On May 20, 2011, Jill wrote, ….Is it possible to say a name too many times? One of my biggest pet peeves is when writers use the same word too many times, so I am really conscientious about it when I am writing. I was just now writing and realized I was using one of the character’s names a lot to avoid using the pronoun too many times. How can I avoid this?<\/i><\/p>\n
Then bluekiwii wrote, @ Jill
\n I read somewhere that words such as “she”, “he”, or “I” tend to be invisible–which means that when readers read them they don’t tend to notice them. I normally use names when using the pronouns would be too confusing (like when two women are having a conversation). Does this help? It had never occurred to me that saying a name too many times would be annoying to read, but, on reflection, I agree. It will also be a useful device to use on a specific character to make him appear obnoxious.<\/i><\/p>\n
And Jenna Royal wrote, I definitely have a problem with using he<\/u>, she<\/u> and it<\/u>. I know they become invisible to the reader, but as the writer they really bother me. I find myself inserting the words “the girl” or “the boy” or “the woman” a lot, which I don’t really like either. It’s not the right voice for my stories, and it’s kind of jarring. I guess I will just have to get brave and use the pronouns. \ud83d\ude42<\/i><\/p>\n
I googled but couldn\u2019t find anything I could quote about the invisibility of pronouns. I did find a blog post in which the author opined that good writing is invisible, that the reader should be so lost in a story that the words disappear, which I half agree with and half don\u2019t. When the writing is stunning I am sometimes aware of it even if I\u2019m engrossed in the action.<\/p>\n
By stunning I don\u2019t mean the author is using exalted language. The words may be everyday, but they\u2019re perfect in the moment. A character says something simple but surprising, exactly what she would say. A detail is revealed in a character\u2019s bedroom, and it\u2019s the right detail. There are many, but a few young adult and children\u2019s book writers who jump to mind for great writing are Sharon Creech, Laurie Halse Anderson, Kimberly Willis Holt, and of course my friend Joan Abelove.<\/p>\n
If I reread a book, when I\u2019m no longer so worried about what\u2019s going to happen next, then I\u2019m likely to notice the writing.<\/p>\n
I also notice when the writing is annoying, and annoying sometimes means confusing, which can happen in a scene when I don\u2019t know which character a pronoun represents.<\/p>\n
Referring to characters often feels awkward to me, too. When I have a character who has a title and a name, I vary their use, referring to him sometimes by name, sometimes by title, and, when it\u2019s clear, by pronoun. In A Tale of Two Castles<\/i> the ogre\u2019s name is Count Jonty Um. I refer to him by turns as he<\/i>, the count<\/i>, His Lordship<\/i>, and, at the beginning of the novel when I want to establish firmly what he is in the reader\u2019s mind, the ogre<\/i>. Often doing this feels mechanical, and I don\u2019t know whether or not it reads smoothly. But I don\u2019t like the alternative of sticking to just the name and pronoun. I guess I agree that a name can be overused.<\/p>\n
And, as I think about it, I do believe the pronoun disappears, which may make it the best choice as long as you\u2019re sure the reader will understand who is meant and isn\u2019t going to forget the character\u2019s name.<\/p>\n
The charm of writing scenes with the dragon Meenore is that IT keeps ITs gender secret, so it\u2019s an IT<\/i>. Ordinarily in scenes involving three characters there have to be two of one sex, but if Meenore is among them and there\u2019s a male and a female, no problem! I capitalize IT<\/i> because, while there\u2019s no danger of mixing IT up with another character, a small i t<\/i> IT can be confused with a chair or a rock!<\/p>\n
First person has a similar effect. The narrator is I, and so you can include a male and female character in a scene without activating the pronoun problem. With Elodie as I<\/i> and Masteress Meenore as IT<\/i>, I can crowd in two more characters and be home free.<\/p>\n
Of course, we don\u2019t structure our scenes around pronouns. When a scene calls for two or more same-sex characters, we write it with clarity and name repetition as needed. Story needs trump pronoun considerations.<\/p>\n
I question using “the woman,” “the man,” which Jenna Royal wondered about. I think those expressions may distance the reader from the story. Naturally you can do it if distancing is the effect you\u2019re going for, which is valid. But if you\u2019re not, and you want the reader fully engaged, I say repetition of name or pronoun is the lesser evil.<\/p>\n
What I really dislike, especially in a story for kids, is when a writer alternates the name and the pronoun with “the little girl\u201d or \u201cthe little boy.\u201d The reader, presumably, is a little boy or girl, and the description seems condescending as well as distancing. In my opinion, the writer of a children\u2019s book should be inhabiting a child\u2019s point of view and those terms make me doubt that\u2019s happening.<\/p>\n
Pity the poor Finns, who have no masculine or feminine pronouns! Everyone is it<\/i>. I spoke to a person at a Finnish publisher who told me that translators from other languages do resort to \u201cthe man\u201d or \u201cthe woman\u201d for clarity. And I don\u2019t know what happens in languages where objects have gender. La plume<\/i> (the pen) is female in French, and the pronoun is elle<\/i>, same as for a woman. Oy!<\/p>\n
In dialogue, it\u2019s nice when you can eliminate the need for names or pronouns entirely here and there. I discuss this a little on the blog and even more in Writing Magic<\/i>. If the reader knows who\u2019s speaking, no identification is needed. In A Tale of Two Castles<\/i>, for example, the princess says La!<\/i> a lot, and she\u2019s the only one who does it. Another character characteristically says By thunder<\/i>, and he\u2019s the only one who does it. When the reader sees La!<\/i> he knows the speaker is Princess Renn, and when he sees By thunder<\/i>, he knows it\u2019s the cook, Jak. In the Disney Fairies<\/i> books the character Rani finishes people\u2019s sentences for them. When the reader sees this, he knows the speaker is Rani. Of course, you can overdo this. If Jak said By thunder<\/i> every time he spoke, the reader soon would wish lightning would strike him.<\/p>\n
Melissa asked what I\u2019ve been doing at my summer workshop, and I\u2019ll answer in a future post, but the first of these prompts was adapted from prompts I gave the kids. Write your stories or scenes in third person and go on at least long enough to have to make decisions about repeating names and using pronouns. (Naturally, if you like, finish the story or the novel or the series.)<\/p>\n
\u2022 Carl, who doesn\u2019t like to share, possesses something that\u2019s very precious to him, something that can have magical properties – or not. You decide. His three friends, Tomasina, Max, and Wendy, want it. The four are at a local park. Write what happens, including action and dialogue.<\/p>\n
\u2022 Beauty is visiting home from her Beast\u2019s castle. As in the fairytale, her older sisters are jealous and want to keep her from returning. The three are in their father\u2019s modest parlor. Write what happens.<\/p>\n
\u2022 Three characters are around a campfire, conspiring to overthrow their king. The discussion isn\u2019t going well, and one threatens to leave their group. They also hear noises in the woods. Write what happens.<\/p>\n
Have fun, and save what you write!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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