Guidelines for Smooth Writing

These will help you delight your readers.

  • In prose—including fiction, reports, essays, papers, newspaper articles—clarity is more important than anything else. Readers won’t enjoy our exciting plots and fascinating characters if they don’t understand what we’re saying.
  • The most powerful parts of speech in English are nouns (people, places, and things) and verbs (action words). We sometimes need adjectives (modifying nouns) and adverbs (modifying verbs and adjectives), but they’re weaker. If you start to put one in, read your sentence with it and without it to see which way is better.
  • Look for word repetition and substitute synonyms if you notice that you’re using a particular word too much.
  • Vary our paragraph beginnings. We don’t want to start more than two paragraphs in a row with the same word.
  • Vary our sentence structures. We don’t want to repeat two parts of a sentence connected by and or but over and over or to have all our sentences be very short. We want to mix it up. For but, we can use though, although, or however; for and we can use what’s more or plus or also.
  • Long paragraph blocks make readers tired and worried that they’re not up to the job of reading through them. We can break our long paragraphs up wherever there’s an opportunity—a change in focus, in character, in what’s happening. Bits of white space on the page are relaxing to the eyes.

108 Responses on “Guidelines for Smooth Writing”

  1. Beth says:

    Hello! These are great tips! I never thought of using white space as a creative element before. I want to try this!
    I recently finished reading your book Writer To Writer. I’m stoked that you are still writing the blog that inspired that book! I got so many great tips from that book and have been so inspired by your writing! I tried out your advice of ending a chapter with a question in the novel I recently finished and I think it worked really well!

  2. Patrick von Hatten says:

    This will help with my writing, i always think that when i write a sentence that it sounds to robotic.

    But i also struggle with fearing that my novel sound to much like something that has already been published, i think of an idea but after i expand on it for a few days i draw connections to other stories that have already been published! i don’t know how to stop this, i can never finish a novel without this problem?

    • Christie V Powell says:

      Gail has several similar blog posts that might help you on originality. Here’s one:
      https://gailcarsonlevine.com/blog/2013/02/20/building-on-legacy/

      In my opinion, stories are never going to be completely original, and that’s a good thing. Stories reflect a lot about the author and who you are, and that’s so valuable. There are billions of people out there, millions of writers, but every point of view is important and meaningful. If you end up publishing, you may reach some of those people and teach them something new about other people, or they might find a kindred spirit in you. Or you might end up writing the story just for you.

      Side note: Brandon Sanderson shared the analogy of his friends playing basketball. They’re never going pro. They’re never going to make any money playing basketball, but it’s still a worthwhile activity, good exercise and developing real life skills. Writing is like that–it’s inherently valuable and worthwhile whether you publish or not. So go ahead and build hopes and dreams, but don’t forget to enjoy the process right now.

      I would suggest you not worry too much about being original, especially if you’re just in the idea stage. Two authors with the same idea will still come up with vastly different stories (if you need an example, compare Gail’s Ella Enchanted with Just Ella by Margaret Peterson Haddix). Look at how many different fairytale retellings there are, even with the exact same fairytale! And we still read them and want more.

    • Miss Maddox says:

      I agree with Christie V Powell. Of course, you shouldn’t try to copy other authors on purpose (unless you’re just writing for fun for yourself and that’s what you want to do, in which case go ahead!), but I wouldn’t worry about small similarities – or even similarities that seem big at first glance. If you’re not intentionally trying to copy someone, your story will probably turn out vastly different by the end. But if you give up on it just because of one similarity to another book, your idea will never have the chance to develop into something unique. I think you’ll also have more unique ideas as you write more. When I first started writing, I think my ideas pulled from other stories much more than they do now. Just like any other aspect of writing, it takes practice to come up with good original ideas.

      • Isabelle Knight says:

        I know! It’s the same with me. My middle grade fantasy series… SO many of the ideas and themes and just like the traditions and worldbuilding aren’t UTTERLY original! And none of them ever will be! I just pull/steal some ideas from books/movies/video games that inspire me and put them together! As I write, it becomes my own. If you’re that worried about originality (kinda like how I am with one of my ideas), then I suggest you just go and write it out (assuming you haven’t started yet). As you write, your story will take on a shape of its own! If that doesn’t work, first just finish the first draft (unless you need to pull your story/let your story take you in the right direction) and just read through it. Maybe try and taking some of the stories that inspire you and pull a few elements from them and put them in your novel. As you write, all those elements will slowly become yours!

  4. Isabelle Knight says:

    Hey, so… I hope that the sort of writer’s group/advice discussion thing still exists. I have just published my first novel, Enchantria: Guardian’s Heir, but I’m really REALLY worried because I want people to read it and continue reading the next books (book one isn’t the best… I TRIED my best, but like, it’s not the best in the series) but what if no one likes book one and so doesn’t read the other better books in the series? I know this probably is a ridiculous worry, but it’s one that I keep having.

    • Christie V Powell says:

      That’s tough, and it is a real concern. Readers don’t often pick up book 2 unless they enjoyed book 1.

      If you’re indie published, you can always go back and revise book one. You wouldn’t want to make major structural changes, but you can edit and polish when you have more experience. You could also go back and write a prequel later so that the series starts somewhere else.

      The important thing to remember is that indie publishing is a marathon, not a sprint. Getting good at it right away is rare. Getting money or fame right away is rare. But even if no one reads your later books, you will have gained so much experience and new skillsets that will help you write better. And, of course, you enjoy it in the moment, and you’ve created a new piece of art that has value and helps you grow, no matter the external consequences.

      • Isabelle Knight says:

        Yeah… that’s probably true. Thanks for the advice! I actually do plan to write a prequel, though I’m not sure how it’s going to turn out. I’m actually going to do two prequels. One prequel is sort of like the backstory of the villain, and how she came to be. The other is about Helena (the person who first saved all the kingdoms from the evil sorceress, Onyx, and actually created Enchantria, the kingdom where the story takes place). Hey, what would your tips be for getting people to actually read my books? I went over book one and made a few minor tweaks. I think it’ll do fine. Maybe enough to get people to read book two. And I’d say book two’s pretty good. Also, what would you suggest for authors who are in a writing slump? I have been revising my series and am getting pretty tired of revisions now. And it just feels like I’m stuck in a rut and don’t enjoy writing as much anymore. Not fun. Not fun at all.

          • Christie V Powell says:

            Thanks! I’m worried that it doesn’t capture the fairytale-retelling audience well enough, so I’m starting to plan out a new prequel for the series.

            I’m still checking out yours, but I love the cover!

        • Christie V Powell says:

          For the getting readers:
          I’m not the best at it, and everyone/every book is different. That said, here are some things that I do:
          -social media. Personally, I have: a facebook page to run ads with, a facebook group to communicate with fans, instagram, and twitter. I’ve experimented with tiktok but not doing so well there. I have a blog post on using twitter, “Marketing for twitter” on “The Spectra books blog”.
          .-monthly newsletter
          -for a while, I used Bookfunnel to get newsletter subscribers. It’s $100 per year, last I checked, so I don’t use it every year.
          – asking for reviews. I found people to ask on http://www.theindieview.com/indie-reviewers/ Then I send them a letter kind of like a query letter, asking them to review my book, and offering a review copy. Book reviewers get really busy, so usually my success rate is one review for ten requests (so a lot, but much better than query letters).
          -I’ve done some experiments with ads, but not a ton, because there’s a steep learning cost while you figure out how to make it work for you. There are courses you can take, some low cost/free, online about how to do it.

          There’s a facebook group called 20booksto50k that discusses indie book marketing in depth.

          • Isabelle Knight says:

            I’m trying to work on another middle-grade fantasy, FoxClans, but I just can’t seem to get into the flow, like I’ve lost the writing spark. idk. It’s just not fun. I’m also still in revision mode and just want to make everything perfect, worry about character personalities, character importance, characters not acting the way they should, inconsistencies, etc. Any help? I’ll try writing junk, but it doesn’t seem to work extremely well… not for me, at least. My brain literally screams at me to do something useful when I’m writing junk, and whenever I get back to my work in progress, well… I just can’t get into the creative flow as well.

          • Christie V Powell says:

            Here are some notes from my cousin’s class (her name is Whitney Hemsath and she has books out and she’s awesome, so definitely check out her stuff). My notes might be kind of jumbled, but hopefully something in there is helpful.

            How to Look Up When Writing Gets You Down:
            Define what success looks like to you. Ask yourself why. Why is that your why? This answer will be your real goal. Your other goals are only one way of achieving your why.

            Keep a document where you collect the praise people give you (reviews, comments from beta readers, verbal encouragement, etc). Keep any critique somewhere else. This document is for praise only. Read it when you’re feeling down.

            Keep a writer bucket list. Have some tiny items and some massive (finish a first draft, get a multimillion movie deal). Check off some things but don’t delete them so you can see how far you’ve come.

            Shrink the font of what you wrote the previous day so that you can’t read it (while drafting).

            Read the one star reviews of your favorite book. Read the five star reviews of your least favorite book.

            Remember that an imposter is someone with intent to deceive. If you’re trying your best, you’re not an imposter.

            Remember, the businesses who succeed are those who finish something.

          • Isabelle Knight says:

            In reply to the notes: uh… how is reading one star reviews of my favorite book and five star reviews of my least favorite book going to help? Is it supposed to like give me a different perspective? I did read one star reviews of Ella Enchanted (my favorite book along with hundreds and thousands of other books!). As for my least favorite book… haven’t read the five star reviews. My least favorite book is just one I seriously dislike. I mean, it’s not like a BAD book, it’s just not for me.

  6. Isabelle Knight says:

    So… I plan to have Enchantria published as a paperback. Except there are a whole lot of problems. One, I have absolutely no idea how to format a paperback. My ebook was formatted in Kindle Create, and I’d like to keep the same style of formatting. My word processors are Microsoft Word and LibreOffice. My trim size is going to be 6 inches by 9 inches. And I also have no idea exactly how many pages are going to be in the paperback, so calculating the spine width may be a problem. Two, ISBNs aren’t exactly cheap, and I want my book to be available in bookstores other than Amazon. And sadly, I am not a Canadian citizen, so I can’t really just get a free ISBN. KDP does offer one, but then the paperback can only be sold on Amazon. And I can’t really get any apps that require a fee. Any advice?

    • Christie V Powell says:

      I format for paperback in Microsoft Word. Nothing fancy, but it does the job. Page numbers often end up a huge headache, but I can put up with a few hours of frustration in exchange for saving money and having creative control. You can also hire someone to do it for you. I know some people use fiverr to find a cheap formatter.

      For spine width, I know you’re supposed to enter the number of pages into a calculator and get it exact, but honestly, I just guess, and then when I go to submit the cover in kdp, it’ll tell me the correct width if my guess was too far off.

      I just do the free ISBN for kdp/in person only, so you might need to ask someone else that one.

      • Isabelle Knight says:

        Okay, well, I do have some fancy formatting when I used Kindle Create such as the separators for the scene breaks and the chapter titles, books by this author, etc. How would I get those to show up in Microsoft Word? I was thinking of just putting a picture of the separators there, but how would I do that, and would it look weird? I plan to use cream colored paper so…

        • Isabelle Knight says:

          Kay, never mind. I think I’ve gotten that down now… I THINK. Emphasis on the word think. I am going to publish Enchantria as a paperback, but I can’t really order a proof copy because of my location so… How am I going to find a way around that?

  9. Isabelle Knight says:

    WOOHOO!!!!! I JUST GOT MY FIRST FIVE STAR RATING ON AMAZON! any ideas to celebrate? should I be celebrating? I feel like I should. (activate Pinkie Pie’s party cannon). In case you don’t know who Pinkie Pie is, she’s a pink pony with curly poofy pink mane and she is HYPER excited, funny, laughing, and is a party pony! she also has a party cannon that appeared randomly whenever she wants. She’s from My Little Pony.

      • Isabelle Knight says:

        Sounds delicious! Not sure yet what i’m going to do. Hey, I did find a bakery the other day and a place where you can learn archery (the none dangerous type. the one with the suction cups at the end, not murderous weapons… hopefully…) also please note that was a dramatic joke. there is no reason to fear for anyone’s safety. Unless I accidentally hit the cats. Cats are fast, right? Though I’m not even sure if I can even pull the string!

        Yeah, and I am just so excited! I wish I could know who left that five star rating. My book was published on August 28. My friend said that it’s lucky to get a five star rating so soon. Is it? I’m a self-published author. My marketing attempts have been a YouTube Channel with five subscribers (friends and family) and a small author website. I think to celebrate… idk. Maybe I’ll go to a pizza restaurant or find one. Or play with the cats, though the ginger/autumn colored one just licks her paw and ignores me.

  10. Isabelle Knight says:

    How do I deal with stress as a writer? These few days I just often find myself VERY stressed and anxious, and I keep giving myself health scares cuz I think I have a condition and then I don’t. One thing i had a health scare about was glaucoma (basically causes eye blindness…) and still unsure if I have it or not. PROBABLY don’t but…

    I know these things might sound a bit ridiculous to keep giving myself scares like that, but that’s kinda what happens. It’s been affecting my writing, and I haven’t been writing as much, and I feel very down. Any help?

    • Evelyn says:

      Dealing with stress as a writer – this is going to sound cliche, but if it’s not something to do with the writing itself, write about it! Give yourself permission to let it sound bad and just pour your emotions out on paper. Write a horror story about a possessed guy who doesn’t realize he’s possessed and thinks it’s a medical issue, write a comedy or a tragedy about a paranoid knight in first-person who knows he’s being stupid but can’t help himself, write a diary entry from your perspective, write a letter to an imaginary friend, write a poem, write a song, write anything so long as it lets you express yourself.
      That’s what helps me, at least. Writing about stuff lets me vent, and often gives me a fresh perspective on my issues.
      If you’re stressed about the writing itself, my best recommendation is to take a step back and analyze. What part are you stressed about? Deadlines? Make a wordcount plan. Quality? First draft first, then revise revise revise. Opinion? Who cares, it’s your book, someone in this enormous world will love it, trust me. And so on. Make a plan for your stress and remember that everything passes in time, that we are eternally improving, and that your mind is unlike any other.
      Hope this helps!

      • Isabelle Knight says:

        Thanks so much for the tips! (though I’m not much of a horror writer). I’ll definitely try those! I’m definitely a bit stressed about the first draft. For the past few months, I’ve been stuck revising a whopping (they are long books…) four book series and now I’ve jsut found it rather hard to get back into all the first draft freedom messiness.

        • Evelyn says:

          Ooh, a four-book series! What a coincidence… I’m writing one of those too, although I’ve only gotten to the first one so far. I definitely get feeling stuck in revising a big project and then emerging with a bit of a one-track mind. Hope you’re able to sink happily into messy first-draft freedom soon!

    • Miss Maddox says:

      I completely agree with everything Evelyn said. I don’t always express my feelings about real-world problems through stories, but I find journaling and free writing very helpful for managing stress or messy emotions. You might try it.

      If writing is harming your health instead of helping it, I think you need to remind yourself that it’s okay to take a break. You’ll do your best writing when you feel good, not when you’re feeling bad (emotionally or physically). You don’t have to stop writing entirely (personally, I think being creative can be very good for people), but you might try taking the pressure off. Healthy competition with yourself, like setting a deadline, can be helpful, but too much pressure is never a good thing. Tell yourself that you don’t HAVE to write or work on whatever project is currently your focus, that you can just do something else if you’re not in the mood. Sometimes I need to recharge my creative battery, and that’s what I tell myself. Whenever I decide that, I often find myself writing anyway – working on a side project or doodling a new story idea or even getting a flash of inspiration for my main project when I least expect it. I come back after a small break feeling more creative than ever.

      To try making more time for writing, I would suggest carving out a small space of time every day when you can write. It might just be a short time, especially if you’re not feeling up to much writing, but you know that you can sit down every day at that time, put your worries aside for a few minutes, and get lost in a story. Writing a little every day adds up fast! If you can’t focus on your writing because you’re worrying, it might also help to do something calming right before you start. Get cozy with a blanket, read a comforting book for a few minutes, listen to a favorite song – anything that gets you in the right headspace.

      I hope you start feeling better soon! You will get through this; we’re all rooting for you!

      • Isabelle Knight says:

        Thanks! I think I’m feeling a bit better now…. Took a lot of pep talks from my friend, Lexi, though… Also, I’m participating in NaNoWriMo this year! And I’m also looking for writing buddies so…. Also, my username is Isabelle Knight if anyone would like to add me as a buddy. Except that I’m working on a first draft but I literally JUST COULND”T WAIT so I started in October. But I do want to write 50,000 words in NaNoWriMo but I’ll be way ahead if I start in October. And I am a writing powerhouse which means (unless I’m sick with dengue fever or anything serious) that I write two thousand words a day on average. Also, is anyone else here doing NaNoWriMo? If so, I am looking for writing buddies!

        • Miss Maddox says:

          A pep talk from a friend usually does the trick for me as well. I’m also doing NaNoWriMo, but I’m not using the website. I’d be happy to talk about any big milestones/writing problems during the challenge here, though. We can all cheer each other on!

          • Isabelle Knight says:

            Sounds good to me! See you all during NaNoWriMo! (Or when the next writing issue smacks me in the face…) Good luck to everyone out there who’s doing NaNoWriMo, on the website or not! Although, the website IS pretty cool. Except that they closed the forums and something’s up with the YWP (Young Writer’s Program). I tried to sign a younger friend up but… idk. Something’s just up. I couldn’t get to step five and yes, I did provide all the necessary information, e.g. username, email, etc. Am I doing anything wrong or is it NaNoWriMo’s fault cuz I heard they were making a few changes?

          • Isabelle Knight says:

            Also, if any of you see the time stamps on my replies and think it’s weird, it’s because I’m in a different time zone. I am DEFINITELY not up at 12:55 am at night, not even for writing.

          • Miss Maddox says:

            (Isabelle Knight, I can’t reply to your comment, so hopefully this one shows up in the right place.) There is a whole big mess going on with the organization right now (it’s not appropriate for this blog and I don’t know all of the details, but essentially they had a problem with abuse on the forums), so they’ve shut down a lot of stuff. Most of YWP is shut down right now. The organization is in a lot of hot water at the moment, but the challenge is still great.

          • Isabelle Knight says:

            Also, yes, your reply did show up in the right place. Yeah, the challenge is still pretty great though. 50,000 words in a month. The number of words itself isn’t TOO bad for me. The problem is writer’s block. Very glad NaNoWriMo has a dare machine to help break you out of it.

        • Christie V Powell says:

          I’m on the Nano website as Christie V Powell. I do have a new project that I want to work on, a Cinderella/Aladdin mash up (Cinderella’s prince is also the genie, while Aladdin’s princess is also the fairy godmother. And they’re siblings). Except I really need to finish the two I’m in the middle of first (a centaur book and a six swans retelling), so I’ll try to wrap up at least one of those before I start the new one.

          I knew there was some drama with NaNo, but I wasn’t aware how deep it went. I was going to encourage my students to use YWP, but I guess I will change those plans.

          • Isabelle Knight says:

            Well, NaNoWriMo has closed the forums for now and I really have no idea what’s going on with YWP. My younger friend was REALLY hoping to use it. I guess I can just let them use NaNoWriMo along with me… Most of the forums are closed, so I’d say it’s okay for them. Plus, they’re going to be with me so…. I hope you find some workaround for YWP. Maybe you could do something kind of like the YWP? But just not on the official website. Also, I do know that there is a website called Reading Eggs. In Reading Eggs there is a sort of short story contest each week, so maybe some of your students could do that? It may not be great for older students though. There is a word limit per page and you have to create a story based on the pictures provided. I did it once when I was younger. Hope this helps!

          • Miss Maddox says:

            I would just recommend having them do it off-site, on Google Docs or whatever writing software they use. Maybe you could help them keep track of their word counts if they’re having trouble adding it up without the tools on the website.

          • Miss Maddox says:

            I would just recommend encouraging them to do the challenge off-site. Maybe you could help them keep track of their word counts if they have problems adding it all up without the tools on the site. (I know that would have been the most daunting part of doing it off-site for me when I was younger!)

  11. Evelyn says:

    Question – are there any tips to help me write information into my story? I feel like when I try to implement to much through dialogue, it feels forced, but I don’t want to infodump through thoughts either and I don’t know how to make my character’s thoughts go there and then smoothly transition back into the story element.
    I guess I want to know how to help my readers understand the world without having to directly tell them about it, so they feel immersed in the story and understand what’s going on. But I don’t want to make it obvious that I’m telling the reader the information, I want it to seem natural.
    Any ideas/tips?

    • Miss Maddox says:

      I’m not much good at this either, but when I’m reading books, I like when they spread out little bits of information throughout chapters. So in one chapter you get to hear about one aspect of the world, and in the next another little bit, and soon it all builds up to form the complete picture in your head. I think exposition through dialogue usually feels fairly natural, unless both characters already know the piece of information, because then why are they telling it to each other? But if one character doesn’t know something, it makes sense for the other character to explain it to them, so you don’t need to worry about that. I also wouldn’t worry about it too much when you’re drafting. When you go back and edit, you can take note of where you’ve info-dumped and work to spread the information out over more chapters, instead of putting it in all at once.

      • Isabelle Knight says:

        In my book, Enchantria, I didn’t worry about it in the first draft so… Also, if you are in revisions and one character doesn’t know what is going on and the other character is explaining it, maybe try breaking up all the explanations with small interruptions. Like the first character (Character A) could be confused and ask some questions or just interrupt with a small gesture. And sometimes you don’t HAVE to reveal everything at once. Find somewhere in your book to insert a small piece of information through dialogue and then maybe again a scene or two (or even just a page or two) later! Hope this helps!

      • Evelyn says:

        Thank you! I do need to get used to not worrying about it when I’m drafting – I’m a first-draft perfectionist kind of a person, but I’m working on it!

        • Isabelle Knight says:

          Hey, I’m a first draft perfectionist kind of person too! It’s gotten a tad bit worse because I’ve been revising a four book series for a long time. But I’m trying to work around it too. Hey, one tip: If you are a good typer, to stop yourself from doing any perfectionism, try covering your computer screen so you can’t see the words. Or change the font color of your words to white or whatever color your background color is. Then you can’t see what you’re writing! I tried it. It appears to work for me.

    • Christie V Powell says:

      Yeah, you want to be very careful about revealing information through dialogue.

      One common method is to have one character be a newcomer to the area for some reason, so they have a reason to not understand things and therefore need things to be explained.

      I read one book where the main character writes an essay for school about the world-building. You could also have it be a character trait: a know-it-all who explains things that don’t need to be explained, to the annoyance of everyone else.

      • Evelyn says:

        I like both those ideas – especially the newcomer one. I’m definitely working with a lot of culture clash, especially in the first novel, so I can use that liberally. Thanks!

  12. Isabelle Knight says:

    I REALLY want people to read my book (like I want people to read my book REALLY bad) but right now… let’s just say marketing isn’t swift. And also, I’m not a fan of marketing at all. Does anyone have any more tips? My original plan when I started was to use word of mouth, but I’m not sure how to do it, especially since I’m in a different country, and my friends are pretty busy. And does word of mouth really work that well?

    • Isabelle Knight says:

      Also, is it okay if I leave a project unfinished? I’m currently working on a middle grade fantasy book (maybe series) FoxClans, but I’m just so unsure about whether it’s the right project to be working. There’s also another MG book I started a year ago, KNA (Kerron National Academy. That’s the working title), but I had to leave it for now cuz of other things. I’m wondering what I should do… Cuz I’m really unsure about FoxClans. I’m currently in Act Two.

      • Miss Maddox says:

        I can’t advise on the marketing problem, but I will say that you can absolutely quit a project (or set it aside and revisit it later) if you want to. Of course, if you’ve already published something, that might not be the case (though I assume it wouldn’t be a problem if you’re self-published), but if you’re just in the drafting stage, feel free to drop it! People change projects all the time if something isn’t working out. It’s good to try to finish projects, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself to stick with something if it isn’t working – just explore and experiment until you find what you enjoy writing. If you like what you’re writing, you’ll end up with a better story.

      • Christie V Powell says:

        There’s nothing wrong with stopping one project if it isn’t working for you (unless you’ve made promises to readers). Even if you don’t end up publishing it, or even finishing it, you’ve still learned and grown along the way.

        • Isabelle Knight says:

          Haven’t really made promises to readers because I am a brand new author and don’t have any readers. Plus, I don’t really announce new projects unless I have finished the first draft and am looking forward to revisions. Mostly because I knew something like this could happen with the millions of ideas floating around in my brain. Also, do you mind being writing buddies with me on NaNoWriMo? You don’t have to, but I am looking for some writing buddies so if anyone is interested…

      • Evelyn says:

        It is totally fine to leave projects unfinished. I know I’ve got at least six half-started novel ideas floating around in various folders, and who knows – maybe you’ll come back to it, revise it, find that inspiration again, or maybe you won’t, and that’s okay too. Writing is a journey of constant growth, and sometimes growth means looking at a project and going “I have no more motivation for this project and I’m really unsure about the plot, and I’m going to let it marinate until I’ve decided whether or not it’s stupid, and in the meanwhile I’ll work on something else.”
        It’s also okay to leave it and leave it for ten years, or fifteen, or thirty-five, or until you disintegrate from old age and your grandkids assemble a wonderful story from your half-finished drafts and messy mass of notes, like all the great authors had their kids and grandkids do after they passed. Tolkien did it, so you’ll be following in the footsteps of greatness if you do.

    • Nerdy Niña says:

      Hi Isabelle, on the marketing question, it might help if you offered a free sample of the book, so people could read part of the first chapter or something so they can get more of a feel for your writing before committing to buying it. I know for me, it can definitely make me more likely to try something if I don’t have to pay for it lol. But I am in no way a marketing expert, so take my advice with a grain of salt 😉

      • Isabelle Knight says:

        Haha! Thanks anyway! For the marketing… I guess I could do like a reading of my book on YouTube and provide free samples on my website. But the problem is that I’m a totally brand new author and literally no one knows me. I did get a five star review within…. a month of publication, but that may have been the girl/bookworm/both I met at the bookstore. I often use Kindle to get a free sample of an ebook if I’m not sure I want to buy it. My book is called Enchantria: Guardian’s Heir if anyone is interested.

  13. Nerdy Niña says:

    Does anyone have advice for how to frame a short story that spans the length of about five months? I’m starting to write a romance about a young woman who works on a farm for the summer and falls in love with another worker, a migrant worker from Mexico. In a way, it’s also a romance with the land and farming. I want to use the seasons as a mirror of her emotions, with the attraction blossoming in spring, growing through the summer, and then disintegrating in autumn, when the farming season ends. My question is how to keep the story short. I’m not sure how much to include to build the relationship and get all the emotions across. I’m not experienced in writing romance anyway, and I usually don’t read it because it feels sappy to me most of the time. I feel inspired to write this, though, and I want to do it justice. So I guess I’m wondering, how much do I show in every season? How do I deal with the jumps in time, since I’m limited by space in a short story? What would be a good way to do transitions? Also, if anyone has advice for writing romance in general, I would gladly take it.

    • Isabelle Knight says:

      Oof. I’m not a short story writer or a romance writer, but I’ll try to help… Although exactly how short is a short story? Maybe for the first draft you could just let the story take its course and definitely try to make each scene and each character count. Also, romance doesn’t have to be sappy. You could try a few romance books, but if you feel that most romance books are sappy, then maybe try to find some books that aren’t like really heavy romance, maybe just some light ones? And this is not MY tip this is another romance writer’s tip (a romance writer I found on YouTube): she said to make scenes that, in real-life, are very short and to take them and when you’re writing, to sort of make the scene longer? Sort of stretch out the time? And then do the opposite for scenes and things that in real life would take a SUPER long time. Like a battle. Sorry, I’m not a romance writer so… Although there is a YouTuber, Natalia Leigh, who is a romance writer and provides writing tips. Maybe you could find that helpful? She doesn’t just give tips about romance writing; she also gives tips on just… well, writing.

      • Nerdy Niña says:

        A short story can theoretically be as short as a few words, but I tend to write stories that fall into the category of flash fiction, which usually has an upper limit of 1000 words. I’ve written longer short stories, though, around 5000 words. I think a story can be up to 10,000 words and still be classified as short, but typically they’re around 5000 words. This story would probably be around 4000 or so. Thanks for the resources, I’ll look into those. I like to know where I’m going before I start a story, but once I have a framework, I do like to just see where it takes me along the way. So thank you!

    • Evelyn says:

      Maybe tie it into harvesting times, if you’re working with a farm setting? Idk anything about the logistics, but if you can find a couple plausible crops you could tie the scenes into the harvests, or even into just one crop following the care of it. Your scenes would center around them working on the crop, with other scenes intermittent between them as you see fit.

      • Nerdy Niña says:

        I like the thought of narrowing the focus like that. I think that would be a good way to keep the story tight. And it would really help show the emotional journey too, I think. Another question I had is how close to stay with reality when you’re writing a story based on real life. Is there a certain amount of details that “should” be changed, or if everything works well with the story, is it okay to basically tell the true story and just change names and add dialogue? This idea is based on my experience this summer working on a farm, when I met a guy from Mexico and we…I’m not even sure what to call it. We liked each other a lot, and I guess we were flirting, but it wasn’t serious. The fact that he only spoke Spanish and my Spanish is very limited made getting to know him well difficult. There were a lot of glances and smiles between us, but also a lot of times when I’d stare blankly at him, trying to understand what he’d just said. Then we’d both laugh and he’d use his phone to translate. My Spanish did get a lot better over the summer, though. That’s actually related to another question I had: what’s the best way to show dialogue that’s in another language?
        This is a sample of what I’ve done so far, and I feel like it’s a little clunky.

        I set down my bin and smile at him. “Buenos días.”
        He smiles back, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Buenos días, maestra.”
        “Maestra?” I laugh. “Por qué?”
        “Tus lentes.” Your glasses. He continues in Spanish, “They make you look like a real teacher.”
        “Ah, I get it,” I respond in Spanish. “Not yet, but maybe some day.”

        I’m just not sure if that’s the best way to show that we’re speaking in Spanish. I don’t think writing every sentence in Spanish and then writing the translation is the way to go either, though.

        • Isabelle Knight says:

          Oh, I think the way you’re doing it now works pretty well! I think Gail Carson Levine did the same in Ella Enchanted sometimes, although at the beginning of the book, we knew we were in Kyrria and that the characters spoke Kyrrian (I know this is a fictional language but the same could still apply here). Also, I do know several authors who do write sentences in Spanish and then translations in italics that follow. However, yes, you are right, because I feel like doing that ALL the time might not be the best approach. Maybe you could do a mix of that and what you’re doing right now? And if the reader is well informed that the characteres are speaking Spanish (in this conversation at least) then maybe you won’t have to add that they are responding in Spanish?

          • Isabelle Knight says:

            And about the details… it really depends on what’s right for your story. You don’t have to stick too close to real life if you feel like it’s not working and just kinda hindering your story. However, since you are writing about workers on a farm, then yes, at least a few real life details remaining would be good. Not all but just some. And sure, I guess you could tell the true story but I’d also suggest adding a few of your own made up details and twists and new names and such.

        • Evelyn says:

          I’ll admit to my inexperience in that area, but I do think that you could mix up a variety of tactics to keep it from becoming redundant. Maybe sometimes, you have them gesturing to things, especially if they have a hard time speaking each other’s languages. For instance:
          “Tus lentes.” He nods at my glasses. “They make you look like a real teacher!”
          I grin and nod, showing my understanding. “Not yet,” I reply in Spanish. I know those words. “Maybe someday.” I wave my arm, indicating something a long way off.
          He chuckles.

          Very rough, but you get the gist. Gestures, have some bits be in Spanish, some in English – I like the continuing in Spanish part, that’s a really good way of integrating it. You could also have them conversing in Spanish, and then someone who doesn’t speak Spanish overhears them and wants to know what they’re talking about.

          • Isabelle Knight says:

            Oh, I do that all the time when I’m speaking with people I don’t understand! But I’m not a great gesturer… haha! But, yeah, I agree with Evelyn! Plus, it could make the characters act a bit like people would in real life without all the spanish/english explanations!

  14. Isabelle Knight says:

    I normally write very high fantasy. And now I’m working on a new project, KNA, but it’s not exactly high fantasy. Or at least, the original idea wasn’t. the original idea involved a lot of high tech, but I’m not sure if I want to include all that high tech. I’m not exactly a sci-fi fan… The only two sort of sci-fi books I like are Jinxed and Amari and the Night Brothers. I’m more of an old school fantasy writer, and I’m jsut really unsure how to go about this. This is the first draft, but I’m just seriously wondering how the academy in the book should look like and how the story should go. Should it be very high tech with a lot of futuristic gadgets and gizmos or an old school academy like in Mallory Towers or Harry Potter? Yeah… Also, what do I do if I have a good idea but it’s very similar to another book I’ve written or has one of the same major elements? Because there’s another book idea I have and it involves an old school academy.

    • Isabelle Knight says:

      I hadn’t even realized how large the academy actually was, but I realize now. Large, echoing hallways with elegant chandeliers handing from them and lighting up the way with a mix of cool and warm light, long winding marble staircases, huge carpeted landings, endless elevators. This is from KNA. Yeah… elevators don’t really look like they belong here… The original idea was for the academy to be very high tech. But I’m not a high tech person and prefer old school academies, but also, I have another idea that also uses old school academies so… any help is appreciated

    • Isabelle Knight says:

      Also, the writing style for this book is pretty different from my other books. For Enchantria, it was a bit more formal and… serious. Now, it’s just like the MC is talking to the reader. I’m also writing in first person POV, not third person this time.

      • Miss Maddox says:

        I’ve read books with both more high-tech schools and with more traditional academies, and I enjoyed them both. I think you should go with whichever one seems the most interesting to you to write or just feels right. If you’re not sure, you might try writing a test scene or two, once with each idea, and then pick the one that works the best.

        As for repeating ideas, I don’t think it’s a problem as long as the actual story (the plot and characters and other elements of the worldbuilding) are different enough. Plenty of authors use similar ideas multiple times, but they change them up enough that they don’t feel the same at all. For instance, Suzanne Collins wrote both The Underland Chronicles and The Hunger Games series. They’re both about children from struggling families who have strong bonds with their younger siblings and are thrust into war, but the worldbuilding is completely different, so they don’t feel too similar. A school is a pretty basic idea. If you have children, most of the time you’re going to have a school. There’s a lot you can build upon with that to make it different from your other school idea. And remember: No one accuses authors who write realistic stories about school of repeating the same idea too many times just because they all take place in a similar setting (and they shouldn’t, because the actual stories are different). The same can be true of fantasy.

        I think it’s great that you’re trying out different narration styles. Most of my stories have narration that feels slightly different – that’s a good thing! It gives each story its own voice.

        • Isabelle Knight says:

          Ooh! I loved the Hunger Games (up until Mockingjay. It’s still cool, but I do prefer the other books)! Thanks for your advice, though I’m really not sure if I want the academy to be old school or high tech. I haven’t really read a lot of high tech schools. The only ones I read (that involved high tech schools/buildings) were Jinxed by Amy McCulloch and Amari and the Night Brothers by B.B Alston. I’m jus tnot really sure. Should I just write the first draft and see where the story takes me? And I guess even if the academy turns out to be old school, the two academies in the ideas will be different because the academy in the other idea I had was more of like a castle with students sorted into four towers (and no, I did not steal this from Harry Potter. Okay, maybe a little… And a little from the Worst Witch…_

          • Miss Maddox says:

            Haha, I feel like I’m one of the only people in the world who really liked Mockingjay! I know a lot of people think it didn’t have enough action, but I’m not that into action anyway, so I guess it didn’t bother me. I do think the first book is the best, though.

            I think you should probably just start drafting and see which way you end up leaning towards. Or maybe just try daydreaming about both options and see which image speaks to you more. I often find that if I just sit with an idea I’m unsure about for a while, the answer comes to me.

          • Isabelle Knight says:

            I wasn’t too into Mockingjay because of all the war stuff. I’m not sure how to explain it, but I just feel like… idk. Really don’t know how to explain it. Thanks for the advice though! Though I tried daydreaming, but when I did daydream, nothing about the school pops up. It’s just the later events such as magic, the stolen/lost/captured unicorn, and the secret society that’s apparently been working against the government (more specifically the president) who allegedly stole magic. The daydreaming about the school doesn’t really happen much. Also, I just finished Bravely by an author named Maggie (sorry, I have no idea how to spell her last name). It kinda gave me the idea for a sort of romance novel, but I don’t read or write romance. Also, I want the romance to kinda be like the one in Bravely which is kinda slow-ish, but it’s not like a super heavy romance. It’s just pretty simple and… just like the two were made for each other and just fit perfectly. Although the MC started out absolutely despising the other one so… Also, the book isn’t just about romance – it’s also about change, and the main character who has to learn to change and help her family change or else they will be destroyed. So I guess it’s also about her wanting to save her family. I’d say that’s one of the main themes. The romance feels like it is kinda like an essential subplot. Although, I cannot juggle two first drafts at once. I may have to wait until December or whenever I finish the first draft of KNA. But the problem is I can’t stop daydreaming about BOTH of these books. They both feel like they are calling to me and like I can’t wait any longer. (But I can’t exactly switch projects for NaNoWriMo 2024. Once you enter a project for that challenge it is basically locked for it)

  15. Isabelle Knight says:

    Does anyone have any tips for how to do NaNoWriMo when you’re in close quaters with rather irritating people (they are irritating at times) and with no personal space? Because I am currently in a different country and… well, let’s just say it isn’t the greatest especially in terms of personal space. And when I say no personal space, I pretty much mean it. The corners are not nice places to write. And with NaNoWriMo coming up… yeah, I’m kinda doubting I’ll make it.

    • Christie V Powell says:

      Ooh, I feel this one. I have a very small house and a lot of kids.
      A few ideas:

      I often take a notebook around with me for jotting down ideas. Even when I can’t focus on the actual writing, I can do some brainstorming or outlining. If I really, really can’t concentrate, I’ll do art that still ties into the story.

      Noise-cancelling headphones can help. Alternatively, sometimes I play some calming, simple music (youtube has some that are hours long with some simple, repeating background music)

      I have a set time once a week where I go to the library or another private place and concentrate on writing. I’ll still pick at my story at home, whenever I can find a quiet minute, but my “one person writing club” helps me hit my goals.

      I’ve also found that I need to be flexible with my goals. I’ve had to decrease my goals during especially busy weeks, but I still make sure to do something, even if it’s only a paragraph or two.

      • Isabelle Knight says:

        Thanks for the advice! The condo where we’re staying is pretty tiny. And let’s just say my roommates aren’t exactly the most pleasant people to be around with when I REALLY need my space. The good news is that there are some chairs by the swimming pool where I could write. Not when it’s raining though, haha!

      • Evelyn says:

        I keep a notebook too, and honestly it’s so helpful – especially for just writing on the spot. I’d also recommend using the irritating people as inspiration, or as practice. If you can block them out, you can block out stuff in airports or in subways as well.

        • Isabelle Knight says:

          Honestly, I try. But… I’m the kind of writer that needs some peace and quiet/privacy. Which is why I’m so active on Spotify. I can write fine in airports and subways, though I often don’t because whenever I go there I’m super busy and not planning to write. I also keep a small notebook that fits in my purse! Ideas always just pop out randomly at me! Also, is it just me or does anyone else have this situation where you’re just sleeping (or about to) and suddenly you get this awesome idea and you need to drag yourself out of bed to the nearest notebook and pencil?

          • Evelyn says:

            Oh, all the time – thank goodness for reading lights! They make it so much easier to keep that little place of inspiration.

          • Isabelle Knight says:

            I know! But sometimes, I’m just so tired, I don’t even bother turning on the lights. I just randomly scrawl it on a paper, unsure if I’ll ever be able to read my handwriting! I can’t help it! I just keep daydreaming (or night dreaming before bed) about my books, and then these awesome ideas pop in!

    • Miss Maddox says:

      I luckily don’t have to deal with this much, but sometimes I go in a closet (with a flashlight if there’s not a light in the closet) to write if I’m getting distracted. I don’t know if that would work for everyone, though!

  16. Isabelle Knight says:

    This probably doesn’t have anything to do with the writing itself, but is anyone else having this problem??? My computer (using Microsoft Edge here) keeps popping up with the ‘privacy error’ warning. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?! I’m super bad at tech and stuff (haha since I’m literally writing a bit of sci-fi) so… PLEASE HELP!

  17. Isabelle Knight says:

    Hey, if any NaNoWriMoers are here (or any struggling writers, though that seems to be a lot), if you’re interested, there will be a bunch of pep talks popping up on my author website throughout the month on NaNoWriMo! So if you need a little wise writer’s advice or a pep talk, you can go check out https://springfallschronicle.com/ Or just click on my name in this comment and you’ll automatically go there. Good luck with NaNoWriMo you all! Especially to Miss Maddox and Christie V Powell!

    • Christie V Powell says:

      Thanks. I’ve been hovering just below the needed daily word count each day, which is unusual for me, but there’s a lot going on at home right now. I’m actually working on two different stories right now, which helps a little with burn out. I also give myself permission to take a small break if I can’t focus (although that might be why I’m behind…)

  18. Isabelle Knight says:

    Hey, guys! I hit the 25 percent way mark of NaNoWriMo! If there are any other NaNoWriMoers here, then I’d like to know how you’re doing! Also, how would I avoid burnout during NaNoWriMo? And how do I deal with all the late night writing sprints? I do the live writing sprints with Dabble on YouTube, but I am on the other side of the country, so when they (always) host the sprints at noon, it’s midnight where I am, and I’ve been staying up LATE.

    • Miss Maddox says:

      Congratulations, Isabelle! That’s great! I just hit ten percent of my goal. I’m not doing the full 50,000 because I’m working on a project I’m already quite a ways through.

      I think burnout is a common problem during NaNo, but there are lots of things that help. I think the most important thing (both during NaNo and at other times) is to stay consistent. It’s great if you can write a ton of words one day, but if that tires you out so much that you can barely write the next day, that’s not a good thing. All you really need to focus on is meeting the minimum word count every day. Just write enough to keep you going and it will add up by the end of the month. Another thing I think helps is taking breaks. I love a good, long writing session, but it’s important to know when to stop. Sometimes it helps to take a break, do something else fun, and recharge your creative batteries, so you can come back and write more later. I think this is especially good to do if you feel writer’s block coming on. If you give your mind a bit of a break, you often end up returning with some good ideas. Also, don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m sure it’s different for everyone, but usually when I start to feel burnt out, it’s because I’m being too hard on myself. NaNo is an amazing, supportive community, but it can also become easy to compare yourself to others, or even to your own past successes. Don’t beat yourself up because you think your writing isn’t good enough or because you think your word count is too low. Always remember that you’re here, you’re showing up and writing, and you’re doing awesome! All first drafts are messy, and that’s especially true of something drafted in a month. Give yourself permission to let your story be a little messy. There is something great buried in there somewhere – but it might take a minute to reveal itself, and that’s okay.

      As for the writing sprints… Honestly, I wouldn’t recommend doing them at midnight! I know a lot of writers are night owls and everyone works differently, but staying up that late would just tire me out. I usually write in the afternoon. Sleep is one of the most important parts of NaNoWriMo, in my opinion. You’ll write better if you’re well-rested. Tying this into your previous question, I also tend to get more burnt out if I’m tired, so I would really try to avoid that. If you want to write with a community, I would recommend trying to find sprints that are taking place at more reasonable times of day. There are lots of websites and YouTubers from all around the world who do writing sprints. If you can’t find anything that works for you, you can also just sprint on your own with a regular timer or a sprinting website (Dabble has a sprinting website where you can start your own sprint at any time of day). That’s what I’ve always done and I find it just as satisfying as doing it with a livestream.

      I hope this helps! Good luck with your writing!

      • Isabelle Knight says:

        Thanks! Writing at night with other writers energizes me more than tires me out, though. I’m going to keep doing those, but not too often. I’m just doing every other sprint. And yeah, I hadn’t thought of writing sprints from other websites.

        Also, thanks for the tips on writing and burnout. I think that’s kinda what I’ve been doing because honestly, my first draft is probably a mess. So much so that I wanna scream and then bury my face in the pile of discarded notes… I usually just push forward and ignore it so I can finish the first draft. All these tips really help! Thanks so much!

        Also, one more thing, congrats on hitting the ten percent mark of your goal!!!! I’d give you thumbs up and clapping emojis, but last time I tried an emoji, they showed up as question marks. So just picture lots of thumbs ups and clapping emojis here!

        • Miss Maddox says:

          Yeah, I completely understand that. I think it’s fine just as long as you make sure to still get plenty of rest at other times.

          I’m glad they help! I know exactly what you mean. That’s how I feel right now, too, as I’m in the “muddy middle” of my story. At least we can both know we’re not alone in the feeling!

          Haha, thank you! I can’t believe the first week of NaNo is over. How are things going for you?

          • Isabelle Knight says:

            Pretty well! I’ve written a ton, and I’m super excited for this story! I’ve been doing brainstorming by asking myself a whole bunch of questions, then answering them with ideas in question form and on and on and on until I’m happy with what i’ve got. I call it idea interrogation.

  19. Isabelle Knight says:

    Happy NaNoWriMo, people! How’s it going for you all? And side note: I am in the muddy depths of Act Two, and I can’t figure out what to happen next. My characters are supposed to be on a quest to find the last alicorn, but I’m not sure what to happen next. i don’t want them to find her too easily, but I’m not sure what to do to help them find her but yet also make it a real struggle to find her. And I feel like my MC is a bit of a Mary Sue because she’s getting off these problems too easily, and I’m just having a problem making her suffer.

    • Evelyn says:

      I struggled with the Mary Sue problem too for a while, and then I found a piece of advice that changed my entire view on character flaws: Your character’s greatest strengths are also their worst flaws. For example, I have a character who’s an amazing diplomat, a ‘silver tongue’ to use a colloquialism. She can talk everybody into doing anything, and she’s a flawless conversationalist. However, that very strength means that it’s hard for her to be genuine, because she’s used to always saying what people want to hear in order to get them to do what she needs them to. It also makes her manipulative, which can be a flaw or a strength depending on the situation and intent.
      I tend to think about what strengths my character would need to use to get out of the problem, and then figure out how to change the situation so at least a quarter of them become hinderances. Remember that the best problems are problems that specifically and personally target your character. If they’re a master swordsperson and they’re confronted by a few amateur guards, that’s no problem. And you can have it be no problem, if you have other, tougher problems later in the book. Or you could have them be hindered by their morals, because they’re trying not to hurt the guards, or have them be disgusted because this isn’t a fair challenge. Personal, personal, personal.
      If you want a good example of this, I’d recommend reading Interesting Times by Terry Pratchett, specifically the parts with the barbarian horde. I won’t spoil it, but it’s a fascinating analysis of personal problems, that are problems because of who the character is. And sure, they’d be a problem for other people too, but they’re specifically bad for the character because of who they are and what they can and can’t do.

  20. Evelyn says:

    Hey, question for all the description people out there. How do y’all describe clothing? Specifically fancy dresses or unique pieces of clothing, the kind of thing that would take up a paragraph or two of description. What kind of words/phrases would you use for something like that?

    • Isabelle Knight says:

      What do the clothes feel like? What’s the color? If people are wearing them at a ball, what sound do they make – for example, super poofy dresses might have a slight ruffling sound. If also helps me to have a really clear picture of what the dress looks like and draw it out. I’m not so great at putting my tips about description into words, I’m afraid, and honestly, it’s your writing. But this is a piece of writing from my yet to be published book four in the Enchantria series at the coronation.

      Elenora’s heart raced. She stood beside Thalia, dressed in a cerulean blue gown that faded to a deep blue at the bottom, the same one she’d worn to the Meeting of Leaders. She glanced at Thalia, who was dressed in a similar gown but with vines, flowers, and illustrious tigers embroidered on the hem in a glittering silver thread. Her hair had been braided elegantly down her back in a fishtail braid with several crystals studded in them.
      “Are you nervous?” asked Elenora.
      Thalia was visibly trembling. She bit her lip. “I – I’ll be fine.” She immediately contradicted herself by shooting a worried glance at Elenora. “What if I mess up?” She worriedly brushed a loose strand of black hair out of her face.
      “You’ll be fine,” Elenora reassured her. But despite her words, she was nervous too. She was standing beside Thalia on the palace balcony. It overlooked the land, and there was a brilliant view of the magical land of Enchantria.
      The day had dawned bright and clear, perfect for the coronation. Elenora had woken to an insistent pecking at her window only to find a dove standing on the windowsill, a message tied to its leg. Thalia had asked Elenora and her friends to be beside her during the coronation.
      Elenora didn’t blame her, she realized as she peered over the crystal railing of the balcony. A huge crowd had gathered at the palace gates, not only guardians but the entire town of Willowmere and some from other nearby towns, all waiting to see their new queen crowned. And standing in front of the crowd were the leaders, their children, and several of their subjects, all here to see Enchantria’s new queen
      Also standing beside Thalia was Ariella, who looked as if she was going to explode with excitement. She was dressed in the same gown as Elenora, her hair styled in the same way, a simple braid down the back. Unlike Elenora, she looked as if she was going to burst at any moment. Her blue eyes glimmered with excitement. She seemed even more excited than Melina, who stood behind Elenora in the shade of the palace.
      “Can you believe this?” cried Ariella, peering over the railing, her fingers gripping the elaborate railing in excitement.
      Elenora couldn’t. Never in her life could she ever imagined that she would be standing on a palace balcony in a magical kingdom, beside an about-to-be queen.

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