R trouble

When one of my books is published in another country, I’m sent a copy or two, and I always enjoy seeing how my story is represented on the cover. Last week the Turkish edition (translated into Turkish) of Ella Enchanted came in the mail, with a fetching cover, which I asked my husband to put on the website. You can see it and other foreign editions of Ella if you click on this link: http://www.gailcarsonlevine.com/ella_oth.html. They’re not for sale. I don’t know how you’d purchase them if you happened to be interested.

On to the post, and this week I’m letting you do a lot of the work because there were so many comments when this question came from unsocialized homeschooler on May 8, 2013: I’m writing a story right now, and one of the characters has a speech impediment. The character often drops his “Rs” and pronounces them wrong. I read online that an author should never write out accents or quirks in the character’s speech, and that it’s distracting, hard to follow, and generally doesn’t work. The author of the article that talked about this said that mentioning it a few times will do the trick, but I’m not sure. What does everyone here think about writing out things like that? Is it annoying? Should it not be done? Does it make it easier to hear the character in your mind if it’s written out, or is mentioning it a few times enough?

In response, Michelle Dyck wrote, I’d find it annoying if it was overdone or simply hard to read. But I have read several books where I thoroughly enjoyed the accents the author wrote out:
-A mystery series set in London in the 1800’s, where the lower-class people dropped their Hs. (For example, “Mr. Astley set ‘er out on ‘er ear, ‘e did.”)
-And a series set in the South during the Civil War, in which the slaves’ speech was written out exactly how they’d sound. (It’s been a while since I read those, so I don’t have any examples.)
I’ve also read a book where a character was Irish or Scottish, and whenever he said “you”, it was written “yu.” It took me a while to figure out that it was supposed to be pronounced with a short u, not a long u, but once I did, I think I could hear his accent better.


Anyway, I’m not sure about just mentioning it a few times. I think I’d wonder why a character started out talking differently, then began speaking normally. I’d probably consider it a mistake on the author’s part.

And carpelibris wrote, I’m from the “Use dialect like hot pepper” school of thought. Put in a dash where it’s needed, but don’t overdo it.

And Elisa wrote, I don’t especially like lots and lots of funnily spelled words. You might mention it a couple times, or something, but don’t over do it. If he has a speech impediment, don’t make him talk a whole lot. If he can’t talk correctly, then have him be sort of embarrassed about it, and try his hardest not to say anything with R’s in it. Or every now and then do this: “It was red, really bright red.” he said. (Only it sounded like he said: It was led, eally blight led.) and put the pronunciations in brackets. I do that with one of my lisping characters. I’m not sure if people find that annoying, but I don’t do it that often; maybe once every three chapters or so, just to remind everyone.

And writeforfun wrote, I have a character in my books who can’t pronounce s’s properly, and I read the “mention it a few times” advice before I wrote it, so that is what I did. I discovered, however, that before long, even I forgot that he had a lisp! I’m still trying to figure out just how to fix it, so I appreciate these comments, too!

Finally, Rosjin wrote, An author I enjoy, Brian Jacques, had a habit of giving his characters very distinct (and sometimes heavy) accents. At first, I couldn’t understand a word one group was saying, but it was really fun to read. After the first book, it was much easier. I love them. It’s so fun to try and read them out loud, or listen to the audio books to see how they sound.


The only drawback is that some people end up skipping the heavily accented dialogue. They never learn to read it, and may end up putting the book down.


I say a balance is needed. I probably wouldn’t write accents as heavily as Mr. Jacques, but I would want it to be present. If a character has a lisp, I think you should write his dialogue with a lisp. If it seems a little overdone when you’re finished, then smooth out a few parts.

Here, played out on the blog, is one of the delights of being in a writing group. Members’ perspectives vary, and that variety broadens our choices. If people disagree, maybe we don’t get clarity, but we get complexity and freedom.

When I was starting out, the advice I got from teachers and read in books was to use dialects, accents, and speech oddities sparingly, as carpelibris suggests. I’m still in that camp. In Ever, for example, the gods and people of Akka pronounce their p’s as b’s. Here’s how I introduce it:

“Pardon me.”  He has an accent.  His p sounds like a b.  Bardon me.  I don’t know anyone who speaks with an accent.

And that’s it in the beginning. I don’t care much if the reader remembers the accent. My purpose was twofold: to set the two civilizations apart, the city-state of Hite and rural Akka; and to show how sheltered Kezi is.

Later in the book I remind the reader of the accent when Kezi meets another Akkan god:

“I… am… Puru…  I’ve come to help you find your destiny.”
His accent is the same as Olus’s.  I hear Buru and helb.

Puru has another speech peculiarity, slow speech. Here’s where I introduce it, in a scene from the POV of the Akkan god Olus:

When he speaks no constant breath pushes his words, so he stops after each one.  “Olus… will–”
“Hush, Puru,” Hannu says, frowning.
“He’s too young to hear about his fate,” Arduk adds.
Puru says, “Olus… will… have… no happiness until he gains what he cannot keep.”

Notice that I put ellipses (dots) between the each of the first few words in his sentences but then I stop. I tried putting them everywhere, but it was irritating to read, even for me.

So one way to remind the reader of a character’s unusual speech without constantly reproducing it is to have him meet someone new, as when Puru meets Kezi. The new acquaintance may ask him to repeat himself or may simply not understand. The situation can turn funny if the mispronounced word sounds like a different word. My husband and I once saw an example of this in print, because of the problem that Chinese and Japanese speakers sometimes have with the letter r. (I may have told this before on the blog. Forgive me!) We were in Chinatown in New York City and saw a billboard for a movie. The title was there in Chinese characters along with the English translation: Love on a Foggy Liver!!!

Almost anything can be a tool for character development, and a speech peculiarity can be, too. Elisa suggested something along these lines. Let’s give a name to our character who has trouble with his r’s – let’s call him Marc. He’s teased about it when he’s little, and as a result he becomes a quieter person as he grows up. More self-conscious, too, and less spontaneous. He rarely bursts out with speech because he’s always thinking ahead to where the r’s may come up and looking for synonyms.

Pamela, on the other hand, could go the other way. She doesn’t mind the way she sounds. In fact, she exaggerates it. Or Theo doesn’t like his r’s, so he becomes obsessive about overcoming them. The first money he earns he spends on speech therapy, then on a voice coach. He develops a news anchor voice, deep, rich, unaccented, perfect on his r’s, except that on occasion, under stress, all his training evaporates.

Secondary characters can be revealed, too. Inez, not the nicest person in the world, delights in trapping Marc into saying words with r’s in them. In their Public Speaking class she gives her speech on speech impediments, and she delivers it directly at Marc. She tries this once on Pamela, but never again. However, she finds a way to trigger Theo’s funny r, and she takes great delight in doing it again and again.

Another secondary character, a kind one, can be revealed by her treatment of Marc, Pamela, and Theo. And we can get to know Theo’s speech therapist and his eccentric voice coach.

The odd r can become a plot element. The three journey together to a distant kingdom where the inhabitants have been waiting for three strangers who can’t say r. A native prophesy says that these strangers will discover how to open an ancient secret vault. In this case, with the r so important, I think we’d probably want to show it every time.

Here are three prompts:

• Write about the kingdom that expects three strangers and how our r-challenged heroes figure out how to open the vault and what turns out to be in it and what consequences follow.

• Write a scene that takes place on Marc’s sixteenth birthday. Show the kind of boy he’s grown up to be.

• Inez manages to make Theo think he loves her. Write their third date, during which all his speech training falls apart. If you like, he can triumph in the end.

Have fun, and save what you write!

38 Responses on “R trouble”

  2. Athira Abraham says:

    I have a problem. With the story I'm writing, I haven't created a plot but I want to because I don't want to be lost in my story. But at the same time, I don't want to create a plot because then I'll have no fun writing it and will get bored. But without no plot, I'll end up nowhere. Please help!

    • unsocialized homeschooler says:

      Athira, I have this problem a lot. Some of what would be my best stories disappear forever because each time I plan it out, it gets really boring.
      First, are you sure that if you don't create a plot you'll end up nowhere? Sometimes the best plots and stories come together when you just wander around in the wilderness of your story for a bit. Maybe you should try writing it freestyle with no idea where the story is going, and see where it takes you. Because, if plotting out a novel makes it boring to write, why do it? (Okay, I realize that logic isn't very sound, and there are hundreds of authors who will tell you that you have to be bored with your writing for a while to finish it–But that seems a little pointless and ridiculous. Write because writing is enjoyable, fun, creative, and all that good stuff!)Hopefully this comment makes sense and good luck!

    • Caitlyn Hair says:

      I plot my story in segments. Maybe that would work? The one time I tried plotting out the whole thing I ended up so far off my outline that I had to redo it anyway.
      I usually do three big chunks: beginning, middle, and end. I usually go off my outline by the time I get through those too, but not as badly. By outlining a little at a time I can incorporate the ideas I come up with while I write and not stress about it not fitting in to my plan.

    • Elisa says:

      Athira, do you have a favorite scene? In one of my stories-to-be I created a random scene where my heroine completely neglects the guy who traveled across two countries and 892 hundred miles to beg for her hand and leaves him living in a tent outside of her moat. I built a story from that. What I picked up is that she was independent and head-strong, also a little mean. Figure out your characters, then make more scenes. Do this, and then figure out how to link the scenes together. That's how I set up plots for my stories. If you're basing it on a fairy tale or something, it's easier, because the plot's already laid out. Hope this helps.

    • Jenalyn Barton says:

      I have two suggestions. My first is to just go with it, see where it takes you. Then, when you've finished it and know where it ends, go back and rework it so that your plot better fits where you've ended up. This way of writing is fun, because something that starts out as random may become a major plot point.

      My other suggestion is to take a look at your story idea and ask yourself, "Where do I want to go with this? Where do I want my hero(ine) to end up?" Once you've answered that, write your story, keeping your end in mind. This way you can have a game plan in mind without having to give up the fun of discovery writing, as Brandon Sanderson calls it. You'd be surprised at how flexible you can be even with some major points plotted out beforehand. But, when it comes down to it, it's really up to you and what you're comfortable with.

    • Emma says:

      Just write whatever you think of. Like, when I write, I skip around to whatever part of the story interests me. Sometimes I just think of a really good scene and write it with no idea of what's going on at the time, and then I take it from there by asking questions about the characters and why they do what they do, and just experimenting with whatever works. Sometimes it ends up totally different from what the original scene was, but just writing anything can help, even if you don't know where you're going.

  3. Inkling says:

    I love this post! My little cousin has CAS (Children's Apraxia of Speech), which causes her to have a lot of trouble blending sounds. For a while, I've considered writing a character that has CAS, or something with similar symptoms, and having her end up being a big hero in honor of my little cousin, but I've never known exactly how to do it. One thing I've considered is having the character pretend that she just can't talk, even though she can, because it embarrasses her.

    And I agree with Bibliophile, Mrs. Levine! The cover is gorgeous! I would like an English copy with that cover, since I can't read Turkish and my poor paperback copies of "Ella Enchanted" and "The Two Princesses of Bamarre" have almost been loved to pieces. My hardback copies of "Fairest" and "A Tale of Two Castles" have faired much better!

  4. Eliza says:

    I'm glad someone brought up Brian Jacques! He takes advantage of his characters' speech quirks by making it hard for them to understand each other. Sometimes other characters have to interpret. Here are two good examples from animated adaptions of his books. Fast forward to 7:40 on the second one.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0fYj4jFx1k
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPS0DWL-Kn8
    It's not just the "quirky" characters who have unique speech. Lord Badrang (blue cape) speaks formally because he's a lord, but he switches when addressing a pirate a 9:31.

  5. Elisa says:

    what are the titles of these books? I've heard of them once or twice, and they sound interesting. What are they about? (Just basic plot, my mom is sensitive about what I read.)

    • Eliza says:

      Was that a reply to my comment?
      The first clip is from Redwall. When an army of rats lays seige on the peace loving creatures of Redwall Abbey, Matthias seeks the sword of Martin the Warrior so he can save his home.
      Martin the Warrior is a prequel. Martin, Felldoh, and Brom are enslaved by Badrang the Tyrant. When Brom's sister Rose rescues them, she and Martin journey to find her home. Brom and Felldoh work to overthrow Badrang.
      Your mom should be okay with them. My dad read these to me when I was little. There are battles, but they're just animals and peace vs. war is always a main theme.

  6. unsocialized homeschooler says:

    Thanks for answering my question, Mrs Levine! It's an awesome post.
    I think, though, for my story, I'm going to write out all the quirks of my characters speech, and not care if the reader thinks it's annoying. I really want my character to have trouble saying his R/Er/any sound with R in it (like I do!) and I want it to be as prominent as possible. And since he doesn't really meet a lot of people (he lives on a spaceship) it might be hard to bring up more than once…

  7. Emma says:

    In a book I'm writing, I have a character who likes to use really big words. I can't even write conversations he's in without a thesaurus on hand. Like, to say "yes," he says “That constitutes the intended meaning of my remark.” A couple examples of other things he says are:
    “Indeed, you are factual in pronouncing that I articulated traditional terminology.”
    “To apprise her of the information germane to the noxiousness of her cherished intimate is a fatuous design.”
    “Our exigency prevails for the absence of a ruler of this crusade.”

    I always follow up with someone(usually his sister) rephrasing what he said, and almost no one can understand what he means most of the time, but I'm worried that it might bug people and be too confusing to readers even though I explain. What do you think?

  8. Elisa says:

    What if the accent you are trying to portray is REALLY hard to put onto paper. One of my characters has this accent that is something between and Irish accent, an African accent, a French accent, an Australian accent and an English low-life accent. How do I show my reader that? It's fairly complicated. My problem is that my accents can't be described with letters. The r's are pronounced something between a y and an l. And the v's are like y's and f's combined with the v itself. If that makes sense. (Which it probably doesn't.) Also, her country doesn't have c's in their language (and no H either), so she mispronounces it sort of like a guttural k. (Think of how a garbage disposal with a peach pit stuck in it sounds, and that's about it.) How do I do this, because the accent's completely part of her, and the way she talks is important to the plot. Help?

    • Elsabet says:

      I suppose you could slip in sayings and exclamations native to her own country. I mean, if I read, "Ach, Lassie, you've been out late" I'd think of that character, quite unconsciously as having a Scottish accent. Same with slang. There are different types, of slang for different countries and regions. Me, I'm a Coloradan, and we have no accent (Depending on who you talk to, I guess) but our pastor comes from New York, and he has a different accent and uses different slang from what I and my family use. If you slip in certain exclamations that look a certain way, and mention that, yes, she does have an accent then the readers will hear your character speaking with an accent. Make sense?

  9. Kenzi Anne says:

    So I have a question about riddles…I don't know about you guys, but I like to throw in a riddle sort of mystery into some of my books, like an a prophecy or enigmatic saying, but…I'm not very good at making them! I feel like it's either too easy to decipher so that the story's ending is too predictable, or otherwise the clues are too much of a stretch and won't make much sense. Any advice? 🙂

    • Elsabet says:

      I LOVE riddles!!! Read a book of poems maybe, read books of riddles. That helps me. I like to see how other people do things, and then I do it myself, but MY way. I'm not sure about other people, but I love poems that rhyme. Other poems, their okay (No, I'm not insulting anyone, it's just my preference) but they don't seem to have the same type of dazzle, the same type of power. My dad says it this way: Anyone can write a non-rhyming poem, but it takes someone special to make a really great rhyming poem. It's harder, and funner. My dad's a poet (Unofficially, of course, but he writes good stuff). So just keep that in mind. The riddle probably shouldn't be too short, and if it rhymes, I suggest you use a different scheme (Or what ever poets call that) than aabb or abab. Too common. If it's an old prophesy or riddle it should probably rhyme. Make it special, and don't worry. Use longer words and serious sounding synonyms if you can. Run it past a few people, if they think it's too cheesy, try again. If you like it the way it is, keep it. Mrs. Levine is good at writing pomes, she probably has some good advice. I don't know too much about writing all kinds of poems, but I write songs, which can be challenging, so I totally understand how hard it can be. Just do your best! I hope it comes out great.

    • Kenzi Anne says:

      Elsabet, your advice was fantastic!! Thanks so much, it really helped! I'm actually excited to write that part now–I'd been dreading and avoiding it before! And thanks for the suggestion, Mrs. Levine! Jenna, I love the Riddles in the Dark in the Hobbit, too. I was actually thinking about that when I was trying to make up my prophecy-thing! I might need to revisit my copy of The Hobbit 🙂 Thanks for everybody's advice!

  10. Jennaral Lee says:

    I just watched JACK THE GIANT SLAYER–reminded me all over again why I love Mrs. Levine's books so much! JACK was the worst reinterpretation of a fairytale I've ever seen, completely lacking in the engaging characters and clever and creative elements that are always in Mrs. Levine's books. The only redeeming part was Ewan McGregor, and even he couldn't save it. It was interesting as a writer though, because I found myself hoping through the whole thing that the good guys would just go ahead and win so the movie would end. Definitely not something I would ever want to do to my readers! Food for thought. 🙂
    By the way, Kenzi Anne, I love riddles too! This almost goes without saying, but "Riddles in the Dark" in THE HOBBIT would also be a good thing to look at.
    Jenna

    • Michelle Dyck says:

      That's funny — I just watched JACK THE GIANT SLAYER too! I found it fun, but not in a particularly memorable way… It was quite predictable, and if I had been expecting a new twist on the old fairytale, I would have been disappointed. As it was, I just sat down and watched it without much forethought, and ended up being entertained.

  11. Bug says:

    Mrs. Levine, I just read Writing Magic and I really enjoyed it. Now I've been slowly working my way the prompts….Anyway, I love your books!

  12. Bibliophile says:

    GUESS WHAT I JUST FOUND!!!!!

    I was seeing if Riordan had posted a free sample of 'House of Hades' on his site and came across a column entitled 'Writing Advice'. Most of it is here on the blog, but he has a character sheet!!!! The link is at the bottom of the comment. He also has links to agent sites and such, as well as a major focus on publishing advice. I know that Gail has a similar sheet in 'Writing Magic' but personally I like having a virtual copy just in case.

    http://www.rickriordan.com/about-rick/writingadvice.aspx

  13. Lucy says:

    I just read a very relevant piece of advice on this question in Strunk and White's The Elements of Style. It applies to dialects, but I think the same advice goes for speech impediments: "Do not use dialect unless your ear is good." [If anyone is interested in reading the rest of what they say, it can be found on pg. 78] In other words, one should probably not use dialect unless he is very familiar with the way it sounds (Of course, this probably only applies if you decide to always write out your character's dialogue with the speech impediment). Speech mannerisms may be one of those issues where we as writers need to "write what we know." In regards to unsocialized homeschooler's question, I think that this inner knowledge of your dialect will show in our writing, and if your "ear is good," your use of this speech impediment will be less likely to annoy your readers.

  14. Michelle says:

    Mrs. Levine, in Writing Magic, you said that in a story, you can't begin using subjects before you have introduced them. The example you gave was of a boy delivering a message on a foreign planet. He gets attacked by wulffs, and that's interesting, but the author hasn't mentioned wulffs until then. This is the problem I have. I have a complicated story, and it contains a lot of legends. There are three different trials that my character has to pass through, and each one requires a legend to explain it since it is so complex. How do I slip all of that information in before the trials come up while still being subtle?

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.