{"id":807,"date":"2017-01-04T09:35:18","date_gmt":"2017-01-04T14:35:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/?p=807"},"modified":"2017-01-04T09:35:18","modified_gmt":"2017-01-04T14:35:18","slug":"showing-whos-on-first","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/2017\/01\/04\/showing-whos-on-first\/","title":{"rendered":"Showing Who\u2019s On First"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Sad to say, my comment moderating continues. The spammers may be bots, because they don&#8217;t seem to realize\u00a0that their comments aren\u2019t being published. As soon as the flow slows to a trickle, I\u2019ll return the blog to normal. In the meanwhile, I\u2019ll approve your posts as quickly as I can&#8211;and so sorry when there\u2019s delay!<\/p>\n<p>Way back in 2016, on August 7, Christie V Powell wrote, <em>How do you show instead of tell in first person? I find it easy in third\u2013in fact, sometimes I have to go back and add a telling sentence here or there. But whenever I try to write in first person and get into the character\u2019s voice, they just seem to want to tell for pages and pages and never get into showing the story.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Emma replied, <em>I agree that showing in first person is difficult. Here\u2019s an example:<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Telling: I took the sword in hand.<\/em><br \/>\n<em>Showing: I slid my hand onto the grip of my blade, clenching my fist around it. I could feel my knuckles going white around the cold metal.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I, personally, don\u2019t think telling in first person should be done all the time, because it makes a character sound a bit unrealistic or look like his thinking is very dramatic. The reason it may seem difficult to show in first person is because it sounds the most plausible and realistic for a character in first person to just tell what they\u2019re doing. In third person, it sounds more plausible to show because it\u2019s like the narrator is describing what\u2019s going on. In first person, the narrator is the one doing the action, and therefore doesn\u2019t have to describe what\u2019s being done\u2013 he just does it. Does that make sense? So that\u2019s my version of why it\u2019s harder to show in first person. I\u2019ve found that spending an hour of my afternoon describing to myself what I\u2019m doing (i.e. I carefully selected the orange marker from the glass jar to my left. I combed the strand of hair out of my face, using the mirroring surface of the jar to see my reflection.) has been a good exercise to do to get both the showing and the first person juices flowing.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Great suggestion!<\/p>\n<p>Before I start, if you don\u2019t recognize the reference in this post\u2019s title, it comes from an Abbot and Costello routine, which you can google with \u201cWho\u2019s on First skit.\u201d It\u2019s very funny.<\/p>\n<p>I think of my first-person narrator as the every-person of my tale. She\u2019s the reader\u2019s window into my story: the action, setting, other characters, dialogue. Yes, she has a personality and a perspective, which the reader learns through her thoughts and feelings, but she reveals what\u2019s going forward fairly. She\u2019s a lot like a third-person narrator.<\/p>\n<p>So one strategy might be to write a scene in third person and then translate it into first, making as few changes as we can. Then we can ask ourselves if we\u2019ve put in enough of the inner life of our MC, especially her thoughts, feelings, physical responses\u2013like cold hands and\u00a0a scratchy throat, which, by the way, are showing. We can add those in, and, voila!, we have a believable first-person narration.<\/p>\n<p>Naturally, the two POVs will feel different as we write them, and we\u2019ll inevitably (and correctly) make some different choices as we write.<\/p>\n<p>After doing this for a few scenes, we\u2019ll likely have the knack and can start writing directly in first-person. But if the technique comes slowly, making the change isn\u2019t that time-consuming. More than once, I\u2019ve had person problems and have had to make this switch for an entire manuscript\u2013300-plus pages. Doesn&#8217;t take\u00a0<em>that<\/em> long, and when the task is over, the pain fades.<\/p>\n<p>Our first-person MC may trap us into over explaining. (Of course, we\u2019ve let her.) She may push us to tell the reader the lead-up to everything. If, for example, her friend Sam behaves badly at a party, she may justify his actions with a digression of telling in which she goes into his past and her reasons for putting up with him. If we start in third person, we may not even be tempted. If we start in first, we can cut the digression when we revise. His bad behavior can just be what it is. If there\u2019s a plot reason for going into its backstory, we can work that in at an appropriate story moment. By then, with luck, our showing has told part of the story, and the reader has already seen why his friendship is worth it.<\/p>\n<p>Some writers take on an unreliable narrator. If we do this, at some point we have to clue the reader in that all isn\u2019t as it seems. In this case, the telling and the showing are very controlled, and in a way the reader becomes part of the story, teasing out truth and falsehood. The only times I\u2019ve done this were\u00a0at a couple of points in <em>The Two Princesses of Bamarre<\/em>, when Addie herself is confused. She becomes unreliable because she doesn\u2019t know exactly what\u2019s going on.<\/p>\n<p>If I have a reason to, I\u2019d like to write an unreliable narrator someday, but I expect it will be tricky. In a way, with an unreliable narrator, it\u2019s all telling, because she\u2019s selective about her revelations.<\/p>\n<p>I also haven\u2019t written a first-person narrator with a quirky voice. In my two mysteries, my MC Elodie often says and thinks her favorite exclamation\u2013lambs and calves!\u2013but beyond that, her voice is neutral. I don\u2019t mean that a quirky voice can\u2019t be fabulous. I admire writers who can pull it off, I\u2019m just saying that it can get in the way when we want our story to simply unfold, when we want, mostly, to show. So there&#8217;s another strategy: keep our\u00a0first-person voice straightforward and unembellished.<\/p>\n<p>Another first-person problem that can get in the way of showing is that our POV character may have an opinion about everything and want to share it. A royal wedding is announced, she starts opining about marriage, and the action grinds to nothing. We can let her rip and then trim when we revise.<\/p>\n<p>As an aid to showing, we can remind ourselves\u00a0that she\u2019s in the scene that\u2019s unfolding\u00a0and doesn\u2019t know what\u2019s going to happen. We can simply record step-by-step what occurs as it happens, just as a third-person narrator does.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, if third-person is more comfortable, it\u2019s an honorable choice. We can use limited (as opposed to omniscient) third person interchangeably with first. We won\u2019t have failed.<\/p>\n<p>Here are three prompts:<\/p>\n<p>\u2219 Take this from the beginning of Pride and Prejudice and rewrite it in first person:<\/p>\n<p><em>It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em> However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em> &#8220;My dear Mr. Bennet,&#8221; said his lady to him one day, &#8220;have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em> Mr. Bennet replied that he had not.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em> &#8220;But it is,&#8221; returned she; &#8220;for Mrs. Long has just been here, and she told me all about it.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em> Mr. Bennet made no answer.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em> &#8220;Do not you want to know who has taken it?&#8221; cried his wife impatiently.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em> &#8220;You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em> This was invitation enough.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u2219 Our MC is going nuts. Pick a setting for the descent into madness. Write it entirely in third person, without any of his thoughts and feelings, but show what\u2019s happening anyway.<\/p>\n<p>\u2219 Rewrite the insanity scene in first person.<\/p>\n<p>Have fun, and save what you write!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sad to say, my comment moderating continues. The spammers may be bots, because they don&#8217;t seem to realize\u00a0that their comments aren\u2019t being published. As soon as the flow slows to a trickle, I\u2019ll return the blog to normal. In the meanwhile, I\u2019ll approve your posts as quickly as I can&#8211;and so sorry when there\u2019s delay! [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[48,70,51],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/807"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=807"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/807\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":808,"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/807\/revisions\/808"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=807"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=807"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=807"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}