Weepy

On April 16, 2015, this came into the website from Yulia in the old blogspot days:

My main character is VERY moody. She is rather oversensitive and gets easily upset. I reread my manuscript and she’s crying in every other scene. I don’t want a main character who’s making mountains out of, well, let’s say, gnome’s hills, but that’s her character.

I tried making her more unemotional, but then she seems bland. I want her to be passionate and vibrant like she is, but what kind of reader wants to sit through a crybaby heroine?

I suspect that Yulia has finished this story and written a dozen more by now. Here are my thoughts anyway:

I had the same problem in one of my Disney Fairies books. Gwendolyn, one of my few human characters, was forever weeping and my editor was, too–in exasperation.

This was years ago, so I don’t remember what I did, but I remember her frustration whenever one of my characters threatens to become lachrymose. Here are some possibilities that don’t create blandness:

∙ Our MC can sometimes express her sadness physically in ways that don’t involve actual weeping. She can swallow back the tears, blink them away, cram her fists into her eyes. She can be cried out or be too exhausted to cry.

∙ She can recite a few words that she’s memorized to help her through hard times. If we introduce the words as her tear stoppers, the reader will know she’s sad whenever she invokes them.

∙ Likewise, she can visualize something that comforts her: a beloved face, her pet frog, a flower.

∙ She can have developed a defense against crying. Habitually, she converts her tears to laughter or to a joke. In this case, the reader may come to wish she could experience the relief of tears, so that when she finally does weep, the reader is actually happy.

∙ We can change her character in this regard. She can be someone who almost never cries. Maybe she converts her sadness to action, say, to good works that make her feel better.

∙ Or she may deflect sadness by becoming angry, which can be her most serious flaw, or which may give her the energy to keep going in the face of tragedy.

∙ She can encounter so much misery that she becomes hardened and stops weeping. Going back to the physical, she can develop other symptoms instead, sleeplessness, for example.

∙ By nature she may not cry much. A certain kind of trigger may be needed. I’m that way. I hardly ever cry, although I can feel very sad without tears. About a year or so ago, though, I had a health scare (I’m fine), and it seemed like the doctor had turned on a spigot. I wept non-stop from his office to the emergency room.

Taking another tack, we may want to look at our plot and see if we’ve created tragedy overload. Our problem may be a sad sack story rather than a crybaby heroine.

We need bad things to happen to keep our story moving. As you all probably know, I advocate making our characters suffer. But suffering can take many forms and call forth many responses.

In a chapter in Ella Enchanted, for example, Ella has to try to kiss a parrot, who keeps flying away from her. It’s absurd, not weep-worthy, though she is suffering, and the reader sees the crazy lengths she has to go to to satisfy her curse. I hope the reader suffers with her–and laughs, too.

In The Two Princesses of Bamarre prequel I’m working on, I drop my MC, Peregrine, as a very young child into an environment where she has to earn every shred of affection that comes her way–love seems to be entirely conditional. She works harder than a child should have to and suffers without understanding. Tears bring her only disapproval, so she learns not to cry.

In Anne of Green Gables, Anne breaks a slate over Gilbert Blythe’s head. She’s furious and stays furious and has to endure her own anger, another form of suffering.

We can disappoint our MC or frustrate her. We can give her the hiccups at absolutely the wrong moment, which can be funny or serious, because she can be on a first date or performing brain surgery.

Let’s say our MC’s friends turn on her. She can: cry; desperately try to win them back; over-explain herself; beg; look for other friends, and the pickings can be slim; be unhappily alone. The point is that in most situations there are lots of options. Even the death of a loved one can evoke a response other than weeping.

It’s also possible to write a weepy but likeable heroine. In my Disney Fairies books, Rani is a water-talent fairy. She’s forever weeping, because her nature is largely water. No one holds that against her. Our MC can be known for her waterworks. Her father says the family should buy stock in Kleenex. She’s weeping but she carries on. The crying doesn’t stop the action. She does what needs to be done with streaming eyes and a red nose. The people who love her, love her anyway. If they don’t mind her crying and they’re likable, too, the reader will probably go along, too. There are opportunities for humor as well. She can weep before dessert at every meal, because it’s her favorite part, and she won’t have it to look forward to once she eats it. The reader doesn’t need have to be told every time. He’ll understand and imagine a downpour. Then, if we like, when something really sad happens she can be dry-eyed, which will have an impact.

Here are four prompts:

∙ Create a hiccup crisis. Invent a situation and a character, and make him suffer. Write the scene.

∙ Create a hiccup crisis in your WIP. Make the consequences serious.

∙ In a test of her strength of will, your MC is injected with a serum designed to make her weepy. She’s taken to a laboratory. Tragic images are projected on the walls; sounds of misery blast from speakers. If she gives way and weeps, something dreadful will happen, whatever suits the needs of your story. Write the scene. If you like, keep going and write the story.

∙ Write a scene in “Snow White” that includes the eighth dwarf, Weepy.

Have fun, and save what you write!

36 Responses on “Weepy”

  2. Jenalyn Barton says:

    When my Grandpa died, at the viewing, I was smiling, not crying. It sounds terrible when I put it that way, but really I didn’t know how to react because I wasn’t crying and everybody else was, so I would give people a pained smile instead. Because I wanted to cry but couldn’t, I ended up giving myself a stress headache. In fact, the first time I really, truly cried was a few months after the funeral when I went to visit his grave, and even then I didn’t cry until I had gotten back in the car. When I finally did, it was a sweet release. Now I know, through experience, that grief is not always expressed through tears. Hope that helps.

    • Song4myKing says:

      I was like that at my Granddaddy’s funeral. I cried when I was alone, but smiled in public. When somebody mentioned his grin during the funeral, I suddenly had a mental picture of it, and it almost made me laugh. Sometimes laughter is pretty close to tears.

  3. girl_artist says:

    My main character only cries when something terrible happens, but she’s quick to avoid danger. She doesn’t cry all the time, though.

  4. Erica Eliza says:

    I just wrote a scene last night where my main character is “kidnapped” and she’s not sure if it’s a prank or the real thing. Originally I’d planned to have her cry, but as then I remembered her sister saw the whole thing. She ended up worrying and bargaining for her sister’s safety and that distracted her form her own plight. Once she finds out it’s a prank she’s humiliated instead of scared, and she disguises humiliation as anger by yelling at the guy who planned it.

  5. Yulia says:

    Thanks a lot Gail for posting this. I’m not supposed to be blogging right now, but I couldn’t help but check in on you guys.
    Thanks to all of you for your help over the past month or so. My writing is getting a lot better and my main character has dried up a little.
    Have a nice day, you writing angels!
    Yulia
    P.S. I love my new title GIRL IN THE RED MASK. Thanks for that too!

  6. Kitty says:

    So quiet on the blog these few days… Usually there would be dozens of responses by day 2. I wonder if everybody is on vacation or a social media diet?

  7. Yulia says:

    Hey, one quickie writing question (yeah I know I’m not supposed to be out here): I’m writing a story where the characters speak very broken English. How do I express that their English is very broken and make it still make sense to the readers? It sounds awful if they’re saying “I no sing in opera of ghost”. Any tips?

    • Kenzi Anne says:

      Jessica Day George has a character in her Castle Glower series (which I simply adore!!) who doesn’t speak the main character’s language fluently. The way she has him speak makes it very clear he struggles, but he is also very easy to understand and I never once got tired of him! You might want to take a look at how she does this; I’d offer lines in here but I’m in transit right now and all of my books are packed up (*sobs*). Good luck, Yulia!! 🙂

      • Yulia says:

        I read Jessica Day George’s books all the time. I’ll check how he talks.
        I heard she has a new book out called Silver in the Blood, but she says it’s more adult-y. Can anyone tell me whether it’s like that because there’s gore/violence, foul language, or steamy romance? If it’s gory, my mom might let me read it, but any cussing or hot-hot-hot scenes and I’m toast.

        • Kenzi Anne says:

          So I personally haven’t read it, but I looked it up and I don’t think there’s anything like that in it. Jessica is very good at keeping her books appropriate; I think it just has darker themes. 🙂

      • Yulia says:

        Just read TUESDAYS AT THE CASTLE, Kenzi Anne, and studied how both Prince Khelsh and Prince Lulath structure their sentences. Might try that in my book.

    • Song4myKing says:

      A friend of mine had a few ideas. She thought that if you throw in some broken English every now and then, it will remind the reader, and you won’t have to warp every sentence. Also, the MC may not always realize how she sounds. To her (and the reader) it sounds normal, but she realizes she must have said something strange by the looks on other people’s faces.

      As to how to write broken English, it makes a difference what language the person is coming from (like in Spanish, adjectives follow the noun). You could look at the language and see what kind of grammar mistakes the person might make. My friend taught a Russian first-grader last year. He can converse well, but he’ll use sentences like, “My brother Daniel, he like to swim.”

      I’m reading a book right now where the MC is learning a language. The writer didn’t mess with grammar at all, but sometimes the MC has to stop and find another way of saying things because she hasn’t learned a word yet. It’s “Colors in the Dreamweaver’s Loom” if you want to check it out.

      • Yulia says:

        Cool, I’ll try that.
        My mom’s Mongolian but she sometimes speaks Russian to herself, and I know a little. I’ll have to check out how the languages translate.
        Thanks!

  8. Kitty says:

    Is it because they speak a foreign language, or are they just bad at English in general? If it’s because of the foreign language barrier (Which I’m guessing it is since your novel is set in Europe, right?) maybe have them mix in a few words from their native language in, when they are struggling to find the right words in English. The reader can probably figure it out from the context. The Book Thief does a really good job of mixing German with English, so check that out if you want some reference material. Also, consider making them hesitate or pause in between words to show that they’re not fluent. If their English skills aren’t super bad, you could also have them make little grammar mistakes that don’t render the material unreadable, but still wouldn’t be made by a fluent English speaker. (verb tense, plurals, mispronounciations, etc) But be careful if you do that, make sure its obvious that it’s the character who doesn’t speak English well, or your readers might think you have an editing problem. Hope this helps!

  9. Yulia says:

    Hi, I’m writing a query letter and I have a little question. Do I put my contact info at the top of the email or the bottom? And should I give them a link to my email address in case they want to reply, or leave it out?
    Thanks! Now back to work. *sigh*

  11. Melissa Mead says:

    Uh-oh. The board doesn’t like me posting links again. Gail, could you “moderate” my response to Yulia’s post? Thanks!

    (Short answer: Contact info usually goes on top. The link has an actual formatting guide.)

  12. Melissa Mead says:

    Well, I have a status report, of sorts, on that Sleeping Beauty story from the P.U.S topic awhile back. I’ve been struggling with it all along, and this morning I woke up primed with a horror story based on something that one of the characters said.

    I couldn’t write it right away, because I had to get to the farmers’ market/booksale. Thanks to one of Gail’s posts, I bought and read Sarah, Plain and Tall. (I see why it won the Newberry!)

    Whether it’s because I couldn’t write horror and betrayal with that good, honest book in my mind, or because I just don’t do straight horror well without pathos, I ended up with more of a dark tragedy. Anyway, now I have a first draft that’s complete, but very different from the story I meant to write. I’d like to write the other one too, but they’re both basically about the same characters trying to solve the same problem, only they do it in very different ways. Different enough to make them different people, I think, but I don’t know if I’m writing 2 different stories, or 2 versions of one.

    (I’m a bit embarrassed that this one went so quickly while I’ve struggled with the other for so long, but it’s “easier” to solve this problem if you’re not trying to give everyone a happy ending and don’t care if people die.)

    • Chrissa Pedersen says:

      You’ve inspired me to get Sarah, Plain and Tall out from the library!! It’s been on my list for ages, but somehow keeps getting pushed down as I find others to read. Thanks Melissa 🙂

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