{"id":890,"date":"2017-09-13T11:48:49","date_gmt":"2017-09-13T15:48:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/?p=890"},"modified":"2017-09-13T11:48:49","modified_gmt":"2017-09-13T15:48:49","slug":"eek-stabbing-the-raised-stake","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/2017\/09\/13\/eek-stabbing-the-raised-stake\/","title":{"rendered":"Eek! Stabbing the Raised Stake"},"content":{"rendered":"

On August 3, 2017, Christie V Powell wrote, I have a problem spot here. The book I\u2019m working on concerns the relationship between my main character Keita and her twin brother\u2019s fianc\u00e9. My beta-reader suggested a wedding scene right before the climax to heighten the stakes when the couple is in danger. I like the idea but I don\u2019t want to add more than a few hundred words to this chapter. So, any tips on cramming something as culturally significant as a wedding into a few paragraphs? Or should I skip it? So far I have this build up:<\/em><\/p>\n

Zuri tried to look serious but she was bouncing on the balls of her feet. \u201cIt\u2019s been a year since we were betrothed,\u201d she said, \u201cand without your parents here, you\u2019re the head of the family\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou want to marry now?\u201d Keita demanded. \u201cYour people do all sorts of fancy stuff you couldn\u2019t do here.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI know.\u201d Zuri sighed. \u201cBut Glen said we can have more elaborate celebrations at the next festival.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou just have to give permission,\u201d Glen said, \u201cand\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cJust give permission,\u201d Keita repeated scornfully. \u201cIf I\u2019m in charge, we do all the old traditions\u2026 the one where you\u2019re chained together until the next festival\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Zuri paled. \u201cThree weeks?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you can\u2019t keep your bride unless you defend her from all the cousins carrying arrows\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Glen said.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThen the kidnapping\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cKeita, come on. We\u2019re at war, remember?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cIn that case, I say no.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

She let them squirm almost a minute before she said, \u201cYou\u2019ve forgotten one thing. I\u2019m not an adult yet. You\u2019d have to ask Aunt Laurel.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Keita tried to smother her laughter but it burst out anyway. Both gave her dirty looks before they fled the courtyard.<\/em><\/p>\n

A back-and-forth followed:<\/p>\n

Melissa Mead: A wedding right before the climax sounds like drama on top of drama, with no time to let the first one sink in. If the wedding\u2019s important, maybe have all-out fun describing it in the previous chapter, then have the newlyweds enjoying some quiet domestic bliss when BANG! Danger happens. Unless the wedding scene is just a quiet happy interlude, with no great drama? Then the climax WOULD be a contrast.<\/em>
\nAnd if they\u2019re newlyweds and get separated to who-knows-what fate, ouch!<\/em><\/p>\n

OTOH (just brainstorming here) maybe if they\u2019re NOT married before the climax, and they\u2019ve been planning it for weeks or months, and then they\u2019re in danger, we\u2019ll have an extra reason to root for them to survive and have their wedding. What kind of danger are we talking about?<\/em><\/p>\n

Have you read Jane Yolen\u2019s The Devil\u2019s Arithmetic? That\u2019s got a wedding contrast to break your heart.<\/em><\/p>\n

Christie V Powell: I have read it, but it was years ago and the details get fuzzy.<\/em><\/p>\n

I think this chapter is going to start with the wedding and end with a battle in which Keita and Zuri are captured. I\u2019m just not sure how much of the wedding will occur before the battle begins\u2026 or if there\u2019s a small \u2018bliss\u2019 scene in between. I don\u2019t want it to be too melodramatic or cliche (I just showed the kids ‘Fiddler on the Roof\u2019 and thought about ‘Harry Potter 7’: both weddings get interrupted toward the end). Glen and Zuri have been romantic through the book and Keita finds it disgusting\/annoying the whole time.<\/em><\/p>\n

April: It\u2019s kind of difficult to give advice without more context. But basically you need to make Keita and Zuri have a rocky relationship, right? So give lots of little opportunities to have them cut at each other, with increasing intensity. So here, Keita threatened Zuri (and Glen) with a dangerous wedding, but then revealed the joke so as not to seem mean (but still clearly passive aggressive). You need more passive aggressiveness from Zuri to Keita, and from Keita to Zuri. The characters need to go from \u201cis she just teasing me?\u201d to \u201coh, no, she didn\u2019t\u201d and retaliation.<\/em><\/p>\n

Off topic, but why the names Keita, Zuri, and Glen? Glen seems very Caucasian, whereas Keita is a Japanese masculine name (in fact, when I read these excerpts from your story posted here and there, I have trouble remembering that your MC is female, not male).<\/em><\/p>\n

Christie V Powell: Thanks for the tip. The girls were good friends and they still want to be, so this divider is really hard for both of them. I\u2019ll see where I can add more conflict between the two. Thanks.<\/em><\/p>\n

I was going for name meanings over origin. When I first chose the name Keita, the baby-name website I preferred listed it as a female Sanskrit name meaning forest. That was years and years ago and the site has changed, but the name stuck. Glen is also a forest term. Zuri is short for Azura, because she\u2019s from a different kingdom with water abilities.<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: I\u2019m adding this question to my list\u2013mostly in terms of stakes-raising, which is super important!\u00a0In the meanwhile, though, I\u2019m not sure chapter length is the most important factor in making a plot decision.<\/em><\/p>\n

Christie V Powell: Thanks. I don\u2019t usually base things on length, but I\u2019m in the final stages and have already designed the cover (including spine width).<\/em><\/p>\n

I was working on this scene today and I think I\u2019ve got it where I want it. I had to move a couple scenes around that I hadn\u2019t planned on, but it\u2019s smoother. The women are still preparing for the wedding when the attack begins.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m glad the problem got resolved and the resolution came for plot reasons not chapter or book length or other mechanical considerations. For any of us who think about this mechanical stuff, length shouldn\u2019t be determined, for example, by word count for a particular genre or age range. A story needs to be as long as it needs to be in order to be told, no longer or shorter.<\/p>\n

Having said that, a chapter book for a seven-year old who isn\u2019t a genius can\u2019t reasonably be 200 pages long. But achieving a proper length will come organically from considering the kind of story that\u2019s in synch with the level of sophistication of a child at that age. We\u2019re probably not going to have so many plot twists that the result is a long book. We\u2019re also going to read other books for that age group to prime ourselves for getting it right.<\/p>\n

And I\u2019m in favor of as few words as we need. My manuscripts always shrink in revision as the verys<\/em>, the reallys<\/em>, the almosts<\/em> get the boot. Do you guys know The Elements of Style<\/em>, AKA Strunk and White<\/em>? It\u2019s a gem of concision. I just copied this snippet of a Boston Globe review: “No book in shorter space, with fewer words, will help any writer more than this persistent little volume.”<\/p>\n

Hah! The review is backwards! I\u2019d say, No book in more<\/em> space, with more<\/em> words, will help any writer as much as this persistent little volume.” It\u2019s a 105-page style-and-usage book that came out in its present form in 1959, and its Amazon sales ranking, as students set off for college, is 38! I hope I\u2019ve internalized most of its precepts. I used to read its sentences out loud for the pleasure of their economy and elegance.<\/p>\n

Onto the crux of Christie V Powell\u2019s question. I love raising stakes!<\/p>\n

I applaud Christie V Powell\u2019s decision to bring on the attack before the wedding. We can hike the tension just as much before as after, but the former gets us there quicker.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d even argue that stakes are intrinsically higher before the wedding\u2013before fulfillment rather than after. I think this goes for any uncompleted versus completed goal. Suppose our MC Sami is the first in her family to attend college. She\u2019s doing well in her senior year, completing a double major in international finance and Chinese. Do we want disaster to strike just before graduation or just after?<\/p>\n

I say just before. As she\u2019s in the middle of the crisis she thinks, I was so close. Almost made it. I find that more poignant and wrenching than her thought, At least I got my degree\u2013though both activate the worry part of my brain. But with the first, she has more to lose as she makes choices in the story climax.<\/p>\n

In general, how do we raise the stakes?<\/p>\n

1. The reader has to care about our characters. In the excerpt Christie V Powell shared, I find it endearing that Zuri bounces on the balls of her feet, which is such an exuberant, young person\u2019s gesture. As a reader, I don\u2019t want anything to destroy that enthusiasm.<\/p>\n

And the affection these characters feel for each other is appealing and helps them be likable. I don\u2019t want their connection broken by separation or (gasp!) death.<\/p>\n

2. We can strengthen a connection between our characters with thoughts, which will also raise the stakes. Going back to Sami, we can have her call her dad to tell him that she may not graduate. She can notice how grumpy he sounds when he says hello and how that changes as soon as he hears her voice. She thinks about how revealing his voice is and dreads hearing it change again when she delivers her news. As he speaks, or before she dials, she can think of the treasured box in which he keeps mementos of her academic achievements: report cards, A+ papers, debate team trophies, graduation photos. The reader can\u2019t help loving them both\u2013even before the conversation starts.<\/p>\n

3. When it does start, dialogue can up the ante. Sami can start the conversation ominously by asking her dad if he\u2019s been taking his heart meds. Oy! She cares about him so much that\u2019s the first thing she asks, rather than launching into her problems! Oy! He\u2019s fragile. He can reassure her that he never misses a pill, and besides doctors always try to scare patients. He feels fine. She isn\u2019t to worry. Then he says, \u201cWhat\u2019s the good news?\u201d A dagger enters the reader\u2019s heart.<\/p>\n

4. Sami can react physically to her father\u2019s question. Her toes curl. Her fingers clutching her cell phone turn a lighter color. Her stomach seems to turn over. The reader\u2019s stomach clenches, too.<\/p>\n

5. As she speaks, Sami looks around her dorm room at the school pennant, the posters she brought from home, the throw blanket that her grandmother crocheted\u2013this beloved setting.<\/p>\n

6. We ratchet up the threat level as our story progresses. At the beginning, we establish the conflict, whatever it is. Maybe there\u2019s a scene in which the problem appears. Let\u2019s say Sami\u2019s best friend catches her in a little lie, nothing consequential; the lie doesn\u2019t spare anyone\u2019s feelings or get Sami herself out of any difficulty, but it does give her credit in a situation that she doesn\u2019t entirely deserve. Her friend just says, \u201cI wish you wouldn\u2019t do that,\u201d and the story moves on. However, the reader notices. As the plot progresses, the lies pile up. The reader loves Sami for all her great qualities and her humanity and becomes more and more worried about the web she\u2019s tangling herself up in.<\/p>\n

To take off from Christie V Powell\u2019s story, the reader finds out about the enemy early in the story, while peace talks are going on. There is an enemy, but it\u2019s likely to work out. Then the peace talks dissolve, but the enemy is disorganized. However, gradually, the threat looms more and more.<\/p>\n

7. Details bring it all together. The noise of the wedding prep covers the enemy\u2019s approach. Pots clatter. Drummers practice their rhythms. Children shout and babies wail. Glen receives a gift that means a lot to him and distracts him from his usual vigilance. Keita says something she shouldn\u2019t to Zuri, and a chasm opens between the two. Just then, the dogs start barking in alarm.<\/p>\n

Finally, and this has nothing to do with stakes-raising, I enjoyed the humor in Christie V Powell\u2019s excerpt, especially the bizarre wedding rituals!<\/p>\n

Here are three prompts, though you can spin prompts from lots of the situations above:<\/p>\n

\u2219 Write the conversation between Sami and her dad. Break the reader\u2019s heart.<\/p>\n

\u2219 Write the scene that sets the stage for her being denied graduation. You can use my idea that a lie she\u2019s told is behind it, or any other reason.<\/p>\n

\u2219 Write the scene when Snow White\u2019s evil stepmother is told for the last time by the magic mirror that she\u2019s the fairest in the land. Foreshadow that trouble is on the way.<\/p>\n

Have fun, and save what you write!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On August 3, 2017, Christie V Powell wrote, I have a problem spot here. The book I\u2019m working on concerns the relationship between my main character Keita and her twin brother\u2019s fianc\u00e9. My beta-reader suggested a wedding scene right before the climax to heighten the stakes when the couple is in danger. I like the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[235],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/890"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=890"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/890\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":891,"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/890\/revisions\/891"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=890"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=890"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=890"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}