but knows only distantly. The reader will be wary around Garrett after that, but probably won’t hate him. Hatred will come when Garrett turns on Ralph, if Ralph is beloved by the reader.

Elisa seems to have taken on something really hard: to write from the POV of a character who behaves badly and thinks terrible thoughts while persuading the reader that he’s the hero and even a little likable. If I were going to attempt it, I would probably give him some mitigating qualities. For example, maybe he’s an amazing artist and his work brings pleasure to many people, even though he gets really unpleasant when he’s interrupted. And maybe there’s someone he cares about, possibly not enough to give up his evil plans, but the caring is genuine.

Emma’s villain reminds me of someone I once knew and admired, a professor who turned out to be much less than admirable. He would say that he used to be friends with this person and that person but they had stopped liking him for some reason that bewildered him. When I realized his true nature, the reason became understandable, but at the beginning I sympathized with him and pitied him for being misunderstood. Emma can use something like this as a clue. Her MC’s boyfriend can have no friends of long standing, which may ring an alarm bell in the reader’s mind. A mutual acquaintance can hint to the MC that her boyfriend has behaved badly in the past. Jane Austen does something like this concerning Wickham in Pride and Prejudice. Emma’s MC can ask the villain about the hint and he can say something that subtly contradicts the past he’s already revealed to her. More alarm bells for the reader. He can be secretive. Their first argument can come about when he accuses her of prying. These intimations of future trouble are subtle, as they should be. Emma’s MC can shrug them off, but the reader will notice and remember.

I’ve mentioned this before: The best examples I’ve ever read of surprises about the true nature of certain characters are in The Foundation Trilogy by Isaac Asimov, which I would say is appropriate for middle school and up. A marvelous, exciting read that is full of astonishing revelations. We can all learn a lot from these books. Science fiction at its best.

Here are four prompts:

• Write a scene from the POV of a famous fictional villain, could be the queen in “Snow White,” an evil stepsister in “Cinderella,” Bluebeard, or Captain Hook. Make the villain, if not likable, a fleshed-out character, more than the collection of evil qualities.

• Write the backstory of one of these villains. Show the descent into villainy.

• Let’s zero in on one of the stepsisters in “Cinderella.” Write a sequel to Cinderella in which the stepsister starts out villainous and gradually becomes good. Show her progression.

• The evil magician in “Aladdin,” who poses as Aladdin’s uncle, initially seems good. Slow the fairy tale down and show his first meeting with Aladdin, his entry into Aladdin’s home, his interaction with Aladdin’s mother. Present him as good, with hints of something else under the surface. Make the reader uneasy.

Have fun, and save what you write!

28 Responses on “Shocked! Villains from the Reader’s Perspective”

  2. carpelibris says:

    Great topic! I've had that problem too. I have a MC that I love, but lots of people (especially agents) have said that they can't relate to him. It's tricky, because the whole book is about how he goes from being a ruthless savage to an honorable person. I tried to mitigate it by having him try to rescue his mother early on, but apparently it didn't help. (Maybe because his mother is even more vicious than he is!)

  3. Lindsay D. Roylance says:

    I think "Gone Girl" is one example of novel where the author succeeds in getting the reader to like a character who ends up showing their true (and evil) colors later on. Gillian Flynn is so good at this that I almost felt manipulated.

  6. Elisa says:

    Mrs. Levine, that was a wonderful post! I'd never though of letting them hurt unlikable characters to make them seem more good while being bad at the same time. That's a terrific idea. It makes a ton of sense too. Thank you!

  7. Natalie says:

    Thank you for this post! In my current novel, I am trying to create a villain that fools the main character and even herself but not the reader-and it's turning out to be really hard. I will be referring back to this post later on. One example of a surprising villain/antagonist that I can think of is Steerforth from David Copperfield. The reader is able to guess at his true character in the beginning, but he doesn't see what Steerforth is really like until later on. It's been a while since I've read that novel, but I remember thinking that his "villainy" was well-drawn.

  8. Michelle Dyck says:

    Great post! My WIP's villain is definitely not supposed to give the impression that he's good, and I want the readers to hate him, not like him — but his cronies sometimes try to do both. So this post has some good tips for making those cronies start off being nice and then turn around and betray the MCs. Thanks!

  9. Bug says:

    Oh! Mrs. Levine, I have a question for you.

    I've been rereading FAIREST (one of my very favorite books) and when I came to the part in the library, where she is singing a spell, I had to wonder…did you make those words have meanings? If so, would you mind sharing those meanings? If not, that's fine. 🙂 If they don't have meanings, did you just type random letters? Or did you just put together some that sounded cool?

  10. gailcarsonlevine says:

    Bug–I didn't type at random, because words repeat, but I don't know what they mean. It's hard to remember what I had in mind. I think I was going for the sounds. Of course, you know the essential meaning, the effect of the spell, which I won't reveal. 😉

  11. gailcarsonlevine says:

    This came into the website: I've been working on a book and even though I usually use first person, I decided to try third person/second person. However, my characters seem so dead. So dead even I didn't care about them. Do you know how I should fix this???
    Anna Baber

  12. gailcarsonlevine says:

    Oops again!

    Anna Baber answered: Someone told me that second person was a combo of third and first: told from one character's perspective and sharing their thoughts, but using "he" or "she" instead of "I." Is that correct? So I'm sharing several people's thoughts but not using "I."

    • gailcarsonlevine says:

      To clarify, you were misinformed about second person, which is written from a "you" perspective, as in, You wake up and remember it's your birthday. You stretch and smile in bed.

      Like that. In third person omniscient we can get into anyone's thoughts and feelings. In limited third person, we can write only one person's thoughts and feelings throughout the story, or we can shift perspective when we shift scenes.

      Does anyone have suggestions to help Anna Baber with her dead-characters problem?

  13. gailcarsonlevine says:

    Thank you so much! I had heard both, actually. I'd always thought it was "you" but someone then said, "Oh! It's actually this…"

    So my THIRD PERSON characters seem very dead. Does anyone have some thoughts?
    Anna Baber

  14. carpelibris says:

    A few offhand thoughts:

    Do they face challenges?
    Do they do things, as opposed to having things happen to them?

    Something I read once, although I can't remember where or who wrote it: "Think of what 9 out or 10 people would do in a given situation. Have your character be #10, who does something different.

    Random thought: Why do you usually write in 1st person, and what about this story made you choose to write it in 3rd?

    • gailcarsonlevine says:

      @carpelibris:

      Thanks a bunch! I think I was doing too much "to them." 🙂 And I loved the 9 out of 10! 😉 I'll keep that in mind as I'm going to write right now! 🙂

      I love reading first person and it's easy for character development. Aside from that, I've been writing for about four years and I've written around twenty "novels"–almost all in first person! So I'm much more comfortable in first person. What about you?

      Anna

    • carpelibris says:

      You're welcome! I have that problem a lot.

      I've tried both (even a short story in second once, but that felt weird.) I mostly default to third for novels For short stories (Runs off to do a quick check)
      Ok, I just did a rough, arbitrary count of my submissions in the last 6 months that weren't Drabbles. (100-word stories.) 3 were in 1st person and 6 were in 3rd. When I do 1st it's usually because the character comes into my head that way and their voice is a big part of the appeal, or the story's mostly about what the POV character's thinking and feeling.

      20 novels in 4 years? I'm impressed! My first (the only published one) took me 14 years to write, and the others took at least 2 years each.

    • Michelle Dyck says:

      I'm impressed too! I've been working on the same series for five years, and most of the work has gone into book one. It's still not done — undergoing the second or third major rewrite. 😛

  15. carpelibris says:

    It's an e-book called Between Worlds, and it's about these magical people called Cantrips. I think it's still available, although it doesn't look like the publisher's website's been updated for a while. (It's an old book.) They still have the blurb and illustration, though. There's a link on my Web page, if you click on my name. (Scroll way down.) If Gail doesn't mind and anybody wants it, I could post a more direct link too.

  16. gailcarsonlevine says:

    From Anna–

    @Carpelibris

    I put "novels" in quotations because some of them are only 5,000 words. 🙂 So technically they are not novels, but to me several years ago they were! :)And none of my "novels" are published yet. Maybe one day. 😉

    You have a published book?? That's so neat! What is the website?

    @Michelle Dyck

    Honestly, I have SO many story ideas flying through my head that I am often working on several stories at once. Once I was working on six at the same time. But I wouldn't exactly recommend that…and neither would Mrs. Levine as she states in Writing Magic. 🙂 I have a document several pages long just full of story ideas, snippets, and working titles. I sort of like revision, but I'd rather just plow through another story. 🙂 That's why I have a pile of books of which very few don't have glaring plot, character, or grammatical errors. 🙂 One series I'm working on (I'm writing the second book of one and the first of another), I didn't realize until I was a good way into the second how the personality of my main character needed some DRASTIC changes. 🙂 And so far, I haven't had the courage to go back and change that…:)

    Anna

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