On October 17, 2010, Jill wrote, I have just decided to go ahead and ask my complicated question that has been bugging me for a very long time now.
I am writing a story about revenge. This girl is getting revenge for her family. Her whole family was killed during a civil war in her kingdom (her family was in power, and she was the princess). Everyone except her brother was killed so she and her brother are working together for revenge, actually.
….How can I make the reader truly mourn for the girl’s family with her? I definitely want them killed off in the beginning. I have fallen in love with her family during all my planning and the fact is that I based them on my own loved ones (living and deceased), so I know I am mourning for them but how can I make sure the reader at least feels for the main character and doesn’t just think she is a drama queen who needs to get over the fact she isn’t in power anymore?
This is a specific question from a particular story, but there’s a more general question about making a reader feel sad about a fictional death.
I don’t know the ins and outs of this story, but let’s suppose the girl’s mother, father, grandparents, and two older sisters were killed, and let’s assume the girl (I’ll call her Octavia) was old enough when they were killed to have known them and to have a store of memories. We want to commemorate all the dead and make sure Octavia is sympathetic.
Suppose the girl’s birthday comes around, her first birthday without her family. Let’s say her present circumstances are bleak. She’s alone or with her brother, who is so unhappy he’s forgotten what day it is, and she remembers the last year’s celebration. This can be from her first-person POV, or it can be in third person. At the party the year before, her grandfather recited a poem for her, and she remembers the words and her grandfather’s rumbling voice as he said the words. A dish was served that she hated, and her grandmother helped her get away with not eating it. One older sister, who used to tease her about her wild hair, gave her silver barrette and spent an hour showing her how to roll her hair on top of her head.
The reminiscences don’t have to be all good. Octavia’s mother might have scolded her for not thanking someone properly for a gift. Now Octavia misses having someone who cares enough to scold, or she wishes she hadn’t snapped back at her mother. It torments her that their final words were sharp.
What I just suggested combines the qualities of the members of Octavia’s family and her perspective on them. If the mother had beaten Octavia with a belt or stopped talking to her for months at a time, Octavia might still grieve, but her feelings would be more complex. If Octavia were the selfish drama queen Jill is worrying about, her thoughts would all revolve around herself; she wouldn’t be capable of bringing the departed to life.
You can and probably should recall the beloved dead frequently. Doing so will keep them alive in the reader’s mind and will make Olympia more sympathetic too. There are lots of ways to pull this off. You don’t have to stage a birthday to make it happen. Olympia meets a possible ally and her sister’s voice in her mind sizes him up. She mentally debates a course of action and internally asks her father for guidance. In an argument with her brother she calls him by her mother’s pet name for him. Other people can remind her of her dead. She can see someone from a distance who has the same build as her grandfather and for a moment she thinks the killing didn’t happen. She can even think that the people she lost are so much with her that she’d like to get away from them occasionally. I don’t think that thought will make her unsympathetic.
Of course you don’t want to slow down an action scene with long memories. These are just touches, a little here, a little there.
If Octavia isn’t introspective or if she’s traumatized, the writer’s job is harder. Her feelings are suppressed. She may be sad without understanding why, or she’s always tired. When her birthday comes she may push aside the memories because a year has passed since the deaths and she thinks she should be over them. You may need a device to reveal the people you want her to mourn and the depth of her feelings. Make her find a box of letters that the reader can read. Or have someone else talk about the family. And think of other devices.
There may be after-effects of the killings that you can dramatize, ones that aren’t as personal. The country’s new rulers are despotic. The old queen, Octavia’s mother, wouldn’t have tolerated the corruption. The old king, Octavia’s father, strengthened the parliament, but the new king has dissolved it. Beggars’ Day, which Octavia’s grandmother initiated, is no longer observed, and the poor are rounded up and imprisoned.
Here are a couple of fanciful ideas:
• The dead can return as ghosts that only Octavia can see and hear or that everyone can. They’re not forgotten because they’re present. They can urge her on to revenge, as the ghost of Hamlet’s father does, or argue against it or disagree among themselves.
• This society can be ancestor worshipers. Octavia can light candles nightly at their shrines and pray to them.
Back to the worry about Octavia being a drama queen who’s sulking because she isn’t a princess anymore – this may be Octavia’s fear, that she isn’t really grieving for the people she loved, that she’s actually moping over a loss of status. If so, you can have her think this in writing, like, I missed being wealthy and having everyone notice when I entered a room and people talking if I wore my orange gown rather than my blue one. It was shameful to care about these things, and sometimes I wondered if I regretted the objects the war took away more than I regretted the people I lost. These thoughts don’t make her less sympathetic, in my opinion. Self-doubt is touchingly human, and the reader is likely to feel more for Octavia and know that of course she misses her family most.
A few prompts:
• Lon is haunted (literally) by ghosts of ancestors who died a century before in some terrible way. He is familiar with their story from family lore, but as far as he knows no other relatives have been visited by these people. Write a scene involving Lon and his ghosts. Make the ghosts come to life, so to speak, as individuals. If you like, go on to write a story about how Lon deals with them.
• Tina’s dad dies suddenly when she’s fourteen. They were very close, and she misses him intensely. Write a session between her and a grief counselor. Have Tina bring up some of her emotions that shame her, as well as more acceptable feelings.
• Sticking with Tina, a month later she and her mom move her father’s desk into her bedroom because his desk is bigger and better. Write about her first night with the desk in her room.
• Tina again. In the back of the top desk drawer she finds a big brown envelope. The contents – letters? newspaper clippings? a journal? – throw Tina back into turmoil. Write what was in the envelope and what happens next.
Have fun, and save what you write!
Alex Newman says:
Resonant and practical guidance, Gail. I think what stuck with me the most was your statement about the character recognizing potential failings.
"Self-doubt is touchingly human."
So true. I don't know why I constantly have this need to make my characters 100% condfident, even when they're wrong. Often, I write them as flawed, but they don't see it in themselves.
You've noted one potent element in a truly likeable/memorable character. My favorite characters – the Jo Marches, the Aragorns, the Anne Shirleys – are all deeply aware of their own failings.
Angie says:
I agree with Alex!
Ms. Levine, thank you for a wonderful reminder that the most endearing characters are ones who doubt themselves as part of their growth process. Not in a constantly (perhaps unrealistically)self-deprecating way, but in a purely human way. We all question our own motives and emotions from time to time (especially in grief-fraught circumstances)and the inclusion of that in the creation of a character is a lovely way for the reader to empathize and feel even more strongly for her or him.
I will definitely be taking this advice to heart in my own writing! I am in the middle of a first draft and have been feeling like my MC is a little static and single-layered. It's great to be reminded of simple ways I can give her more depth and try to give her a place among "the Jo Marches, the Aragorns, the Anne Shirleys" as Alex Newman mentioned above 🙂
Rose says:
One amazing post, Ms. Levine – thanks. I shall have to remember. In fact, I've often wondered about writing a character who's grieving for someone…I have led a pretty happy life, generally, so I worry about whether people who haven't will think I'm getting that kind of character wrong.
And Alex Newman, I also think that Aragorn in particular would be a much flatter character if not for that first chapter at the beginning of The Two Towers where he's running all over the place and questioning all his feelings and worrying he's doing everything wrong. A character who isn't always on top of things is much easier to relate to, and much more likely to make me sympathize than one who somehow knows everything for every situation.
Chicory says:
This is a wonderful and timely post, and I thank you for it. Dealing with death is a complicated thing, and so is writing about it.
When you suggested that Olivia could be worried that maybe she was upset about her lack of importance, it made me think of me. When my grandfather died, about five years ago, I spent a lot of time thinking about how much I wasn't thinking about him, and wondering if there was something wrong with me that I wasn't grieving more.
Grace says:
This was quite excellent.
I really need to work on my characters' inner dialogues especially when they're dealing with grief. I wrote a long chapter once where one of my characters was grieving over some people she had lost many years ago and grieving for the person she used to be that she had consequently lost because of thier deaths.
My critique partner then read the chapter and said "Um, Grace, this is an emo dump. Your character is just kind of wallowing in self-pity."
I then looked over the chapter and realized that half of it was unneccessary and pointless. I had created an "emo dump" (as my critique partner calls it) where my character vented her mourning and self-pity.
So needless to say the line between having the reader pity the character and having the reader annoyed with the character is a slim one. And needless to say it is a very slim like between having the character state their sadness and having the character wallow in self-pity, a line I need to work on broadening for myself. :s
This will also come in handy for revising a project I wrote where one of the characters died early on and my friend who read it commented about how she almost completely forgot he had ever been in it by the end…so that might mean I need to bring him up in my rewrite…heh heh…
But yes, all the Aragorn characters, I salute them. If anyone has ever read "The Singing" by Alison Croggon (called "The Gift" in the UK and elsewhere) Cadvan is quite an excellent character, he is sad but through his grief he is strong(but not without an inkling of self-doubt). Totally. Awesome.
Thanks for the post, Ms. Levine, I have a feeling it will come in handy….
Silver the Wanderer says:
Wow Mrs. Levine! This post has so much good advice in it! My story pretty much revolves around dead characters, and this gives me so many new ideas about how to remind the reader of them. It also got me thinking about my protagonist – he's an orphan. He wonders about his parents sometimes since he never knew them, but I wish he would do so more often. He wouldn't really be mourning them, since he never knew them, but your post also gave me some ideas of how to make him think of them more often. Thank you, thank you, thank you! 😀
Mya says:
I like this post! The prompts are useful, needed them to brush my writing up.=) You know, actually reading that passage where 'Octavia' thinks about her former lifestyle really put everything into perspective. And I've got to agree with Alex Newman, 'self-doubt is touchingly human'…one of the best writing advice quotes.=)
@Rose: I've actually got a bit of the opposite problem. My life hasn't been unhappy, but I've faced quite of few things which has made life harder than it should be for a 15 year old. So I wonder if I'm unconsciously making my characters too bitter and grieved.
I find the best thing is if you do write about a character in mourning or in a sad state, its best to ask someone who knows how it feels like to talk about their experiences. Or perhaps, go through books about 'the living dead'!=D
Lei says:
@Mya: I feel exactly the same way. I'm often told that as a result of the experiences I've faced as a 15 year old, I'm more mature than others my age. To me, it's not a good thing when it comes to writing, because I can't seem to write light, happy stories. Comparing some writing that I still have from when I was about 11 to my present writings, I tend to put too much difficulty into my characters' lives, because I'm trying to express in them the same pent-up feelings, confusion, etc. that I experienced. I guess I'll have to look for lighter stories to imitate in order to make my writing less depressing. 🙂
Erin Edwards says:
I loved this post! I got so much out of it, even though for the audience I have in mind I very purposefully have no dead characters (especially no dead mother!). But there are ways I can apply it to absent parents, etc. I'm going to go back and reread this post again.
@ Grace – I had a whole response written to you about the experience of conferences, but I erased it to get to the main points. 🙂 You are already getting one very important aspect of conferences at your writing group, connecting with other writers. You can supplement this by attending author appearances (book festivals are a great place to see many at once)and by attending summer writing programs. Because of the type of writing I am guessing you are interested in, you might keep your eye out for one that has published authors, rather than creative writing teachers, as instructors. I know Ms. Levine has mentioned teaching somewhere in the summer.
Grace says:
@ Erin Edwards. Thanks! I will definately be on the look out for those. Yeah I kind of know what to expect from the conference though I might be totally wrong about it since this is my first one. But still excited/nervous about it. But it's still three months away so I'll have plenty of time to prepare. 🙂
Alex Newman says:
@Rose – I completely agree. Like other heroes, he might have been in danger of Prince Charming Syndrome, but for that important dimension. Excellent observation.
Who would you all consider your favorite AND most flawed book hero/ine?
Jill says:
Thank you so much for posting this! I feel much better going on with my story. I tried to skip around writing the scenes where she is starting to take revenge and I have gotten pretty far. Now I am really excited to go back and write the scenes more focused on her grief now that I understand better how to go about doing it!
Erin Edwards says:
@ Alex – I've been trying to think of my favorite flawed hero/heroine but I'm not coming up with anything! Now I'm trying to analyze why this is so… I think that everyone has flaws, but it's hard to come up with a likable hero who has *big* flaws, maybe.
Let's see, there's Han Solo who starts out self-centered and annoyingly cocky (he thinks of it as self-confidence), but that's a movie.
Who did you have in mind, Alex?
Alex Newman says:
@Erin Edwards – It may be a movie, but Han Solo is an awesome example! Love him…
I think Sherlock Holmes is one of my more seriously flawed favorites. He's obssessive, isolatoes himself, occasionally self-destructive, yet I love him regardless…
But you're right, it takes work to make a character like that likeable…interesting…
Erin Edwards says:
Well, to continue with the analysis of Han Solo, here's some thoughts about why his character worked – besides him being good-looking! 🙂 (Hey, that might be important, too.)
He had some basis for his cockiness; he was good at what he did.
He had a loyal friend, pet? who loved him.
He was willing to take risks.
In the end he came through and did what was right against his natural inclination. I can't remember the details, but there might have been some hint that his character was capable of this when they were caught in the trash shoot, which would make him coming back in the end more believable.
Grace says:
Hmmm my favorite flawed heroes would be…
Dustfinger from the Inkheart series, he's not very trustworthy, and a coward but he comes through in the end and I love him!
Cadvan who I mentioned before, and Aragorn are another two.
And from Harry Potter- (though they aren't main characters) Sirius and Lupin.
Sirius- cocky, arrogant and impulsive, but oh-so-lovable
Lupin- shy, overly-cautious and afraid to stand up to his friends/concerned (sometimes overly) of others opinions but totally amazing at the same time.
And of course Harry's pretty cool himself. 😉
Howl from "Howl's Moving Castle"- probably the favorite of those listed, he's vain, self-centered, egotistical,lazy and messy but he is sooooo amazing at the same time 🙂
I could go on but I don't think I should…
Ahh fictional characters how they can be so flawed yet awesome. 🙂
Jenna Royal says:
Wow, thank you so much for this post, Ms. Levine . . . I think the material and ideas you posted here are enough for me to complete a plot I've been trying to create. Thank you so much. I love the different ideas you posed about Octavia mourning, hearing voices, worshiping ancestors, etc. They were awesome!
I also loved your line 'self-doubt is touchingly human'. How true that is! I've always loved incorporating self-doubt into my stories, perhaps partly because it's something we all have to face anyway, and it's a big fact of writing, and it's something that you can both relate to your character with and also add to the elements of your story.
Favorite flawed characters? Hmm, that's hard. I'd have to agree with Grace, Lupin and Sirius were awesome. And Dustfinger? I loved him, starting with the name . . . 🙂 I'm having a hard time coming up with more, it's hard to keep all your flawed characters straight! But I definitely have a soft spot for the flawed characters in a good book. In some ways, they're the most fun and the most touching.
Rose says:
Flawed characters? Hmm ah. I really do think Howl should be on this list. And while we're thinking about Diana Wynne Jones books, what about Mordion in HEXWOOD? (I wanted to cry at the end of that one.) And Peter Pan in the original by J. M. Barrie – he's self-centered and annoying but we readers like him anyhow.
Not to mention Lirael of the Abhorsen Trilogy by Garth Nix.
And Katniss. Can't forget Katniss Everdeen. If she isn't a flawed protagonist, who is? Yes, she's loyal and brave. But she's also headstrong and disobedient and impetuous and in the last book downright depressed.
Grace says:
@ Rose Ah I agree with Katniss! She's a great example! Strong yet so vulnerable at times,a great combination that makes her who she is!
Mya says:
@Alex- I couldn't help replying to that question! I reckon Heathcliff is by far the most flawed character, don't think I need to expound on the reasons there lol, but he's also so pitiful, running after Catherine's love and I can't help liking him through all his cruelty.=)
Rachel says:
Thanks Mrs. Levine! This is a really helpful post!
My favorite flawed character would have to be Bilbo Baggins—cowardly, homesick, and self pitying though he is, I can't help but love him!
aschenputte1 says:
I really liked the idea of Octavia constantly remembering her family and having conversations with them in her mind. Constantly remembering them and describing them, not only builds a sympathetic character but have the reader gradually like her dead relatives, maybe even love them and mourn for them also. The ghosts coming to talk to her is a good device as well. It will also be an interesting idea for one of them to try and bring back to life from other means like Orpheus did. And what would happen if it works? And they all live happily ever after as a result? I don't think there's even been a happy ending when someone brings a dead person back to life. It will certainly be unique.
I'm wondering what you do before you write, Ms. Levine. Do you tend to have an idea before-hand? Most of the time, I have no idea what I'm going to write. I just feel that I have to write. So I sit down and write a few pages and am amazed at all the things that I have written. Is it the same for you? Or do you spend some time daydreaming a scene or character, and then write them down?
F says:
Oh, I loved the name Octavia when I saw it in the blog post, since I've just finished the Hunger Games. I agree, Katniss is by far the best flawed character I've had the pleasure of reading about.
Also, what was Peeta's flaw? In the middle of Book 2, I got a sinking feeling he might be a *coughcoughgarystucoughcough* Rectified in Book 3 due to the circumstances, but still.
Anybody who hasn't read The Hunger Games – READ IT! (Warning of extreme violence)
Rose says:
I second F's book recc. However I must warn that people with little sisters (real or "honorary") ought to proceed with caution into those books.
Hmm, there's a question. How much heartache and violence is "too much," anyhow? I'd be interested in hearing opinions of how writers work with keeping things balanced.
F, I didn't think Peeta was a Gary Stu at all. He had…hard times. And he suffered, and did stupid things, and tried to do stupid things. But now I look back on those books and see how he's really an incredible fellow.
POSSIBLE SPOILERS
I wouldn't call him precisely an "incurable optimist," but maybe, what, an incurable rebounder? Because no matter what happens, eventually he makes up his mind to be…joyful. Observe the SPOILER primrose bushes he plants at the end…
Chicory says:
Hmmm… I haven't read The Hunger Games yet, but I keep hearing about them. I'll have to read them. 🙂
One of my favorite flawed characters is Inigo Montoya from `The Princess Bride.' He's obsessed with revenge, and he gets drunk a lot, but he's intensely loyal, he's very smart (he figured out that Westly is the only person who can help him get revenge AND works out exactly where he's being held prisoner all in less than a day). And he's the world's greatest swordsman, which is just cool.
Mya says:
Hmm, all these comments about the Hunger Games, I have got to read that book.=)
Speaking of lead female flawed characters then, I reckon Elizabeth Bennet is the most wonderful and amazing flawed character from my favourites.=D She starts out a little vain perhaps, and opinionated at the beginning but her wit and vibrance makes her so wonderful, and we see her develop through the rest of Pride and Prejudice.=) Mr Darcy himself I suppose, is quite flawed himself, but his are pointed out so precisely, I suppose there is no need to go further on that.
@Chicory: I always thought of Inigo as more of a humourous character than flawed, but what you've pointed out is true.=)
aschenputte1 says:
My favorite character is definitely Howl, from Howl's Moving Castle. He is a bundle of faults like someone already mentioned, but he is. . . just fun. He's the type of character that can always keep me laughing and always has a surprise up his sleeve.
I don't really know what to feel about Katniss. To be honest, when I think about it, she seems a well-rounded character. But I feel like Katniss. . . is a stock narrator.
A stock narrator in stories usually have personalities that seem to melt in the background and the readers then pretend their them. Such narrator don't have strong, unique personalities, just sort of ordinary. . . It's not technically a bad thing. In stories with complicated plots and surreal magical worlds it can a be a sort of anchor, something familiar in the sea of strangeness. But either way, Katniss doesn't strike me as being a very unique character. . . and Harry Potter not much either. . .or even Bella Swan. I think its more the idea of what they represent, that ordinary children from humble beginnings can be a hero, and they in turn are used more for readers to connect to the story then show a unique, lovable character.
There are few stories where the narrator is actually is someone, and not just a mask for the reader to project into the story. I tend to love the supporting characters more often as a result.
Has anyone else noticed the stock narrator syndrome? Or is it just me? Or is it an actual concious effort of every writer to make such a narrator/main character?
April says:
Because of book recommendations given by commenters on this blog in the past, I bought myself Princess of the Midnight Ball by Jessica Day George (personal opinion: 3.5 stars), Beastly by Alex Finn (4 stars), and My Fair Godmother by Janette Rallison (5 stars).
Thanks for the recs! I guess I'll look into the Hunter Games now.
Also, for anyone who is talking about Howl based on the animated movie, you really need to read the book (by Diana Wynne Jones). You can see where the animated movie got its ideas from the book, but they're pretty different (and I like the book better, even having read it after seeing the movie first).
April says:
*Hunger Games (oops)
Erin Edwards says:
After thinking more about these flawed characters I now have insight into a character in my book that I was afraid wasn't interesting enough – two improvements for my manuscript from one post! Thanks for adding the question, Alex. 🙂
Alex Newman says:
EVERYONE (I hate to be general, but have to be in this case): Absolutely fantastic characters all. It warmed my heart just reading through the characters in the comments. Such great insight.
And @Erin Edwards: So welcome. I got so much out of the responses, too. Good stuff.
Brianna says:
I know that this post is old, but I had to add on: I love all of the character's in Wendy Mass's books (the ones set in Willow Falls). Also, Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus/Kane Chronicles are great when you are looking for flawed characters. I love that he makes the characters, when it is their own POV, TOTALLY doubt themselves. They see themselves worse than the other characters, and the other characters rely/think this when it is their POV. He (Rick Riordan) is a master!
Also, can't forget the literary classics… Anne Shirley. You just HAVE to love Anne, and HAVE to hate Gilbert, even though Anne has probably done more things wrong in a day than Gil has in a lifetime… I love Anne.
🙂 Thanks Gail for a great post. I'll be sure to use this. Also it might be helpful, if, say, you were writing a story on how, maybe, the family got kidnapped. Your MC might go on a quest to save them, but with all the excitement/drama/adventure on the quest, it's easy to put the family in danger on the back burner, so to speak. This post may help in keeping their dire situation at hand. 🙂
ExtremeHairFlipping says:
I did the Lon prompt and really enjoyed it as the Supernatural is outside of my comfort zone. Thank you for the great prompt!
flowerprincess says:
This is very helpful because I was struggling with the same problems with my own characters. The prompts are also very interesting and fun to do. Thank you for the wide range of topics, they really help!