On September 28, 2012, GillyB wrote, What do you do when you have a dead scene on your hands? You know what’s meant to happen next. You even know what SHOULD happen in this scene. But it just isn’t moving. Your characters, which were alive like just a second ago, are suddenly wooden puppets. How do you rescue yourself? What if everything that follows is riding on this particular scene and it just needs to happen, for Pete’s sake?
Try this: Skip the scene. Assume the events in it have happened and write on from there. I got this idea from mystery writer Lawrence Block’s book about writing, Spider, Spin Me a Web. (I haven’t read this book in many years, so I don’t know what age level it’s appropriate for – check with a librarian. I remember the book fondly.) Mr. Block suggests that you’ve already written the scene in your head, so actually typing or penning it is too boring for your brain to accept. If this is true, you can go merrily on, finish your story and insert the scene in revision.
But if you skip the scene and your characters are still made of wood in the scene that follows, you may have a plot problem. You may be forcing your characters to act contrary to their natures as you’ve written them.
You can ask them. Interview your characters in notes. You can write, Cindy, what’s your problem? And Cindy may say, How could you make me be rude to Mr. Morris? I wouldn’t be! You know me!
In this case, you may need to go back and turn Cindy into someone who can be rude, if that will work for the rest of the story. If not, can you make events unfold so she doesn’t have to behave badly.
Or she may say, I just don’t believe we’d raid the tower when the guards are right there, and besides, even if we liberate the royal rabbit, we can’t keep her safe. It doesn’t make sense. If you make me do it, don’t expect me to be normal about it.
If that’s what she says, or something like it, consider what’s going on in the scene. Examine your premises, especially if this is a pivotal moment in your story. Is what you’re planning believable? Is it overly complicated? Can you simplify? Talk to a friend and ask for an opinion. Have her read what you’ve got and see what her take is.
It’s possible, too, that the scene is fine. Say your friend doesn’t see the woodenness, and neither does the next person you show it to. Could be you’re just picking on yourself. Keep writing, and assume you’ll be better able to judge the scene when you’ve been away from it for a while.
But if you discover that there really is a problem with the scene, you may have to rethink a lot of your story and you may be in for a big rewrite. This is disappointing, but also an opportunity. In realizing what’s wrong, in fixing it, in making your story better than ever, you’re learning to be a better writer.
Alas and hooray, I’ve had many such learning experiences.
Here’s another possibility: You’re rushing the scene and not giving your characters a chance to be their lovable and not-so-lovable selves. You have goals for what needs to be accomplished at this plot juncture, but you may be forgetting that your characters’ goals aren’t the same as yours. Make sure you’re including your POV character’s thoughts. If the situation allows for dialogue, are you giving your characters a chance to express themselves? In your notes you might try inhabiting each one in turn. Write down what it feels like to be Cindy on a moonless night, standing at the base of the tower. Is she cold? Did she forget to wear a scarf? Is her stomach churning? Is she worried about whether she’ll be up to the job? Mad at the leader of the raid for poor planning? What’s her idea of success? Maybe, right at this moment, she’s caring more about getting back to her cozy room than about the glory of saving the royal rabbit. Maybe she giggles at the thought of how much she likes rabbit stew.
Go on to the next character. How is it to be Peter here in this moment? And on to another character.
When you’re done, think about how they can be themselves and still accomplish what needs to happen. It’s possible that you have more than one scene on your hands and that, when you slow down, all will work and be exciting.
Yet another thought: Is your setting vague? Are your characters having trouble moving around in it? Is that what’s turning them to wood?
One more: Take a look at the scene before the wooden one. How is your transition? Is everything set up for what comes next?
To summarize, I’ve listed the alternatives I just suggested, some or all of which may apply to your story:
• Skip the scene and keep going.
• Ask your characters in an interview in notes what they think the problem is.
• Change a character, or more than one, so he can behave naturally in the scene.
• Examine your premises to see if what’s happening is believable.
• If necessary, revise your plot.
• Get a friend’s opinion.
• Accept the possibility that you’re being over-critical and keep writing.
• Expand the scene to give your characters more scope to be themselves, to think, speak, and act.
• Solidify your setting so your characters can move around comfortably.
• Check to see if the problem starts in the scene before the wooden one.
Here are three prompts:
∙ Pick an old story that you didn’t finish. Reread the scene where you gave up and try the approaches I suggest above. If you get re-inspired, finish your story.
∙ The assault on the tower to rescue the royal rabbit is your pivotal scene. Write up to it, assembling your company of brave bunny saviors. Write a scene in the tower where the rabbit is confined, because I’ve gotten very curious about her. Is she intelligent? Can she talk? Is she good? Or is she the villain? How big is she? Then write the assault and the ending, if you like.
∙ The pivotal scene in Little Red Riding Hood begins when Little Red opens the door to her grandmother’s cottage. Re-imagine it. Flesh out the characters of Little Red and Grandma and Big Bad. (You may have to write the beginning as well.) Write the pivotal scene and what follows. You’re not limited to the way it goes down in the fairy tale.
Have fun, and save what you write!
writeforfun says:
Thanks for the post. I think these tips might come in handy. My problem isn't that I have a dead scene, but simply that I've gotten bored with my story, unfortunately. I've only been working on it for a year and a few months, but it seems like it's been forever (although my last one, approximately the same length, took six months). I know what will happen and I've got some really cool scenes coming up – I've already written some of them – but I'm just bored of it. Sure it will be cool, but, dare I say it? I'm tired of my characters. I know what they're going to do and say and think. I'm tired of my setting – even though it's constantly changing as the characters travel. I'm bored of the whole mess that they're in and I know they'll come out fine, so I don't care any more. I wonder if I should just start a different story for a month to give myself a break. I'm not sure. Anyway, maybe I can try changing the plan a little and using your suggestions. Hopefully that will help.
gailcarsonlevine says:
Without becoming entirely different people, maybe you can let your characters surprise you a little, just as actual people we've known forever sometimes do.
writeforfun says:
Thanks – actually, that gives me an idea. I just realized that there's a particular character who has been begging me to let her break out of her shell. I can't believe I didn't realize it before!
writeforfun says:
Never mind – still stuck. Goodness, I hate writer's block!
Bibliophile says:
It is so funny that you happened to write a post on this. I just got to a very dead scene, in the beginning of the 1st revision of my first story. There is only character in the scene, and I'm still working on fleshing her out so this should be a bit of a challenge! I can't wait to tackle it using your suggestions!
carpelibris says:
It might help to give her another character to play off of.
Bibliophile says:
The way I have it set up you can't add another character without defeating the purpose of the scene, but I have it figured out now.
Athira Abraham says:
Wonderful post Gail! I had a question about fairytales although this post is not about them. I was interested in doing a retelling of Beauty and the Beast, but the idea of Belle being in the Beast's castle just with the Beast and invisible servants sort of sounds boring. I liked the idea of the enchanted household objects in the Disney movie, but I was not sure if I could use if because of any legal rights there might be. But do you think I can use the enchanted household objects? What are some boundaries on using this (if there are any boundaries)? So I guess my general question is can we use ideas from the Disney fairy tale movies for our novel retellings.
If this is not possible, I would also appreciate anybody's suggestions on what else I can turn the servants into (but not invisible servants!) I really liked the idea of household objects because they could still clean and cook and serve for their master.
Thank You
Kate says:
I think you could use the household objects as long as they didn't have the same names as the Disney ones. Maybe they could be animals that live in the castle? Like mice and bats and spiders and cats? To keep the Beast company?
gailcarsonlevine says:
I seem to remember invisible hands in at least one early telling of "Beauty and the Beast." I suggest reading an old adaptation, like the Lang version. If you're hoping for publication, I'd recommend staying away from anything recent, like Disney.
Athira Abraham says:
Thank You.
Kate- I like the idea of the animals so I might use them. Thanks!
Athira Abraham says:
What would be your outline when retelling a fairy tale?
gailcarsonlevine says:
The fairy tale itself is my outline, but I'm not much of an outliner.
Kate says:
So, I'm editing one of my unfinished stories so that it's fixed up in a way that I'll actually be able to FINALLY finish it. One of my scenes has come up and it doesn't have any changes to be made in it. Is this good? It's only about six to ten sentences long and has a major character turning point and development. (The MC wants something and his parents are against it. There's been foreshadowing that the parents won't like it, but the MC still badly wants to do it. And the "it" is exploring an almost completely unexplored continent, nothing explicit or anything. Just plain ol' adventure-y fantasy-ish character desire.)
gailcarsonlevine says:
It's hard to tell, but it sounds good!
GillyB says:
Thank you so much for answering my question! These are brilliant suggestions. I went back and poked around at the dead scene, and I think the problem stemmed from my not understanding the character's motives. Thanks to you, everything is much clearer! 🙂
Collapse says:
WOW I was having this problem all day! I had to write the most important scene in the book, and it was like pulling teeth. So I tried to interview the POV character…. and my other MC kept butting in and answering instead! Sure enough, when I tried writing the beginning of the scene from her point of view instead, it worked perfectly 🙂 Hooray!!
Collapse says:
On another note, a question for the blog (originally accidentally asked on an old post):
Gail, you write so many adaptations of fairy tales, and they're all so excellent – but how do you balance between the original story and your version of the story? In the adaptation I'm working on now, I have a story that I am very excited about, but I worry that it might be diverging too far from its original. For example, I once found a "modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice" that literally only kept the names and the idea that people fell in love, and it was extremely frustrating to me, because I had hoped for a clever interplay with the original, and instead I got a completely different story! I want to avoid that – but I also don't want to be a slave to the plot of the original.
Any advice?
Rosjin says:
In my opinion, a fairy-tale is different then a fully fleshed out novel. It has a lot less detail and therefore, a whole lot more room for creativity.
If I were told I am about to read a story based off of Cinderella, I'd expect to see a young woman in slavish conditions, a prince who falls in love with her, a ball of some sort, and a glass slipper that brings the two together. The step-family and the fairy-godmother are necessary for more traditional retelling, but in my opinion, a fairly faithful story could be told without them.
Of course, even with this I'd grant leeway. The roles could be gender-swapped, and I wouldn't complain. If the girl is an indebted servant, the prince a wealthy farmer's son, the ball a barn dance, and the glass slipper a friendly pig, it's still the same story.
Another thing to keep in mind is that when Mrs. Levine's book "The Two Princesses of Bamarre" started out as an adaption "The Tweleve Dancing Princesses" I would've never guessed that. If your story is completely different from the source, you could just present it as it's own story.
So! That's my two bits.
gailcarsonlevine says:
It's entirely up to you. My ELLA ENCHANTED sticks pretty closely to "Cinderella," but my mystery A TALE OF TWO CASTLES is only very loosely based on "Puss 'N' Boots." There's a miller's son, a cat, and an ogre, but beyond that, I mix it all up.
Caitlyn Hair says:
I think a good way to find balance is to read/watch a ton of fairy tale adaptations and see where you think the line is. It might help to focus on one fairy tale at a time so that the contrasts are obvious. Take Cinderella for example. You could watch "Ever After," (with Drew Barrymore) read "Ella Enchanted," and then read "Cinder" by Marissa Meyer. They're all Cinderella adaptations, but they're wildly different.
Athira Abraham says:
I really admire the way Gail Carson Levine's A Tale of Two Castles is much more different than the original Puss N Boots. The main character in the original is a miller's son where as the miller's son in this novel is a minor character. The story still works out with differences and is wonderfull to boot. The mystery makes it even better!
gailcarsonlevine says:
Athira Abraham–Thank you!
Elisa says:
I have a fairytale retelling on Snow White and it doesn't follow the original tale all that strictly. Ebony (Snow White) has escaped from her evil aunt (Or uncle, I'm still debating on that one.) who has killed off the rest of her family and is trying to kill her. Ebony had by accident picked up a magic mirror when she escaped her aunts fortress, and the mirror is like a genie, its gift is that it can tell the person who owns it anything, except how he himself could escape the mirror. While she is trying to disappear, Ebony meets up with Ralf, a thief, who agrees to take her to the hide-out of the dwarves, who have gone into hiding. It is very loosely based on the original tale, but I thought it up on accident. I don't really think you have to base it on the real tale strictly. When I do fairy-tale-retellings, I always throw it together in a way that people can recognize the original elements, but in a completely ME sort of way. You can decide what your unique way is. Just throw in a few of the ingredients, (Say, mirror + dwarves + red, white, and black, or servant + party + glass slipper.) and then add the rest yourself. I hope this helps.
Collapse says:
Wow, guys, thanks so much!! I feel much better now about my particular remix 🙂
Bibliophile says:
When is "Beloved Elodie" coming out?
gailcarsonlevine says:
Don't know yet. Sorry!
Athira Abraham says:
How different would writing a fairy tale novel be to writing a normal fantasy novel? (I just realized, the comments turned from dead ends, to fairy tales!)
And also, what would you like to see – or read- when reading a fairy tale retelling? (other comments would be very helpful here as they come from different everyday readers)
Michelle Dyck says:
I haven't read a lot of fairy tale retellings, but I think I would like to see some plot surprises. The original plots are so well-known that sticking to them could be boring. If you could work in something new, something that ties in cleverly with everything else, that would be fun to read.
Anyway, that's my two cents. 🙂
gailcarsonlevine says:
A fairy tale gives me a framework, so I don't have to make everything up. What I'd like to see is what I want from every other kind of novel: engaging characters, an exciting plot, and surprises.
writeforfun says:
In fairy tale retellings, I don't much care how close the new story sticks to the original. Well, I like it when it keeps the same general characters (Sleeping Beauty: A royal baby, good magical character, bad magical character, someone to end up breaking the curse), but I don't care whether it takes place in mideival Germany or in space, or whether the protagonist is a guy or a girl or whether the fairy godmother is a fairy or a rich aunt. My favorite thing in fairytale retellings is when the author just makes sense of everything. She really delves into the character and fleshes her out, whereas in the original, the MC is usually a wooden character who doesn't have much personality. I love it when the author adds details that make the whole thing make more sense – like in the twelve dancing princesses, why the king would kill every man who couldn't figure out where the princesses were going, or why the princesses wouldn't tell. I like it when the other characters have personalities and react to their situations, which are often strange in fairy tales. Like, after answering why the beast's servants were cursed, too, in Beauty and the Beast (which I never got – the beast was the "bad guy" – his servants were innocent!), make them all have personalities and make them react to their situation. I mean, if I were turned invisible, wouldn't I dream of becoming visible again and fantasize about what I actually looked like? Or if I were turned into household objects, what it would be like to have fingers again?
Ooops, this is going way too long! Sorry!
Elisa says:
Just about all I care about is that it is well written and that it is at least loosely based on the fairytale. I like to recognize a few of the characters at least, but my favorite types of books are the type that totally surprise me. I love the type of books where the ending is uncertain. You KNOW how it's going to end, but the rest of the story seems to contradict, and then it turns out all right in the end anyways. (Or not all right, as in tragedies.) Oh, and if you can make the story funny and sad at the same time, (Seriously, there is just about NO fairytale without a tragedy, mum dying, dad dying, princess pricking-her-finger-and-falling-asleep and so on. And there is nearly always a happy ending.) Just do your best. That's all can really tell you. I hope your story turns out really well.
Athira Abraham says:
Thanks everyone! I will take everyone's ideas into mind. And for my Beauty and the Beast retelling, I might turn the servants into animals, or I might just keep them humans because like writeforfun said, the servants didn't do anything, it was the beast who did the bad thing to be turned into a beast. I feel so much more confident about writing my story now!
writeforfun says:
carpelibris – didn't you say that another of your stories was going to be published on Daily Science fiction soon? Just wondering – I'd read it if I could find it!
carpelibris says:
Thanks for asking! "White as Snow, Red as Blood" went to subscribers last Wed, and will be in the public archive next Wed. (In other words, there's a new one every other Wed.)
writeforfun says:
Thanks – I'll look for it!
Mariel Doe says:
What about "almost" death scenes? How do you make them believable without seeming cliché? If there is already a post like this I am incredibly sorry DX
gailcarsonlevine says:
Can you explain a little more? What do you mean by an almost death scene?
Mariel Doe says:
Well basicly say the main charater gets badly hurt and almost dies with a death scene and everything, but it turns out he/she is perfectly fine in the end or another part of the story. That kind of thing. But it seems that everytime I write something like that, it seems very cliché, but most of my stories that I write include or will include in the future near/almost death scenes.
gailcarsonlevine says:
I haven't written an almost-death scene, I don't think. My guess, though, is that a lot will depend on the reader's feeling for the almost-dying character. If this is a beloved character, the reader will probably be delighted that he or she survives. Thoughts, anyone who's written something along these lines?
carpelibris says:
Sort of. I wrote a scene where the character DOES die, and everyone who loves him is mourning him. Meanwhile, he's having adventures in the afterlife, and then he comes back. On one hand, I love it. OTOH, I haven't managed to sell that book yet, so I don't know if it really works or not.
One thought: Consider how many people clap for Tinkerbell!