Pursuing chase variety

I have a blog-related dilemma coming up. In September I’m going back to school, to poetry school, to be exact for a masters degree in poetry. (Very exciting!) I’m also going to continue writing my books, and I’m worrying about time, particularly having time for the blog, which I don’t want to give up. What I love most is reading your comments; I’d feel deprived without them. So I’ve thought of three possibilities, and I’d like feedback. One would be to post every other week. Another would be to write a post and break it in two, half posted every week. A third would be short posts every week with only one prompt, or two at the most. I’d welcome other ideas. What do you think?

Onto today’s post. On June 27, 2013, Tiki Armsford wrote, One of the scenarios that I have the hardest time writing is chase scenes, particularly the ones where there’s a lot of running. There are only so many times I can write, ‘her heart was pounding’ before it gets repetitive (usually once). Do you have any advice to help keep people from getting into this rut? Any words on writing scenes that could easily get repetitious?

Michelle Dyck weighed in with: Some of that repetition you may not need at all. Only a few mentions of a pounding heart, burning lungs, or aching calves may be all you need to immerse the reader in the chase scene. Of course, you want to put in enough of that kind of detail so that the reader doesn’t forget what the character is feeling… Stuff like ‘her heart was pounding’ is, unfortunately, used a lot. (I’ll admit I use it too!) But if you can, at key moments, find a new way to say it — delightful! Maybe liken that pounding heart to a thrashing animal trying to get out. Or instead of saying that her lungs are burning, write that they’re straining, expanding, hungry for air. Just so you know, you’re not alone in this! Repetitious scenes are tricky, and I’m sure most of us have had trouble with them before. 🙂 Hope this helps!

And I pointed out that I’d written a related post, which anyof you can find by clicking on the “showing feelings” label.

I like Michelle Dyck’s idea of using metaphor to get to the feeling in an interesting way. As our MC runs she can become in her mind a hunted creature, and she can describe herself as one, a mouse, a rabbit, even a cockroach.

So how can we achieve variety in a scene with repetitive action, particularly a chase? What do we have to work with?

• Feelings. This is where the pounding heart comes in and the other physical manifestations Michelle Dyck mentions. My old post may come in handy here for more ideas. If our MC happens to be nonhuman or more than human there may be other feelings we can mention. For example, if she happens to be super empathic, we can use that. Does it make her legs tremble as she runs? Is her mind clouded? Or maybe she’s not human and her skin color changes when she’s scared.

• Senses. Her can be heightened. She’s more than usually aware of shadows. Her hearing is unusually sharp; her panting sounds explosive, but she still hears pebbles rattling behind her. She smells the slightest odors on the wind.

• Thoughts. What might our MC be thinking? Maybe about where to go next, what to do next, why her pursuer is after her, how to stop him, what she can use to fight him. We can reflect the desperation of a chase in rushed thoughts or thought fragments, because this isn’t the time for her to think in complete paragraphs. If she’s telepathic, her thoughts may be muddled with the thoughts of her pursuer.

• Speech. When I’m scared I talk to myself out loud. She can do this too. She can have a running internal conversation going that she may not even be conscious of. She can give herself directions, like, “Faster. Faster. Don’t give up. You can do it. Do it.” And so on. It doesn’t occur to her that she’s wasting energy by talking.

• Appearance. She can give us hints of this in her thoughts: that her lip is bleeding, her scarf is streaming out behind her and what if it catches on something, her jacket is torn, people are staring.

We can also mix things up by having her think she’s gotten away. She’s run into an alley and is crouching behind a dumpster, wondering how long she has to stay there before it’s safe to leave. Her thoughts and her breathing slow down. She thinks about telling the story of her great escape to her friends when she hears the pebbles again, and she’s off, running.

She can appeal for aid from a stranger or from someone she knows. Another character will introduce new interest. Can the new character be trusted? Is she well-meaning but useless? Does she just happen to be on the scene, or for good or ill, is she there for some reason that’s connected to the chase?

It’s also nice if we can vary the transportation she uses in her attempt to get away. She can commandeer a bike, get on a bus, jump into the back of a truck, launch herself in a rowboat or even swim. All these will mix it up, and they can introduce new problems. Whose bike is it? If the pursuer gets on the bus, too, she’s in an enclosed space with him. A rowboat isn’t exactly a fast getaway vehicle. And so on.

The setting of a chase can lend interest, too. If our MC is running across a vast prairie, we’re going to have to work to break things up, maybe with a haystack, a grain silo, an irrigation ditch – not a lot. But put her in a mall, for example, and the opportunities multiply. Of course, we may not want to give her a lot of options. We may want her to run until she collapses.

Here are four prompts:

• Your MC, Holly Run-Lightly, is being pursued by your villain’s private security squad. Include three modes of transportation in your chase, one of which can be running. Write the scene. If you like, write the circumstances that led to the chase and the story that follows.

• Holly is being chased at a roller skating rink. She doesn’t have time to unlace her skates. Write the scene.

• Mary is trying to get away from the lamb who follows her everywhere. Write the chase.

• Tell Alice’s pursuit of the White Rabbit from his POV.

Have fun, and save what you write!

50 Responses on “Pursuing chase variety”

  2. Jennaral Lee says:

    Much as I'll miss having a new post every week, I agree that posting every other week sounds to me like the best of the three options. I think I personally would prefer that to weekly half posts, or short posts.
    Good luck! Poetry school sounds interesting!
    Thanks for the post! I love how many different ideas for varying it you came up with!

  3. Martin Longshanks says:

    Any of the three options seem like they could work, but posting every other week seems like the most practical option for your situation. Having just gotten into this blog, I'm sad I won't be getting to read new posts every week, but I suppose the extra week wait won't kill me, haha. 🙂 Good luck in the poetry education! It will be an adventure, I'm sure.

  4. Martin Longshanks says:

    OH! Also this: I was reading your post from a couple weeks ago called "Who's Telling?" and I posted a comment seeking some advice on a POV switch. I was informed by another reader that the old posts aren't checked much, so I'm going to re-post my comment below. Any and all input is greatly appreciated!

    "This is a great read on the problems and solutions regarding POV. I know in my own writing, POV is one of the hardest things for me to use effectively… in fact I'm having trouble right now and need some help!
    A while back I wrote a short story about an extraordinary man. The whole story was narrated by a young person who met and observed this extraordinary man. The problem I've run into now is that I wish to expand upon this story and write about the extraordinary man quite a bit more, but I don't want to take the original narrator along for the ride! Somehow I need to switch the POV from the young observer to the man himself. Any ideas as to how I could do that most smoothly?"

    • gailcarsonlevine says:

      I'd suggest you just write from the man's POV. When you finish the story, you'll know whether the boy's part should be a prologue or should be rewritten from the man's POV, or if you find as you go along that you need to go back to the boy's voice now and then.

    • Jennaral Lee says:

      Here's another suggestion: if there are going to be several times in the story where a new character meets M.L., you could start the book with your short story, from the original narrator's POV, then switch to M.L.'s, and every once in a while put in a chapter kind of like the first, with one of the new characters as a narrator. This might possibly allow you to preserve your original conceptions about the short story/first chapter, but even if not, we still get another character(s)'s impressions of M.L. If the entire story was from his POV, we might not get to see everything that's unusual about him. 😉

  5. Julie says:

    Congratulations on going back to school! It sounds like it will be an amazing experience for you. I'm in graduate school now, and the workload can be overwhelming. I like the idea of a short post every week, but honestly whatever fits in your schedule best is fine by me!

  6. NoelleWeiß says:

    Congrats on going back to school! I think every other week sounds like the most convenient thing to do.
    Also your character Holly Run-Lightly made me laugh out loud. My mom is a huge Audrey Hepburn fan and so I've seen a ton of her movies. Once I read it, I had to stop for a second and re-read it to see if you had really just said that.
    Your posts are the best :]

  8. MistyBen says:

    You're going to have a blast in school! I would get a second masters if I could. In my selfish opinion, I'd like to see one post divided over two weeks. I'm so used to my Wednesday blog read! That's my preference but do what is best for you.

  11. Bug says:

    YOU ARE GOING TO DO AMAZING, MRS. LEVINE!!! WAY TO GO!!!

    I think every other week would be best, but I'll miss the every Wednesday. But I'm really happy for you! (Please refer to first two sentences. It might look a little weird if I repeated them. 🙂

  12. Melissa says:

    Oh I hope you enjoy school! Does that mean you're planning a new poetry book? I know I will personally also have trouble keeping up just reading every week when everything starts up again so I think every other will do just fine. The second could work too since they'd be half as long. Thanks for thinking about us!

  13. Jennaral Lee says:

    Just noticed something interesting: I just read the sixth Kingdom Keepers book, DARK PASSAGE, by Ridley Pearson. It has several chase scenes (typical Pearson); one incorporates a water slide, and another, zip lines. I probably wouldn't even have thought about the unusual variation if not for this post! 🙂
    By the way, for anyone who is reading the KK series, the sixth one is WAY, WAY, WAY better than the fifth one. The fifth one was a major letdown, I thought, but this one is good. Just thought I'd mention that! 🙂

  14. gailcarsonlevine says:

    This came in to the website. Any ideas?

    Mrs. Levine –
    When I'm writing, I can't seem to make my MC believable. My other characters all have memorable qualities, voices, and such (or I hope so, anyway), but I can't seem to find my MC's voice! Any suggestions on making her more memorable?

    Rebekah

    • Bug says:

      I may be misunderstanding a little, but when I had trouble with this, I switched the POV (not for the whole book) and wrote a scene from one of my minor character's eyes. I then discovered what I had not realized about my main Character-he was a lot more sarcastic then I had thought, he was funny, etc.
      Hope this helps!

  15. Aethelwyne says:

    I have won a prize for writing in my area! So happy! Don't know if I won 1, 2, 3 or am one of the 6 runners up but I am still very happy! If I receive publication of any kind I will write it here, it says I most likely will in the small print!

    Anyway, I think you should do a short post every week, and maybe every-so-often or around every month do a longer one? I don't know, just a thought… You could do something like part of a lesson, other than answering questions, it might be easier? I dont know. Good luck at school!

  16. Natalie says:

    Congratulations on pursuing your master's degree! That is so exciting!
    I like all three of those options for the blog, but the two I like best are the first and second ones. Thank you for deciding to keep your blog going despite this big change to your schedule. I have greatly benefited from your writing advice over the past couple years, and I am so glad that you will continue offering it. Good luck in school, Ms. Levine!

  17. Bug says:

    The Two Princesses of Bamarre was going to be off The Twelve Dancing Princesses, and there were more than two princesses, right? Was it hard to cut the other princess(s) out?

    • gailcarsonlevine says:

      Originally there were going to be three princesses. In the first sentence I said that the other nine never existed, that the number of sisters had been multiplied by a hall of mirrors. So it was easy. Twelve main characters are too many for me!

    • Bug says:

      Tell me about it!

      By the way, Mrs. Levine, I want to thank you–I was reading one of your fairy tale posts, the one where you have us write questions about the twelve dancing Princesses. I did it, because I am writing a TDP story. And i figured out (FINALLY) why the Princesses went to dance! So, thank you! I really appreciate you taking time to help us!

  18. Aethelwyne says:

    Mrs. Levine
    I am a HUGE fan of the King Arthur legends, but as there is so much material on it these days and I am sure I could not do justice, I was wondering if you would have any ideas on how to write something like it? This is an idea I have been reworking on the side for around 6 months now and I have become focused on it.
    Any help?

  19. gailcarsonlevine says:

    I say, fearing that you won't do justice to anything is likely to freeze you in your boots. Who's to say what justice would be? I suggest you tackle the story anyway, and let others decide the justice question. If the range of the story is too broad, how about picking a small corner of it that fascinates you and expanding on that?

    Anyone else have suggestions?

    • Bibliophile says:

      Personally, I think you should pick a very obscure King Arthur legend, and NOT make it King Arthur. That is, Don't like, use the traditional knight names, or King Arthur as himself. You know? Because, once you label something 'King Arthur' then people expect the whole saga, not just a snippet. Personally, that would be overwhelming. I've thought of doing that myself so I'm glad I'm not the only one.

      One other word of advice I would give you is to NOT do a reincarnation of Arthur. I think that that is one of the most overdone, and when I've seen it, poorly done Arthur things. Also, keep in mind copyright. I know that BBC and Disney have some Arthur stuff that is fairly recent, so just be carefull.

      Reading this through I realized that I've given more don'ts than dos, but I hope this helps anyway.

    • Aethelwyne says:

      Good idea! I think I might fictonilize the character and make them my own so I can do what I want with them, e.g. not have Guinevere and Lancelot go off together, Arthur die, etc.

  20. Elsabet says:

    Does anyone have any advice for mysteries, I have this idea that I hatched sometime last year, and it has been recently nagging at me. I love mysteries, and I think I could pull one off, but before I tackle this, does anyone have any suggestions or helpful tidbits of advice or warning? I'll be grateful for all and any help. Thanks!

  21. Athira Abraham says:

    I'm soooooo excited!!! I had recently finished working on a short fairy tale retelling/adaptation (including editing- I'm at the final stage!). I was contacted by a publishing company that said if I decided to work with them, they will guarantee publishing my story!!!

    This company had a package that included: copyright for my story, cover design, my story will be in print FOREVER, will be available on Amazon, Barnes & Nobles, Indigo Chapters, and sooooo many more sites. There were soo many things that were included I can't remember them off the top of my head.

    I especially liked how they were really enthusiastic about publishing my story, even though they haven't read it yet, and I haven't sent a manuscript to them, but they know it is a short fairy tale retelling.

    My only concern was the payment. This is my first time trying to publish a story, so I'm not sure if I can get a better deal. They said my Payment Plan was to pay 3 payments to them, each payment from around $200- $270, the total being around $600. Is this an average rate people are offered when a company offers to publish their book, or is it generally cheaper?

    I'd extremely appreciate any tips, advice, or suggestions!!!!!

    • Agnes says:

      Not to burst your bubble, but YOU have to pay THEM?
      I know there's a rule that people often quote here that says, "Money flows TO the author". Unless you self publish you should never have to pay for your book to be published. Okay, I have never had anything published, but I have picked up a LOT around here, and in my opinion you're being scammed.
      Look them up (on a trustworthy site or in a library book)and see if you find anything about them, make sure you haven't given them any personal information, and definitely don't give them any money!
      I hope you get another chance to be published!

    • Michelle Dyck says:

      To my understanding, if it's a traditional publishing house, they'll pay you (like Agnes said). If it's a self-publisher, you pay them to publish your book. I'd be careful either way. 🙂 But if it all turns out to be fine, then congrats! That's awesome!!

    • Athira Abraham says:

      Oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot to mention that its a self-publishing supporting company! So then I guess, I do have to pay them.

      But to anyone who is familiar with self publishing supporting companies: would what I mentioned above be the average rate you have to pay the company?

      And Agnes and Michelle Dyck, thank you for letting me know what I was saying wrong!

    • Michelle Dyck says:

      My pleasure, Athira. 🙂
      Well, I'm not an expert on publishing, but I'd suggest asking if that's the total price you'll be paying. I'm in the process of self-publishing my book too, and the price I paid to have my book published was/is not the final price. There are additional (optional) services I'm paying for. Some of the things this self-publisher offers are editing, additional cover design packages, additional marketing packages, etc. So it's possible that the $600 they're asking you to pay is not the final price; there may be other services you'd want or need to pay for.
      Hope this helps!

    • gailcarsonlevine says:

      I agree about proceeding with caution. I think you should read up about self-publishing before you enter into any deal. I suggest you find out about other authors this company has published and what sort of success they've had – and find it out through sources other than this publisher. People do have success with self-publishing, but when they do, they do most of the hard work of promoting their books on their own.

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