{"id":1434,"date":"2021-06-30T09:23:03","date_gmt":"2021-06-30T13:23:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/?p=1434"},"modified":"2021-06-30T09:23:03","modified_gmt":"2021-06-30T13:23:03","slug":"shy-and-lovable","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/2021\/06\/30\/shy-and-lovable\/","title":{"rendered":"Shy and Lovable"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

On May 25, 2020, Writeforfun wrote, Any suggestions for writing lovable introverts?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am struggling with one of my main characters in my story, the only one who is an introvert. I love writing him because he\u2019s basically me when I was his age, so it comes so easily! He is petrified of attention, introspects constantly and has a little too much imagination, has profound thoughts but has a hard time putting them into words, reads constantly, is a very good listener, is extremely self-conscious, is extremely empathetic, and has a dry sense of humor. My other two are extroverts \u2013 one is moody and overly dramatic with a witty comeback for everything, and the other is an impetuous cheerleader who always acts before thinking, resulting in a lot of either funny or awkward situations.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So far, I\u2019ve let two people read some of the story, and their consensus is that they don\u2019t like my introvert. When asked why, one said it\u2019s because he makes them sad. I don\u2019t know if this is just because he is being compared to these two extroverts and the extroverts are outshining him by nature, or if his personality just isn\u2019t a fun one to read. I suppose I could change him to be more like the other two, but I can\u2019t figure out a way to do it that doesn\u2019t feel forced, and I also want them to remain distinctive. I think the biggest difference between him and the other two is how much less funny he is than they are. There\u2019s a lot of dark stuff going on in this story, so I\u2019ve been using a lot of humor to keep things light, and most of the humor comes from them.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m trying to think of other books that have done introverts well, but off the top of my head I can only seem to think of extroverts. Or at least really well-adjusted introverts. This little guy has been isolated most of his life, so I really don\u2019t want to make him seem falsely well-adjusted just to make him more fun. Perhaps I could make use of his awkwardness to make him funnier, but I\u2019m not sure whether that would be a good funny or a bad funny, and he is always really embarrassed about it afterward, which I\u2019m afraid kind of kills the mood.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My question is, any suggestions for writing lovable super-introverts? Any thoughts on what I\u2019m doing wrong?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A lot of you had ideas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fiona: Well, I personally think that normally extroverts are easier to connect with because we know them better because they put themselves out there. One thing you can do is dip into the thoughts of the character. Put them into situations that force them out of their shell, make it uncomfortable for them to go outside their comfort zone, but make sure the experience shows their personality. Just help him along, let the readers get to know him. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Erica: Could you have him confide in one of the extroverts, and then have one of them act on what he told them? Ex. If there were someone he liked, he told one of the other two, and they set him up with her, then his response could reveal some of his personality. As for literary introverts, try Turtle in the Wings of Fire series (MG and up). He\u2019s an important character in book 8 and narrates book 9, but the story arc starts in book 6. (I have to recommend some of my favorite series occasionally, after all.)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

NerdyNi\u00f1a: Hello Universe by Erin Entrada Kelly has a super shy, introverted narrator. He has trouble speaking up in his family of extroverts. He wants to, and you, the reader, want him to. It would be a good guide, I think.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Back to Writeforfun: I\u2019ve been trying to do some research on what might make introverts lovable, but I\u2019ve mostly only found information on what introverts can do to \u201cfix\u201d themselves and become extroverts (suddenly my introverted self is feeling extremely inadequate and realizing that most of the world sees this as a problem, not a lovable character trait!). I think I\u2019m going to stop researching along those lines for my own sake! Guess I\u2019ll just keep experimenting. I do dip into his thoughts a lot in all of his POV chapters (it may be why he\u2019s my favorite to write \u2013 possibly also why he\u2019s my problem child \u2013 because I give myself free reign for introspection in his chapters!), but I\u2019m thinking maybe he\u2019s just too serious compared to the other two. I think I\u2019ll see if I can play with these suggestions mentioned, and try to find some way to make him funnier or at least a little less serious.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Christie V Powell: Uh, that\u2019s annoying! We don\u2019t need to be fixed!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m still doing some research. One website pointed out that often, we don\u2019t realize that a character doesn\u2019t speak a lot or is introverted because we\u2019re in their POV and see their thoughts (Harry Potter was the example they used).<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another article suggested Jane Eyre, Mr. Darcy, Katniss Everdeen, and Jonathan from Stranger Things (haven\u2019t seen that one). Matilda and Bilbo Baggins also come up a lot.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I like writing introverted characters because it\u2019s easier to have them think something instead of say it, when saying something aloud would cause problems. It also reminds me to use internal dialogue. I\u2019m looking up some examples from my WIPs:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

She thought about adding that the nearby royals had the resources to defeat a new Stygian, but decided she didn\u2019t dare reveal how close they were to the Summit.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keita was tempted to see if Indie would talk to her, but she decided against asking. Would (love interest) be more or less annoyed if Indie obeyed her?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keita thought about asking what (villain) called her, and decided she didn\u2019t want to know.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Did he have any siblings? Besides her, of course, if they did share a father. She decided not to ask, not when he kept glaring at her. What was he mad about?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Leo leaned against the wall of the tavern. His eyes went vacant and his lips twitched. Walker smirked but decided not to point out that he looked half-drunk himself.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I did a find word for \u201cdecided,\u201d and somehow a whole bunch of introverted internal dialogue came up. Make of that what you will<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s a list of tropes that all have to do with introverts:
https:\/\/tvtropes.org\/pmwiki\/pmwiki.php\/Main\/IntroversionTropes<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

These are great!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have shy moments, but mostly I\u2019m an extrovert, and when I wrote introverted Addie in The Two Princesses of Bamarre<\/em>, I needed help from my critique buddy Joan Abelove, who is very shy–because, out of ignorance, I had made Addie almost catatonic. One of the things I did, following Joan\u2019s advice, was to offset her helpless thoughts with useful ones, and I notice Writeforfun, a professed introvert, doing the same thing, like this hopeful idea above: Guess I\u2019ll just keep experimenting.<\/em> The thought doesn\u2019t subtract a whit from the introversion, but it gives agency. Our introvert can take action and fail sometimes and succeed other times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we love him, we can recruit one of our extroverted characters to love him too. We can imagine his pal, Grace, saying something like, \u201cYou are the deepest thinker I know. I depend on you to see around the corners.\u201d Readers, seeing with Grace\u2019s eyes, will find the good points our introvert is too shy to bring to the fore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Introverted Jane Eyre, mentioned above by Christie V Powell, has a backbone made of iron. When she\u2019s sure of a thing, she acts according to the dictates of her conscience. Our introvert can be like Jane Eyre or have other qualities that make him shine\u2013whether or not anyone notices. After all, other characters don\u2019t have to appreciate him; only the reader does. He can be loyal, generous (anonymously), kind, and he can be these things and many more on the positive side without being rehabilitated into well-adjusted-ness. He can be a doer. Because he\u2019s so quiet, people don\u2019t notice him, but when they turn around, the task he\u2019s been set has been done\u2013magnificently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jane Eyre, again, narrates her eponymous novel, and the reader discovers what a sharp observer she is. If our introvert is telling the tale, he\u2019ll reveal in his thoughts the sides of himself that other characters will take a long time learning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He can accept the slings and arrows that come his way because he\u2019s shy\u2013up to a point. When he explodes, the reader, who\u2019s suffered the injustices along with him, will cheer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Writeforfun mentions that he loves to read. Joy is a delight wherever it pops up. We can show his happiness in a book, or in any other of his pleasures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because, as a shy person, he may be overcritical of himself, he may have sympathy for others and may forgive them for flaws he won\u2019t forgive in himself. Sympathy is an attractive quality, and readers are likely to admire it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He may be contemplative rather than active, which gives him opportunities to appreciate. He can be a lover of beauty. He\u2019s the one to notice that another character has changed her hairstyle and it looks great, or that there are buds on a hydrangea bush that hasn\u2019t bloomed in years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m wondering about the criticism by Writeforfun\u2019s readers that her introvert isn\u2019t likable because he makes them sad, which some how has me thinking about Hamlet the character, not Hamlet<\/em> the play. I\u2019m not crazy about him, because he makes me impatient and tires me. I don\u2019t sympathize with his indecision, which goes on for longer than I can tolerate (in my memory anyway\u2013I haven\u2019t read the play in a long time). In the famous \u201cto be or not to be\u201d speech, he goes on and on about how terrible life is, how mistreated his imagined person is, who stays alive only because he fears that the afterlife may be worse. I would tolerate his monologue better if he occasionally dropped in something good, like that the cloud overhead is tinged with pink from the dawn and how pretty it is, and, maybe, that the dead can\u2019t see it. I doubt that Writeforfun\u2019s introvert is anything like Hamlet, but maybe he\u2013and our introverts and less-than-lovable characters need to vary their thoughts and feelings a bit while remaining true to their essential selves. After all, none of us is just one thing. We\u2019re introverts or extraverts, but we\u2019re also good at miniature golf and nobody can beat us at making a pie from scratch, and if we try to sew on a button, we\u2019re likely to have thread running through our nose before we\u2019re done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s plot. How does our introvert fit into it? Can we have him do something that helps the cause, that he\u2019s uniquely qualified to contribute because<\/em> he\u2019s an introvert? We can look for moments like this. We can make a list! Maybe he\u2019s quiet when the extroverts are exploding, so he notices something that turns out to be crucial. The reader blinks, rereads three pages, and breaks out grinning. Yay, Team Introvert!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are three prompts:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022 Your two MCs, an extrovert and an introvert, meet at a silent meditation retreat. By glances and body language alone they communicate their interest in each other. Over the course of a week, they become close (romantically or platonically) without speaking. Write the week, remembering that one is still shy and the other is still outgoing, and then write the scene outside the gate of the retreat campus once the weekend is over and they are able to speak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022 Sleeping Beauty is an over-the-top extrovert, who narrates her dreams out loud for a hundred years. The prince is an introvert. Write the scene when he finds her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022 Rapunzel, an introvert, values solitude. Even the witch\u2019s visits tire her out. The witch keeps her supplied with the kind of books she loves, and she spends most of her days happily reading. Still, she wishes for friendship from the kind of kindred spirit she\u2019s read about in Anne of Green Gables<\/em>. The prince, who is a little hard of hearing, walks by her tower every day without realizing anyone is in it. She watches him, notices how kind he is in many little ways (which you can think up) and becomes convinced he\u2019s the kindred spirit who will give her companionship without overstimulating her. The problem is how to reach out to him. Does she dare? Write the story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have fun, and save what you write!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On May 25, 2020, Writeforfun wrote, Any suggestions for writing lovable introverts? I am struggling with one of my main characters in my story, the only one who is an introvert. I love writing him because he\u2019s basically me when I was his age, so it comes so easily! He is petrified of attention, introspects […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1434"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1434"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1434\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1449,"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1434\/revisions\/1449"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1434"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1434"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gailcarsonlevine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1434"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}