Copy cat!

On May 8, 2013, Elisa wrote, I need help, I have a problem with my voice. My writing voice, that is. I’m a copy-cat. If I’ve recently read a book, say, by Shannon Hale, and then I go to write on my story, I find that my writing style is a lot like hers. If I haven’t read anything recently and have started writing, my writing is really bland. I do actually have my own “voice,” it’s quick, sarcastic and quite funny. (Think Patrick McManus, only, slightly less hysterical.) My problem is, I write a lot of serious stuff, and I’m not sure I like my “voice” very well for that type of tale. And, also, I can only slip into my “voice” every once in a while. I’ll come up with one thing, (say: “Atomic just doesn’t fit those cinnamon jawbreakers. No sir, Atomic just doesn’t do them justice.” Excerpt from one of my “try-out” stories, called “Ode to Atomic Fireballs.”) and then I come up with a whole string of them and mold them into a story. My problem is this “Voice” strikes at the oddest times, very rarely while I’m in a position to write stuff down and it never lasts long. In my “Ode to Atomic Fireballs”, my “voice” died out right before I finished the story (It is maybe two pages long) so the end didn’t quite fit. I have a problem and I don’t know how to solve it. Can anyone help?

I’ve said this before on the blog. Being able to imitate other writers is good. The ability proves that you’re impressionable. What you’re reading is permeating you, becoming part of you. Someone else’s style may pour out sometimes when it’s not wanted, but that’s a minor problem, easily fixed in revision. The great benefit is that you’re assimilating myriad ways of expression, which, once you’ve mulched them down, will flow out in interesting, flexible writing. This is cause for celebration.

Let’s look at the beginning of Elisa’s question, which seems to me to be written in a distinctive voice that isn’t sarcastic or especially funny. Here it is again: I need help, I have a problem with my voice. My writing voice, that is. I’m a copy-cat. If I’ve recently read a book, say, by Shannon Hale, and then I go to write on my story, I find that my writing style is a lot like hers. If I haven’t read anything recently and have started writing, my writing is really bland.

Do you see it, too?

The strength of the voice is in the short, snappy sentences at the beginning, followed by two longer sentences and repetition of the word If starting the last two. Plus, the term copy-cat has power. Elisa, I don’t know if you thought about voice when you wrote the question, but it’s there, and it isn’t bland.

If you want more of the quick, sarcastic, funny voice, which you liken to Patrick McManus’s, I’d suggest you study his writing. How does he get his effects? I’ve never read any of his books, but I googled him and then I checked out his writing using the search-this-book function on Amazon. He reminded me a little of Mark Twain, a high compliment. Anyway, he seems to pack a lot of his humor into his verbs, so I’d look at them in particular. Then try writing with him in mind, imitating on purpose. The goal is to have the funny voice always available to you.

Mostly when I’m writing fiction, I’m not concentrating on voice. I’m focusing on my characters and what they’re thinking and feeling, which will lead them to act or to speak. Basically I’m trying to get out of the way so my story can tell itself. I want my readers to lose themselves and not to be pulled out of the narrative by the antics of my voice.

Same thing when I’m writing this blog. I want you to be concentrating on the meat of what I’m saying, not on my language.

I do think about smooth and lively writing, decent writing – about varying the lengths of my sentences, about not starting more than two sentences or two paragraphs in a row with the same word, about not repeating sentence structure, one sentence after another. An example is a string of sentences that are two independent clauses connected by and. Another example is a succession of sentences that also have two independent clauses connected by but. In the first case, I’ll break some of the sentences into two shorter ones. In the second, I’ll sometimes start with Although. Or I’ll use however, just to avoid monotony.

And since I’ve been writing poetry, I’ve become more aware of the sound of my words, like more and aware have the same ending sounds. I could have written more alert to instead of more aware of, but I like the similar sounds. I often go for alliteration when I can. But I never sacrifice clarity for euphony. Clarity trumps everything else.

When I deliberately create voice, I’m generally writing dialogue. For example, Masteress Meenore, the dragon detective in A Tale of Two Castles and Stolen Magic, peppers ITs sentences with fifty dollar words. There’s also a cadence to ITs speech that I fall into. The ogre, Count Jonty Um, says little, and what he does say, he expresses economically. When I’m writing his speech, I trim away any unnecessary words. His vocabulary is excellent, and he’s by no means stupid, so I may throw in a big word here and there. But not many words anywhere.

I don’t mean to suggest that there’s anything wrong with a quick, sarcastic, funny voice. I just don’t think you should strain for it. My guess is that it pops out when it’s needed. And the less noticeable voice (not bland!) may be what’s needed to push your story to the fore.

Here are four prompts:

• As I suggested to Eliza above, try imitation on purpose. Read a page or two of a book you love. Analyze it if that’s helpful. What is this writer doing? Long sentences? Short ones? Paragraph length? What is the tone? Action-packed? Reflective? Funny? Now, go to a story you’re working on. Rewrite a page in that voice.

• Do the same with another writer.

• Do the same, if you haven’t already, with an author who wrote at least fifty years ago. A hundred years ago. Out of curiosity, I once compared Jane Austen’s style with Charlotte Bronte’s, whose work came later. In particular, I wondered which one used longer sentences. The answer surprised me. Check it out!

• Retell a fairy tale, concentrating on varying your sentences and paying attention to the sounds of your words. Work in assonance, alliteration, repeat end sounds. Include dialogue. Give Snow White, for example, a different way of expressing herself from the evil queen, the hunter, a dwarf.

Have fun, and save what you write!

31 Responses on “Copy cat!”

  1. Bibliophile says:

    Elisa, so you have a funny voice but want to write serious fiction right? Right. So, what's wrong with writing satires? One of my fave go-to-because-I-can't-think-of-anything-else-to-read authors is P. G. Wodehouse. He writes humorous short stories similar to your "Ode to Fire Balls". One of them in particular was the story of a man who was addicted to ice cream sodas that was 'saved' by his girlfriend and she got him on alcohol!!
    Things like that are easy and pleasing to read. So if you DO want to write serious stuff, read Bronte, Hugo, Scott and similar writers.

    DO NOT READ DICKENS IF YOU WANT TO BE SERIOUS, HE WAS LIKE THE ENGLISH MARK TWAIN!!!!! Unless it's Tale of Two Cities.

    • Elisa says:

      Thanks Bibliophile, I'll look the guy up. I don't especially want to write "serious" stuff, but my stories tend to have serriousish plots. Things like death and pain and lying and blackmail, etc. etc. mold and form my plots. So I have to work with and around that. I'm doing somewhat better now, thank goodness. Thanks a million for your support!

  2. Kendyl Bostic says:

    Thanks for this post, I've been having trouble with my voice too. I've done previous stories from a character's voice that is very distinctive, but in my current story, I keep worrying about my voice because it seems so different from anything I've done in the past. This was helpful and I can't wait to try the prompts.

  3. Audrey says:

    One way that I tap into my "voice" is I spend a few minutes writing about myself, like a journal entry, before I jump into my story. This allows me to write whatever I want without having to be burdened down by a character–her wants, desires, fears, etc. Instead, I'm forced to write about my OWN wants, fears, and problems in my own voice.

  4. Tiki Armsford says:

    One of the scenarios that I have the hardest time writing is chase scenes, particularly the ones where there are a lot of running. There are only so many times I can write, 'her heart was pounding' before it gets repetitive (usually once). Do you have any advice to help people from getting into this rut? Any words on writing scenes that could easily get repetitious?

    • Michelle Dyck says:

      Some of that repetition you may not need at all. Only a few mentions of a pounding heart, burning lungs, or aching calves may be all you need to immerse the reader in the chase scene.
      Of course, you want to put in enough of that kind of detail so that the reader doesn't forget what the character is feeling…
      Stuff like 'her heart was pounding' is, unfortunately, used a lot. (I'll admit I use it too!) But if you can, at key moments, find a new way to say it — delightful! Maybe liken that pounding heart to a thrashing animal trying to get out. Or instead of saying that her lungs are burning, write that they're straining, expanding, hungry for air.
      Just so you know, you're not alone in this! Repetitious scenes are tricky, and I'm sure most of us have had trouble with them before. 🙂 Hope this helps!

    • Elisa says:

      I try not to write too many scenes using the words "Her heart was pounding" as to me, it is a little clichéd and illogical. Your heart is always pounding or thumping, or pumping so I try to steer clear of those. I also don't like burning lungs. I just re-read one of my chase scenes, in which the MC was actually riding a horse, which is a little different from running, but still, you get the fear, and the hurting lungs. I try to make up my own speecherisms. So instead of burning lungs, I said "Khina took a deep breath of stinging air to steady herself." No burning lungs, but you get the same idea. She's having a hard time breathing, if it stings, and she'd probably going pretty fast. I also did this in another story where the MC is also escaping "It felt like I swallowed a live coal, my breath caught and stung and my sides ached with a searing pain. My heart beat heavily against my ribs, pumping blood that was like liquid fire in my veins and my feet were so numb from running that they felt no pain as I ran across sharp stones and dry grass." See, no burning lungs or pounding heart. I use a ton of synonyms when I write, to avoid clichés, and that's what I get. Try coming up with something like what I did, but instead of using "burning" and "pounding" and "aching" (I cheated a little, I did use aching) try finding a really cool, really descriptive synonym. Hope I helped.

    • Elisa says:

      Also, I find listening to music really helps me with my writing. For sad scenes, I listen to certain songs by Enya, Michele McLaughlin, Brian Crain, and Helen Jane Long, and when I'm writing tense scenes, (like escapes) I listen to Adiemus (Especially this one song called Saint Declan's Drone)The Piano Guys (That is the name of a certain group of musicians, their music is AWESOME) and more Enya and this one song called Urgency, which is also by Helen Jane Long. I have playlists on YouTube for the different types of music. Maybe this could help you too?

  5. Aspire to inspire says:

    Mrs Levine/ other blog readers
    Do you ever write actual Fairy tales themselves, or at least short stories?
    I find it harder to bring my voice through in those, although I get the odd one which is really easy. But the problem I really have with them is repeating myself and not making it too stop starty and halty.

    How can I stop this?

    Also my novel has reached 13,000 words and I am trying to introduce a few new characters, who were in the plan but they just won't fit in.

    Any help???

    • Xmay says:

      Is there anyway you can change the characters/the way you originally had them introduced to fit better into the plot? Are they necessary characters-do you really need them in the plot?
      Also, instead of rewriting you could go back and mention their names a couple times in early chapters related to whichever character(s) you have already introduced. Now, when you introduce them, the readers will already have an idea of who they are.
      I don't know if this helps at all….and I don't have any advice for the fairy tale writing as I have never attempted that-just re-writing fairy tales.
      Best of Luck!

    • Athira Abraham says:

      If your fairy tale is a modern retelling, the voice of the POV character can be spunky or sassy, sarcastic, brave, bold, daring, OR sweet-tempered, honest, shy etc.

      Now for the repetition, you can think of it as a speech mannerism. In Mrs. Levine's book, A TALE OF TWO CASTLES, Elodie has a speech mannerism where she says the phrase "Lambs and calves!" when she is surprised. But if you find that it's one word continuously popping throughout your writing, try substituting it with a synonym.

      Hope this helps!

    • Aspire to inspire says:

      And with the fairy tale writing, I am writing them in fairy tale style, but not such a fairy tale setting, I mean the plot isn't classical fairy tale. The pretty one turns out to be evil. The jealous sisters are envying the pretty one but the evil one envying them because they are kinder than her, etc.
      I am not rewriting fairy tales exactly, but some of them are very loo sly based on fairy tales, wheres the characters may be similar but the story tweaked or completely different.

    • Bug says:

      The thing about Fairytales is that they are extremely simplistic (random note: The Wizard of Oz is called the first truly original american fairytale, since it's so simplistic), which obviously makes it hard to have voice. That's usually the problem I have with trying to write fairytales: I usually mimic the fairytales I have read.

      Do you need the characters? If your story is different than the outline, you might consider not using them.

  7. Michelle Dyck says:

    Mrs. Levine, thank you so much for this post! It peeled away some layers of mystery surrounding the idea of voice (at least for me). I've sometimes worried about my voice, but what you wrote here is reassuring. Thanks again!

  8. Bibliophile says:

    Just had a brilliant thought… The best example of voice I can think of off the top of my head is in Rick Riordan's Heroes of Olympus series. He switches Povs every couple chapters, but I can always tell which character is 'telling' me the story. For instance, when Leo is in charge, the style is a bit more humorous than say, when the responsible Jason is talking. And yet, even though they cover the two extremes of that trait, I can always tell when Piper is talking.

    • Athira Abraham says:

      I totally agree. You can even tell in the second book with the 3 new narrators: Percy, Hazel, and Frank.
      And also, if you are switching narrators at every chapter and you are writing in 3rd person POV, you can use the name of the POV character in the first sentence so the reader can distinguish the characters.
      E.g Ruby wondered if her day could get any worse.
      OR
      Alistair made a wish and blew out the candles

  9. Michelle says:

    Mrs. Levine, in Writing Magic, you said that in a story, you can't begin using subjects before you have introduced them. The example you gave was of a boy delivering a message on a foreign planet. He gets attacked by wulffs, and that's interesting, but the author hasn't mentioned wulffs until then. This is the problem I have. I have a complicated story, and it contains a lot of legends. There are three different trials that my character has to pass through, and each one requires a legend to explain it since it is so complex. How do I slip all of that information in before the trials come up while still being subtle?
    Advice from anyone else is also more than welcome.

    • Athira Abraham says:

      I remember that example!!!
      Mrs. Levine had also mentioned to try slip something about that earlier in the story. So for the wulffs, maybe his best friend had a scar from them.

      For your story, maybe you can have the legends being mentioned in a book your character might have been reading, or if he/she was in a library, maybe the librarian was caught reading something about it.
      Or if this is top secret information (the legends) you can have your character eavesdrop or overhear two people that are important to these trials talking about it. Then you can have your character recall them speaking, and racking his/her brain trying to remember what the two people were saying and eventually remember.

      I hope I helped! And good luck with your writing!

    • Michelle says:

      Thank you. Those are all great ideas. I like the idea of having my character eavesdrop and hear the information. Only the enemies know about it in the beginning, so maybe she will hear two spies, without realizing that they are spies. I have already tried the idea of her reading a book; the only problem is that there's so much to every legend that it doesn't seem right to have it all come from a book. Thanks for the ideas, though. I will definitely give them some thoughts. They helped a lot!

    • Bibliophile says:

      What if you have the legends written in the beginning of the book like in The Two Princesses of Bammare? That way you can refer back to them as need be. Your character may have spent some time in the enemy camp as a prisoner or something and heard them that way. Would it THAT horrible if the tales were common knowledge though, it seems to me that that might reduce the magnitude of the problem considerably.

    • Michelle says:

      Those are good ideas. You know, now that you put it that way, I agree that the legends could be common knowledge. I'll just have to tweak the story a bit. I like the idea of having them at the beginning like in The Two Princesses of Bamarre.
      Thank you both for all the help! I think I actually have an idea now.
      But I'll still love to hear Mrs. Levine's thoughts on the subject. 🙂
      Thank you!

  10. Elisa says:

    Sorry I haven't commented sooner, but for the better part of this week I've been with my family with an aunt and have had no computer access. Thanks Mrs. Levine for answering my question! I'd been having something of a bad day, and when I saw it was my question you were answering *ZAP* instant happiness! THANKS A LOT!

  11. Bug says:

    Thank you for this post! When my voice gets off my whole story just seems to flop, so this was really helpful! Thank you!!! (Again, I am that thankful…:)

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