I’m trying to think, but nothing happens

First off, many, many thanks to everyone who suggested titles, which I will soon present to my editor, and you will be first, after my husband and dog, to know the outcome. I can count on you guys!

On October 23, 2015 Rayne Simone wrote, I hope to find an answer to this question and present it clearly-it’s very important in a story I’m working on. Often, story ideas fizzle out, and I have about a hundred 10 pg. stories in my computer. Now that I have started a novel, I plan on delving more into my character and her growth, but I’m finding it hard with her thoughts. When she’s struggling over a decision, or coming up with an idea, I don’t know how I should properly convey her thought process. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions I’m all ears. I hope that this is clear enough.

NPennyworth wrote back, If this persists, you may want to try to write another 10-page story that is just the character talking or her backstory. It doesn’t have to be featured in your novel but may help you to get to know the character better and write her thoughts. You could also try switching your point of view to see if that will work better for your novel.

And Rayne Simone answered. Thank you for your advice, and I will be glad to try it, although I think I understand her character, I just don’t specifically know how to articulate what I want to be written. For example, I could go on and on forever in her voice (I love using it) and write many paragraphs about her home, family, and friends, but I can’t write one sentence of her figuring out a problem. If there was a situation where, let’s say, she was given a riddle or problem that she had to solve, I wouldn’t know how to begin. How do you describe the thought process of people? Thank you for answering, and I am certainly going to try all of your suggestions, and I’m glad that you wrote back.

MisplacedPoetry weighed in, too. Maybe you should just let her go on and get all that out of her system; then she might be ready for some problem solving and you might get how to do it?

And this from Melissa Mead: Can you demonstrate her thoughts through her actions?

Giving credit where it’s due, the title of this post comes from The Three Stooges.

In poetry school, we often do close readings of poems, looking at language, sound, sentence length, meaning. Let’s do a close reading of Rayne Simone’s two comments above, but in this case we’ll consider how we might express thoughts in writing. And let’s intuit her thoughts as she was writing. Rayne Simone, I hope you don’t object to the invasive mind-reading (which may be entirely wrong). I’ve put the guessed-at thoughts in bold:

I hope to find an answer to this question and present it clearly-it’s very important in a story I’m working on. I want them to be crystal clear about how much I need this. Often, story ideas fizzle out, and I have about a hundred 10 pg. stories in my computer. See how urgent this is! Now that I have started a novel, My first! I hope they understand what a big deal this is. I plan on delving more into my character and her growth, but I’m finding it hard with her thoughts. When she’s struggling over a decision, or coming up with an idea, I don’t know how I should properly convey her thought process. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions I’m all ears. I hope that this is clear enough. Will they get it? Will they respond?

And:

Thank you for your advice, and I will be glad to try it, although I think I understand her character, I just don’t specifically know how to articulate what I want to be written. Maybe I didn’t ask the question in the right way. For example, I could go on and on forever in her voice (I love using it) and write many paragraphs about her home, family, and friends, I’ve really done that! but I can’t write one sentence of her figuring out a problem. If there was a situation where, let’s say, she was given a riddle or problem that she had to solve, I wouldn’t know how to begin. How do you describe the thought process of people? Thank you for answering, and I am certainly going to try all of your suggestions, and I’m glad that you wrote back. I want to be sure NPennyworth knows I’m grateful. I don’t want her (him?) to think her effort was wasted on me, and I want other blog commenters to see how carefully I’ll consider and use whatever they send me.

Actually, I think Rayne Simone’s posts are chiefly thoughts  expressed (well) on the page, and I’ve just added some of what she didn’t write. So what gives her phrases a thought quality?

The struggle to get it right. Rayne Simone is refining what she says to convey just what she wants. If she were a character narrating action or feeling, there wouldn’t be–couldn’t be–that struggle. Our MC either draws a sword or doesn’t, or even draws it out halfway. Her heart pounds or doesn’t pound. If we write, She fought back tears, that’s action. If we write, She fought back tears. There was nothing to cry over, anyway. She hadn’t lost anything because she hadn’t had anything in the first place, that’s action followed by thoughts. (I’ve written this in third person, but we can easily switch it to first. Thoughts can be expressed either way.)

What other strategies can we introduce to convey that thinking is happening?

∙ A debating quality. Not all thoughts go this way, but many do, especially when we or our characters are coming to a decision. We question: Is this the right way to go? What else is there? What would Manny think? Doesn’t matter what anybody thinks. Wait! Maybe it does.

∙ Sometimes we order ourselves around in thoughts: Wake up! Get up! Don’t put it off!

∙ Sometimes we address ourselves: Way to go, Sylvie! Or, You are a bleeping idiot, Sylvie!

∙ Sometimes (usually) thoughts continue in interpersonal situations, a running commentary on what’s passing, like the crawl at the bottom of a TV screen: I love this teacher! Or, Who wears shorts over leggings? (Do people do this?) What a weirdo!

∙ Simple language. Most of us don’t think in elevated prose. However, you may have a character who does, who will be an exception.

The rest of the post will be prompts to try out these ideas. Keep the strategies above in mind as you write.

∙ Pick a decision you need to make now or in the next few months. Write down your thoughts about it. You won’t get them all, because thoughts fly by too fast, but snag as many as you can. Fill a page or more.

∙ Pick a character, major or minor, in your WIP, and think what you know about her, what she’s like. Keeping those qualities in mind, either have her debate in her thoughts your real decision, or write her thoughts about your thoughts. Or both!

∙ Snow White has asked the dwarves to give her asylum. You can use Disney’s dwarves or your own. Do this with at least three dwarves, each with a different personality. Write down their thoughts about the decision, because everybody’s thought process is a little different.

Have fun, and save what you write!

76 Responses on “I’m trying to think, but nothing happens”

  1. Kitty says:

    I need some help with a story of mine, in figuring out how characters would react to a situation, so I thought that I might take a poll to see how real people would respond. If you wouldn’t mind giving me a hand, could you please describe how you would respond/react to the situation below? Thanks! 🙂

    Situation:
    You’re a normal college student in, lets say, Boston, who reads and likes fantasy books, but doesn’t actually seriously BELIEVE believe in anything magical/paranormal. (I’m guessing that would describe a lot of you guys here.) Through a series of events, you fall down a large rabbit hole/are hit by a large falling mirror (Choose either one; the two MCs are foils for each other, so their situations are somewhat similar.)and are knocked unconsious. When you wake up, you find yourself in an unfamiliar forest. (Not unfamilar as in strange or magical-looking, just a normal forest like one you might find in a state park or something, but one that you’ve never seen before.) Is your first thought/reaction:
    1. Analytical, trying to piece together logically what happened? (For example: This is a deciduous forest, so I’m still in the northern U.S. There are several large state parks near Boston, so I’m probably in one of them. This is probably just my sorority playing a trick on/hazing me. They probably knocked me out and drove me out to the wilderness and left me here or something, which means that there’s probably a whole bunch of Freshmen scattered about in the area. I can’t find my phone, so I guess I just have to keep walking until I come to a highway/tourist area and can get information about exactly where I am, and then find a ride back to school before people start freaking out.)
    2. “This is not real, and I’m clearly dreaming/dead/drunk/high/otherwise intoxicated.” (The last three probably won’t apply to anyone here, but the characters are college students. And one is hit by the mirror because she was a bit tipsy and accidentally knocked it over.)

    So which would more likely to be your reaction? 1, 2, or something else? And why? And what would convince you that you are indeed awake, sober, and in a fantasy world apart from out own? (Magical creatures? Somebody telling you? A display of magic? Or would you never believe it?)
    And also, if you wouldn’t mind sharing, do you consider yourself more of the analytical, scientific type (think math and sciences, left brain) or the creative type (think art/humanities, right brain)?
    Thanks for your help!

    • Charlotte says:

      So I’m not sure whether I’m in the minority of fantasy fans here, but if I encountered something that seemed to be magical, I’d probably be more like, “Finally!!” than anything else. It’s always annoyed me in books when a character takes the first hundred pages to even accept that anything supernatural is going on, particularly because the reader already knows they’re reading a fantasy book even if the character doesn’t. And as someone who reads a lot of books and watches a lot of movies, I find it hard to believe that someone like me would find it that hard to believe.
      But that doesn’t really answer your question. I think personally I would entertain the “this is magic” idea right away, and I would be hoping for it in the back of my mind, but my actions would be more your #1 scenario. I recognize the types of trees around me; I can think of possible explanations for why I might be here (i.e. your prank idea); and I’m going to proceed as if nothing magical is going on–while still running in the background the thoughts of “what if this is magical?” “what if I come across a monster?” “why didn’t I read Alice in Wonderland more closely?” And as for whether I’m right-brained or left-brained, I’ve always been a bit of a mix between the two (through high school and first-year university I was super into sciences, and then I switched into the humanities for years 2-4), and I think that’s probably why I would think this way: the left brain is proceeding as if nothing is out of the ordinary, while the right brain is preparing you (me?) for when the supernatural arrives.
      Come to think of it, I think the reason the #2 scenario usually annoys me when I see it in books is because it doesn’t lend itself well to ACTION. The character just figures, oh, I’m asleep/dead/hallucinating and therefore I don’t need to do anything since nothing matters in a dream. Scenario #1 gives the character something to do–we’re getting up; we’re walking; we’re looking for our phone; we’re entertaining possibilities.

      Hope this was helpful. 🙂

      • Kitty says:

        Thank you! Your reasoning was really interesting, I’ve never thought about it that way. Guess I’m one of the more cynical readers of the blog 🙂

    • Madam Butterfly says:

      I think I’d be kinda like, “What the heck is going on?” at first, but then I’d think, “Wow this is awesome!”
      That’s just me, but I hope it’s somehow helpful.

    • NPennyworth says:

      I would probably go for option one at first, but if I saw some magical creature I would be silently freaking out in my mind but still a little suspicious, in case this was a prank and I’m on camera. After seeing the magical creature, if I was put in a dangerous situation (a kelpie trying to lure me into it’s lake or something) I would probably conclude that it was real and be out of my mind with excitement.

    • Writeforfun says:

      I have no sense of direction and have gotten myself very lost way too many times, and therefore a SERIOUS fear of getting lost. As soon as I found myself in a forest and i didn’t know where it was, I would be totally freaking out because I was lost! So my opinion will probably not be helpful at all to you ;). I also tend to jump to the worst possible conclusions when I’m panicking, so I would probably think that some sinister person had kidnapped me and left me there before it occurred to me that it might be something more innocent like a prank. Funny, I know. I think I’d be really skeptical that it was actually magic for awhile (you know, once I stopped panicking), and assume it was a dream until something happened that I know I could never dream up on my own.

      Interesting questions!

      Oh, and I am definitely the creative type through and through 🙂

    • Lady Laisa says:

      Well, I think I would be 1, mixed with a bit of 2. A bit of both, actually.

      If I woke up in a strange forest after being knocked out by a mirror, my head would probably hurt. A lot. So I would be first and foremost trying to make it stop hurting. Since I am unlikely to be successful I would then probably assume that I have amnesia of some sort, because I AM IN A FOREST THAT I DO NOT REMMEBR ARRIVING IN!!! I would probably freak out a little. Or a lot. (My bet is on the latter option.) I may or may not consider kidnapping, or other reasons for why I would be in this mess.

      If anything odd started to happen (strange bottles appearing with messages like “drink me” I would start to wonder. I would of course, lean more towards being logical and thinking “there is no such thing as magic etc. etc.” I might even assume I was left in the forest by a madman who likes fairytales and has set up an elaborate, fantasy themed death trap for me.

      I would be hard to convince that magic is real etc. but I think I could end up being convinced. I would be cautious about it, of course, and I would wonder if this could be some sort of awesome technology, but in the back of my mind I would remember that the heroes in my favorite stories were in my position too, and I always was so bothered by how thickheaded they were when obviously they were magically transported to some fantasy realm blah, blah, blah. So I would be cautious, but I would probably end up a believer, in the end, but never quite full-fledged. I’d still keep wondering if this could possibly be simply technology, rather than magic, and I’d have theories as to what it could be, but I would keep them to myself, and pretty much go along with everything.

      I’d lean towards 1, but I might end up as 2

    • Chrissa Pedersen says:

      Fun thought game you’ve set us Kitty. I’d definitely be the #1 person and yes, I’m a science/math geek type although that doesn’t mean my artsy self doesn’t come out, or I’d never think about writing. Actually, come to think of it, without a creative side not much science or math would ever get done.
      In regards to your scenario, I’d personally be trying to figure out how to get home and how to survive, to keep from totally freaking out. A magical creature or two would alert me that I’m NOT in Kansas anymore. But I think I’d still be resisting the notion that I had somehow been transported to a different world. Perhaps the reason that characters so often put off believing they are in a different world, is that if we were faced with a new reality most of us would have a meltdown. The longer you can believe you’re on your own planet/dimension the longer your brain can keep functioning logically. The fear of having no knowledge or control over where you are would be paralyzing.

    • Song4myKing says:

      Fun question! I definitely would have more of the first response. My dreams are never THAT solid. I would certainly first try to remember what happened. Then, aside from being more than a little disturbed about not being able to remember, I would be eager to set out. I love woods and exploring. Also – and I know this sounds weird – for a long time, I’ve wished I could be dropped in the middle of a large, unfamiliar woods to see if I could find my way out. (When I was about 8 years old, at a family reunion, my great-aunt gathered the myriad of children and gave each of us a whistle to wear around our necks and warned us about getting lost. If we got lost in the woods, we were to hug a tree and blow our whistle. Otherwise, we were sure to wander around in circles, and the grown-ups would never find us.)

      What would convince me that I was in a magical place? Not a display of magic. I’d probably chalk it up to technological tricks. Maybe magical creatures, but probably not a unicorn – some eccentric person’s horse with a prosthetic horn. A winged horse, or a faun or satyr – that’s different. I might be a little unnerved and shaken, but also delighted and in awe. But an unhappy part of me would be trying to look for tricks, trying not to be totally “taken” just in case. I’m pretty trusting, in general, so if someone told me it’s real and if it seemed like they were honest, I’d probably go ahead and believe it. Especially if they acknowledged that I came from outside that world. Often in stories, the people in the magic world either disbelieve that the traveler came from elsewhere, or they never find out.

      I suppose I’m a bit of both (analytical and creative). I’m the least practical of all my family (I can’t say most creative – just creative in the least “useful” areas) but my friends consider me to be fairly level-headed and practical. I suppose my very analytical family can take some of the credit for getting that logical side of my brain more developed than it probably would have gotten otherwise.

    • Jenalyn Barton says:

      Hmm, this is a really good question! Despite my love for all things magical, fantastic, supernatural, or otherwise, in the real world I’m VERY cynical. Like, I’m the one at the magic show trying to figure out the trick (and I have done it on occasion). I guess you could say that as much as I would like magic being real, it would take me a lot of convincing, simply because I don’t want to be gullible. So if such a situation happened, I’d be very suspicious at first. In fact “kidnapping” or “prank” would most definitely be my first two conclusions. So I would probably need a figurative (or maybe even literal) whack over the head with magic before I’d finally start accepting it. But once I did accept it, I would be a firm believer.
      As for right versus left brain, while I tend to lean toward the right brain, I have a good balance between both. In fact, in my senior year of high school, I had calculus right after my drawing class. I was good at both, and I could actually feel the mental switch between my right and left brains. Hope that helps!

    • Christie Powell says:

      I’d be #1 also, trying to figure out where I am. I’d probably start walking while doing it, trying to go straight in one direction. I really enjoyed walking in college, and I’d set out from my apartment and just wander all the time, so I wouldn’t be very afraid at first. I’d even be a bit smug (I knew all that wandering would come in handy/ha ha to those silly pranksters who didn’t know that). I think my practical mind would be insisting that it’s all a hoax, but I’d also have a more fanciful one in my head expecting magic from the get-go, because walking alone through wild woods is just a magical anything-can-happen kind of feeling. Some kind of magic creature would probably tip me off, especially if it were flying (that’s hard to fake and still look real), and even more especially if it started talking. A different accent, way of speaking, and the voice coming out of a strange flying creature–that’d be a big tip-off.

  2. Madam Butterfly says:

    First of all, thanks Gail for this post, this is really helpful.

    Second, I have a little writing problem of my own. I have a MC who ends up getting taken prisoner by an army. The story is set in the early days of the Holocaust, and the German soldiers have imprisoned most of the Jews in the MC’s country.
    I’ve tried all kinds of reactions with her, but nothing seems quite strong enough for the awful situation at hand. I’m not sure if words can describe the situation.
    Basically, how would you react if you got thrown into a prison camp for no good reason and how would you plan on getting out? Any suggestions, please?
    Thank you!

    • Marry Norton says:

      I would try reading some real stories about a person in a prison camp. That way you could see how real people reacted in the situation. And about the escaping, I don’t really know how you could escape from a prison camp. You could make her escape from a vent in the wall. If you have ever read the Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Mayer at one point one of the main character escapes her prison cell by opening a vent and crawling through it. So you could use that idea. Or she could bribe one of the guards, but I don’t think that would be very smart. She could always kill her guard and escape by dressing as him/her. Those are just thoughts for you to chew on.

    • Christie Powell says:

      I think the first thing to define is how she knows that this place is ‘awful’, because that would change her reaction. Was she warned by others? Is it just the big fence that means she can’t just walk away? Does she see a guard being cruel, or is she hurt herself? Does she see grisly wounds on others or even bodies somewhere?

      The other thing that would help is, what’s at stake? Did she leave family/friends behind that she wants to warn, or are they with her and she needs to defend them? Or was she alone at first, and therefore willing to take more risks? I would act very differently in a dangerous situation depending on who else is involved.

      Once we’ve got those two answers, it would depend on your character. Is she the type to nurse a never-ending flame of resentment, that she will fight until she dies and take as many enemies with her as possible? Or is she more likely to curl up in a fetal position in a sheltered place and wish it would all go away? Will she think logically, burying all emotion and treating it all like an interesting puzzle? Pretend to go along with things while she works out how the world works? Trusting to others and assuming she’s powerless?

  3. Chicory says:

    Kitty, I would first try to figure out what had happened (like your first example) except I’d be much more panicky and emotional. I’d wonder if I’d been kidnapped, and what the chances were starving, and if did find a major highway, how close would I be to an actual town? What if I found a highway and the closest town was a week away and I starved to death before I reached it? Had anyone noticed I was missing? What would my parents think? I was supposed to be safe at collage! They would completely freak out! If people knew I was gone, would they send helicopters? But how would the helicopters see me with all the trees? I don’t carry matches with me or a lighter and even if I did, I’d probably set the whole forest on fire and burn myself up!

    As for how I’d know I was in a magical forest, I might think my eyes were playing tricks on me if I saw a unicorn or other magical creature (even though I’d WANT to believe it) but the second magical thing would convince me.

    I consider myself artsy and not practical at all. I am the last person anyone would ever want around in an emergency. Or trapped with you in an otherwise empty house in the middle of a thunderstorm. You’d spend more time convincing me there were no ax-murderers around than finding a lantern.

    • Kitty says:

      Thanks!
      And btw, you’d be right to be paranoid; there seems to always be a much greater supply of ax-murderers in empty houses in thunderstorms than lanterns 😉

  4. Lady Laisa says:

    I have a question:

    So, I’ve got this character, and I want him to be likable, but he is very difficult. He is silent, never talks when he can use a nod or head shake or shrug. He is basically expressionless and rarely smiles. He is not prone to fits of emotion of any sort, is always perfectly calm and logical and does not tend to rely on others. In short, he is a block of slightly animated wood.

    What to do? I WANT him to be his silent, expressionless, calm and logical self, but that would bore the readers dreadfully, and I want them to like him.

    One thing about him, is that he has this enormous pent-up anger, but he never lets it show except in the heat of battle, and he is very good at at calming himself to the point where no one can see it, and it is generally dormant. He taps into it when he is fighting and basically goes berserk.

    Since he is not the MC, I’m having trouble showing this. He is incessantly polite to my protagonist, and would never, ever, EVER hurt a lady, so that means he would never retaliate against my MC for any reason, and she wouldn’t be able to experience this anger full on, thus meaning the readers won’t either.

    One little quirk I’ve allowed him to have is that he likes origami. He also likes newspapers. When he is finished reading, he tears the paper into squares and uses them to make his figures.

    Does anyone have any ideas???

    • Bug says:

      I don’t know if this would work at all, but one of the easiest ways to get people to like someone is show that someone being nice to somebody else. Maybe he could give one of origami things to a little girl or your MC?

      • Lady Laisa says:

        He does that once or twice. 🙂 he also leaves a swan as a clue as to where he might be at one point. It’s a fun hobby to use in a story. Thanks!

    • Song4myKing says:

      Have you ever read The Thief, by Megan Whalen Turner? The character Pol is pretty stoic and non verbal, yet everyone who reads the book ends up liking him. Even the MC, Gen, ends up liking him, despite Gen’s initial knee-jerk reaction against his profession. I just finished reading it for the third or forth time, and I tried to figure out if there was anything specific that endears us to him – and nothing major jumped out at me. There were indications that he really cared about the boy he was protecting, and there was that little bit where Gen observed that the other boys respected him. And there was the absence of the nastyness some of the others had. He would be a very interesting character to study, to figure out how Mrs. Turner made us like him so unobtrusively. It’s like he just was who he was, and he was good, so we liked him.

    • Jenalyn Barton says:

      I don’t know if this is what you’re going for, but I immediately thought of Longshot from “Avatar: the Last Airbender”. If you haven’t seen the show, I suggest looking him up. He’s a character that almost never speaks and shows very little emotion, like you described. The way the show’s crappies handled this was by pairing him with another character who knew him so well that Longshot never needed to speak. It did come across as a bit comedic, since basically it looked like the other character was having a one-sided conversation with him, but it also made it that much more powerful when he finally does speak up. You could probably work this to fit your story by having another character who can see right through him and can tell when he’s burying his emotions. They don’t necessarily have to interpret for the audience and announce out loud everything your silent character is thinking, but you could have them, say, run after him when he walks away angry, despite the fact that he acted and looked just fine. You know, things like that that would give your readers subtle clues that there is more going on than he would have you believe.

      • Jenalyn Barton says:

        I didn’t proofread until after posting, and now I’m embarrassed. I meant to say the show’s creators, not crappies. Stupid autocorrect.

    • Madam Butterfly says:

      I had a character like that. He was very quiet, very careful when he talked, respectful of women, tried to hide his frustration most of the time, and when he got mad to the point that he couldn’t control his anger, he blew up.
      Once, his best friend was sick and another girl was supposed to take care of her. The other girl was lazy and didn’t want to do her job. He was so furious at her because he really cared about his best friend.
      I guess that’s just what it made me think of. Hope it helps!

  5. Marry Norton says:

    You could make him get in a fight with another person while the MC is watching. I do think this character is interesting, sometimes it’s good to have a mysterious character. I am interested just reading about him. Try thinking up a few scenarios where he is forced to react in a drastic way. Good luck with your story.

    • Lady Laisa says:

      Thanks Marry Norton! I think I can probably work that out. Dragons are always a possibility, especially if they puts the MC in danger…

      Does anyone else have any thoughts?

      • Melissa Mead says:

        Maybe your MC has heard rumors about what a fierce fighter this guy is, and is constantly wondering if they’re really talking about the silent, preternaturally calm guy she knows?

        • Lady Laisa says:

          Thanks everyone! (Sorry I didn’t get back sooner. I was away without access to internet.) These are all excellent ideas.

          Mira Elizabeth: Yeah, if someone someone insults the MC it will get a response. Probably nothing too major, but enough of one to bring him out of his shell for a moment or two. I think I can work it into the script.

          Song4myKing: I LOVE THAT BOOK!!!!!!! And I adored Pol. Argh! He was wonderful. But he is also a very minor character. However, by showing that some of the other characters respect my character he might end up slightly more likable.

          Jenalyn Barton: That sounds funny. It wouldn’t work in the long run, but for a few short scenes it would offer some insight into his personality if someone else knows him really well.

          Madam Butterfly: Sure, if someone neglects someone be cares for he would show a little personality. He wouldn’t blow up, but he would at least talk. And that gets me somewhere.

          Melissa Mead: Good idea. My MC would hear of him–not much, because he belongs to a different sector than herself–but enough to make her extremely curious.

  6. Chrissa Pedersen says:

    Thanks Gail, very thoughtful response about how to write internal dialog. I had always thought that when writing in third-person you should italicize and use a ’thought’ dialog tag.

    Example: If only he’d stop talking his fool head off I’d be able to ask her out, Geoffrey thought.
    (visualize the italics in the above sentence)

    However, during a critique last year I was told that I shouldn’t italicize or use a tag because it was no longer in style. It seems obvious not to use that format in first-person, but third? Thoughts?

    • Gail Carson Levine says:

      I don’t know what’s in style and what isn’t, but clarity and simplicity always rule. If you can avoid italics without confusing the reader, that’s the way to go.

    • Jenalyn Barton says:

      Unless an editor/publisher tells you otherwise, you’re good to write thoughts however you decide, as long as you pick one style and stick to it.

  7. Nessa says:

    Great post and writing prompts, Gail! I especially like the writing-about-your-character’s-thoughts-about-your-thoughts-about-her one. I’m definitely going to give that a try! 🙂

    Sooo, everyone, I have a bit of a problem. I have a *lot* of story ideas, and I figured I should probably just try to pick one to concentrate on finishing; I did, but I’ve recently realized that the plot is going to be a lot more complicated than I was originally thinking, and I need to majorly rework my outline…so in the meantime, I was thinking maybe I should choose one of my other (comparatively simpler) story ideas to work on. The only problem is, I’m not sure which one to choose…so I was hoping maybe some of you could read through the list of the eight ideas I’ve narrowed it down to (I know, I know, that’s still a lot…) and give me your opinion on what sounds most interesting?
    Here’s what I have:
    • A story based on Robin Hood, set in a future post-apocalyptic society
    • A half-faerie girl works with the police, needs magic to live, and is being stalked by a secret admirer who just might be one of the very criminals she’s supposed to catch
    • An ex-news reporter joins a secret federal organization called RAVEN (Restricted Alliance for Various Extraordinary Nonentities) and forms her own team of superheroes
    • A human-looking extra-terrestrial girl living on earth goes on a quest to find her long-lost parents and stop some evil “mythical” creatures who have infiltrated society and are planning world domination
    • The labyrinth of ancient Greek mythology has been unearthed (complete with magic, booby traps, and a Minotaur). Some twisted-minded TV show producers decide to take some kids, stick them in the labyrinth, and film it.
    • The characters from Norse mythology abandon their home-world when Ragnarok (the Norse version of Armageddon) begins and they travel to earth to start new lives. Most of their minds are wiped in the process, but they retain their powers and abilities.
    • A rather unconventional “School for Young Ladies” educates pupils in the art of being a “warrior princess,” teaching things like how to defend oneself with knitting needles and endurance-running in skirts and high-heels.
    • A girl and her brother are bequeathed a vanity table and a (seemingly) ornamental sword, respectively, by their deceased elderly neighbor. They soon discover that the mirror of the vanity table is a portal to another world, wherein dwell the characters of Arthurian legend.

    I do plan to write all of these stories eventually, I just need to decide which one to start with. 🙂

    • Lady Laisa says:

      Ooh! They all sound awesome! Ugh, it’s hard to choose, but I guess I’d go with the RAVEN idea? It sounds really cool. Good luck! I can’t wait to read some of these!

    • Song4myKing says:

      I don’t think we’re being very helpful, so far. 🙂 If I was looking at all them as stories to read, I’d probably pick the extra-terrestrial girl on Earth followed by the futuristic Robin Hood.

    • Jenalyn Barton says:

      They all sound like fantastic ideas! I can see why you have a hard time choosing just one. With me, personally, I try to go with the story idea that I am currently most excited about, because I know that it will be easiest to maintain my interest. I try to pay attention to the stories that I keep going back to, the ones that I’m eager to play with and revisit in my head, and that is how I know which story to work on. The only problem with this is I have ADHD, so my interests can sometimes bounce around, but I’m learning to take the one I’m most interested in and try to stick with it. Hope that helps!

    • Madam Butterfly says:

      Sorry to make the picking any harder, but I love the school for young ladies idea. (I grew up on the Princess Academy trilogy, so any all-girls school book is good with me) 😀

  9. Madam Butterfly says:

    BTW, are the Lunar Chronicles clean? I saw the B&N ad for WINTER and thought it might be up my alley but I don’t know if the series would be Mom-approved. Have any of you guys read them?

    • NPennyworth says:

      Yes, I’ve read them and really enjoyed them. They are mostly clean, but there is a bit of violence, which increases later on in the series. It is not glorified and is seen as a horrible part of the war, and it is not as bad as some books are. Some of the characters kiss. The language doesn’t have any horrible words and is fairly clean, depending on your definition of a swear word (nothing much worse then “stupid”). There are no huge problems with the series, and it promotes very good morals. I think that it would probably be fine but I don’t know what sort of things that your parents okay, so it might be best to check with them first.

      • Madam Butterfly says:

        It sounds like it’s okay. Language and extreme sensuality is my mom’s big concern. I don’t think she’d consider “stupid” a swearword, so it should be some good reading!
        Thank you!

    • Nessa says:

      I made the mistake of reading the one about the evil queen when I hadn’t read any of the other books, and I now have zero desire to read any more of them. I definitely wouldn’t say it was clean, she’s in love with a married man most of the book. Sorry if that’s a spoiler…? In its defense, it *was* the one about the evil queen, so it might be the exception. If you’re going to read them, I suggest starting with the first one, it’ll probably make more sense that way–I kept getting confused by references to characters from the other books that I didn’t know anything about. 😉

  10. Marry Norton says:

    Madam Butterfly: I read the Lunar Chronicles, but stopped on the book Cress. I liked them, and they don’t have any bad content, but I still have some convictions about them. They aren’t the best of books, and I wouldn’t say they are wonderful, but they are okay. There is a little too much romance in it, it seems like the author paired up every character she could find. The books are captivating though, and I was surprised I liked them. I’m not usually a big fan of sifi books. I would say read the first book, and if you like it read the others.

    Nessa: I liked the one about the half fairy girl, it sounded fresh and exiting. But I also liked the one about Robin Hood. Just some feedback for you to chew on.

  12. Madam Butterfly says:

    OK, I have a quick writing question. I’m doing a Cinderella kind of story. My MC Katie runs away from her abusive stepfamily and lives in the streets for a while, and she’s become very hardened, cranky, and sometimes rude. Then she meets this rich boy named Ted. He’s very patient and understanding and doesn’t talk much. When Katie’s around Ted, she gets very sensitive and soft, and she’s almost a different person.
    So the question is, how do I make the transition between Tough Katie and Sweet Katie? It’s almost like she’s two different characters.
    Thanks!

    • bird dog says:

      In Katie’s thoughts,she can express if her rudeness is more a reaction to a fear of being hurt. It would only be natural to be defensive and after being abused by her foster family. If you are able to show that she is only defensive out of experience, it might make it easier to understand why she is so different with Ted.
      Something like:
      Katie saw the people from the shelter park their van, a man with a sympathetic face made his way over. She didn’t want his pity, the look of it made her mad, after all, she wasn’t a drowned kitten! “Would you like to come back to the shelter? It’s safe and warm-” She shoved past him. “I can take care of myself!” She wondered if she might have gone, just for a while, but no, better to rely on herself.

      Good luck, that seems like a hard transition to write, but I’m sure you’ll figure out how to do it in a way that you like!

  13. Florid Sword says:

    You could talk about how she doesn’t understand herself why this happens, or say that she feels like a different person around him.

  14. Madam Butterfly says:

    Hi everyone, I have yet another writing dilemma. I have been working on a manuscript called “Darker Winter”, and it’s about an ice sorceress. She signs up for this reality TV show where 50 girls vie for one guy who happens to be a hunky prince charming. Sometimes she gets mad at the other girls and her sorcery goes wild, and the rest of the girls end up hating her and trying to toss her out of there.
    I have pitched it to 10 agents, but they keep rejecting it. I think they are dismissing it as a “Frozen” rip-off. But it’s nothing like “Frozen”!
    Do you have any ideas? Thank you!

    • Nessa says:

      Sounds like you have a lot of writing projects going! 🙂 I don’t really know anything about talking to agents, but maybe it would help if you explain why you were/are inspired to write it? As long as you weren’t inspired by Frozen, that is. 😉 Also, if you can, try to (politely) ask them why they aren’t interested. Maybe it’s not because they think it’s too similar to Frozen, but more because they feel TV, movies, and popular media are a bit saturated with “icy” themes and characters lately, (Frozen, Once Upon A Time, Rise of the Guardians, The Huntsman Winter’s War…Game of Thrones? Not sure about that one–I’ve never watched it, and never will–but for a while I kept seeing all these memes on the internet about it that said “Winter is Coming…”) maybe they just don’t feel there will be much of a market for it.
      If that’s the case, you may have to wait until the “frozen theme” in movies and TV shows has died down a bit. In the meantime, of course, you can keep pitching it to agents. Maybe you just haven’t found the right one yet! Remember, Gail says on her website that she “collected rejection letters for nine years until an editor wanted the manuscript for Ella Enchanted.” And I’ve read before that the lady who wrote Harry Potter was turned down by 12 publishers before she could get her first novel published. Never give up; perseverance pays off!
      I do have one more idea, and you probably won’t like it, but I think it’s worth considering…what if you changed your ice sorceress’ powers to another element? Fire, water, earth or wind? Or even lightning, or something? It would mean you’d probably have to change your story a lot, and your title, too, so weigh your options and see if you think it’d be worth it. Depending on how far you’ve gotten in your writing process, it may not be a really viable option.
      Anyway, I hope that was at least somewhat helpful. I wish you luck!

      • Madam Butterfly says:

        Yeah, I write about a million things at once. I was actually inspired by Shannon Hale’s Books of Bayern (which don’t have an ice story, but the sorcery is similar). I think I should put something about that in the query.
        In the meantime, I’ll keep pitching it.
        The story is pretty much done (I’m actually finishing my final proofreading right now) and changing her powers would involve a lot of editing. I have some fire, wind, and water sorcerers in the story already, though.
        Thanks!

  15. Nessa says:

    Thanks so much for your feedback on my story ideas, everyone! 🙂 I think I’m going to go with the Robin Hood one for now. If I ever get it published (some day in the far future), I’ll let you know!

  16. Poppie says:

    I totally agree with Nessa about your story, Madam Butterfly. In fact, I was going to tell you some of the same things she did….especially about changing your main character’s power.
    Don’t give up on your story!

  18. Evangeline says:

    Hi does anyone know any good female names that mean light, or torch? Plus if anyone has any interesting names I’m glad to hear them. I kind of have a name collection…….
    Thanks!

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