Tensing

First off, welliewalks’ comment last week about setting a goal to get something published before the next school year gave me an idea: how nice if you would post your publishing triumphs here so we can all bask in the reflected glory. Please do!

Now for the post. On October 20, 2011, Charlotte wrote, I’ve been thinking lately about tense, as in past or present. I’ve read some fantastic stuff in the present tense (read: THE HUNGER GAMES and other less fantastic things) and I’ve been wondering what everyone thinks about which tense a story should be written in, and how to decide.
    I reckon it depends on the needs of your tale, like POV does, but I’m interested to hear other people’s thoughts, especially on choosing which to use….

Going quickly through my bookshelf I notice that young adult novels in a contemporary setting are more often written in present tense than books for younger children, which seem generally to be in the past tense. This isn’t a scientific survey, just my impression. Not sure why this may be. Maybe present tense seems more immediate and real, less storybook-like. I haven’t done any sort of survey of novels for adults, so I don’t know.

Historical novels on my bookshelf are written in the past tense, except for my historical fantasy, Ever. I chose present because the survival of Kezi, one of my POV characters, is in doubt, and I felt that past tense would suggest to readers that she’s okay at the end. I used present tense for a short story, too, in that case because my main character has a decision to make, and I felt that past tense would suggest one choice or another. I wanted the reader right there with her as she chooses. Aside from those two instances, however, I’ve stuck with past tense. I don’t think Ella Enchanted or most of my fantasies would have succeeded in present tense.

Susan Cooper’s novel Victory alternates between a modern narrator and a nineteenth century one. The current-day chapters are written in the present tense, the historical ones in the past tense. I suppose they both could have been in one or the other, but this way works beautifully – and it’s a terrific book.

So, yes, the decision depends on the needs of your story. You can ask yourself if you want to create a storybook atmosphere or if you want the grittier reality of present tense. You can also see if you gravitate one way or the other and then decide whether you want to go with your own flow or if you want to write against it.

I suppose I have a bias, which you may or may not agree with. Sometimes you won’t have a strong reason to choose one tense over another. In those cases I’m prejudiced in favor of past tense, which I think is more flexible. You can achieve a noir reality using the past tense, as in, Mickey spat cigar juice into the gutter and muttered, “You do that again, I’ll knot your legs into a pretzel.” But it’s harder to get that timeless aura in, say a medieval fantasy, as in, Sir Grathnath turns to his liege lord and says, “I pledge my allegiance until the firmaments ripple and the seas grow trees.” Then he dons his armor and buckles on his trusty sword. Doesn’t sound right.

When I say I have a bias I mean as a writer, not as a reader. As a reader I’m fine with either tense. If I like the story, I’m just happy. As a writer, though, present tense seems like more of a DECISION. Past tense seems more like, for good or ill, choosing the common path.

Flashbacks are a little different in the different tenses. If you’re writing in present tense, you just have to switch to simple past. If you’re already in past tense you need past perfect, with the auxiliary verb had, as in, Nancy had seen this blue-headed boy before. It had been during school break in the fall when she and her father had gone to the shore for one of their long rambles. They picked up knobby skipping tortoise shells and smooth driftwood. Notice that after the first two hads I revert to simple past tense. That’s what all the writing books I’ve read tell me to do. Then, at the end of the flashback, you bring in the hads again once or twice to bracket the anecdote. The reason not to use them constantly is that all those hads draw attention to themselves and are an obstacle to the reader’s complete entry into the flashback. This little bit of complexity isn’t enough of a reason, in my opinion, to write in the present tense.

I’ve never read anything in the future tense. Has anyone out there?

Future tense, now that I’m thinking about it, lends an air of inevitability, as in, Cinderella will step into her pumpkin coach and set out for the first ball. She will smooth her satin skirts and stare at the grand houses scrolling by. Hmm.

I just called my editor to ask if she has a bias (I didn’t tell her mine). She doesn’t. She said the tense just needs to serve the story. I asked what kind of story is best served by which tense, and she thought that mystery and suspense stories sometimes benefit from present tense, allowing the reader to get inside the action. She also opined that present tense can be harder to pull off. She felt that flashbacks can be harder in present tense, the shift from present to past more jarring. She added that some authors try one, find it isn’t working, and shift to the other.

I called my agent, who had no preference either at first, then, after thinking a minute, said she might like present tense better. Then she became unsure again. Then we segued into great first lines, like, “Call me Ishmael,” the beginning of Moby Dick (which, I confess, I’ve never read), a present-tense, powerful start to a book written mostly in the past tense. So you can change it up even if you’re writing in the past tense.

When I read student work I sometimes see tense drift. The story is steaming along in past tense when it suddenly shifts to present and then veers back. This isn’t a big deal, just another thing to mop up in revision. When the story is finished, of course we want it to be consistent.

Here are three prompts:

∙    Rewrite the beginning few pages of one of your stories in the other tense, past if you’re using present, present if you’re using past. How do you feel about it? Which do you like better?

∙    Use my sentences above as a story starter. Change tenses if you like. Here they are again: Nancy had seen this blue-headed boy before. It had been during school break in the fall when she and her father had gone to the shore for one of their long rambles. They picked up knobby skipping tortoise shells and smooth driftwood.

∙    Try writing a story in future tense. I suspect you need either a very tragic ending or a very happy one for this, no bitter-sweet or you may get a let down. A sad Greek myth might work well, like the story of Oedipus.

Have fun, and save what you write!

42 Responses on “Tensing”

  1. Q says:

    I haven't read anything in future tense that I can remember, though a short story in Mary McCarthy's The Company She Keeps (definitely for adults) had that kind of feeling. I'm not sure it would work for anything longer than a short story, at least not in English––I would get annoyed reading it, because English future tense is not very elegant.

    Oh! I just remembered. I did read something in Spanish once which was in second person present/future tense (mostly present: Aura, by Carlos Fuentes, also definitely for adults). It was a very strange little novel, but I think it worked in Spanish in a way that never would have worked in English, because Spanish verb conjugations are different.

  2. Molly says:

    Gail, random question:
    My writing style revolves around characters. I'll have a character that I love, and I'll build a plot around their strengths and weaknesses. In the story I'm currently working on, I'm going deeper emotionally than I have before. It's also the longest story I've ever attempted. Everything is coming together in my head just fine, except for one thing: my villain.
    I have a vague idea of my villain's demeanor, his temperament, but I'm stumped as to his motivations and goals. Obviously, this puts a major hole in my plot plans. Any advice for me?

  7. Åriel J says:

    Good post. I tend to be biased toward present because it makes me feel like I AM the character. However, I honestly don't think present works if it's not in first person. It seems awkward and strange.

  8. Charlotte says:

    Thanks for answering my question! I think I'm going to stick with present tense in the story I'm working on: it's fantasy, but not the traditional knights-in-armour and fairy tales kind of thing. It's very suspense-driven (or at least I like to think so!) and so I think using the past tense in this case would just slow it down.

    I've noticed in a bunch of the English books I've read this term that both tenses are used in a lot of adult literature for a particular effect. Like in my Canadian Literature class (which I should be studying for right now…) we read Michael Ondaatje's In the Skin of a Lion (probably high school and up–went way over my head anyway and I'm in university) and it keeps switching back and forth between past and present, and I haven't really figured out why. And there was this poem that I read called The Disappointment by Aphra Behn (DEFINITELY at least high school, preferrably even older. It's basically about sex.), and it switched back and forth to show how girls at that time weren't supposed to have desire in the same way that guys did, so in the present tense bits it seems like she wants the boy, and in the past tense she's pushing him away–like someone had to go back and add it in later.

    Also, I'll be done school next week and don't start my summer job until June, so I figure I'm going to try and finally finish my magnum opus (okay, not really, but it's been sitting in my brain for six years) and actually send it off to agents and stuff (!!!!!!). Wish me luck!

  10. Chloral Florderoy says:

    Gail, I was wondering: What kind of a relationship should a writer have with her characters? An author told me once that there comes a point in the writing process when the characters start talking to you. I mean, you know what they would do/say in a situation because you've spent a long time with them and you feel as though you know them. Does this mean that it's hard when it comes time to write their deaths? How have you dealt with making bad things happen to your characters, or is it fun for you?

    • Charlotte says:

      I have a very close relationship with my characters, but that's only because I think about them ALL THE TIME. Sometimes it can be helpful to decide what they would do/say in a situation when you don't already know–it's a great way of developing them.
      I've never written the death of one of my super-main characters, but I have had them go through major hardships. Sometimes it's painful, but I think more often it's just satisfying–I like watching the way they react. I read somewhere that it's dangerous to start over-sentimentalizing your characters and viewing them as your friends or children–it makes it hard to see your story clearly enough. It's okay to like your characters (things get kind of hard if you hate them), but it's better to view them as tools to making the best story you can, even if you have to put them through suffering.
      (Gail had an awesome chapter on this in Writing Magic. It's the one called Suffer!)

    • Chloral Florderoy says:

      Thanks for the reply, Charlotte. I guess I've never thought of my characters as tools to move the story along, but that's a good way to put it. If the story was all about making your characters happy, it would be pretty boring.

  13. writeforfun says:

    Wow, believe it or not, I’ve never actually read any fiction in the present tense, that I can think of – except for short parts where the character is saying to himself, “you will do this!” Hey, that’s funny – that’s second person, too! Anyway, I’ll have to find something written in present now and develop an opinion on it.

    As far as publishing triumphs go, you won’t be hearing anything from me. I’m too afraid to send my book out – into the cruel world – into the clutches of evil critics and AMAZON reviewers – and claim it as my own! Yeah, I’m chicken. Maybe someday I’ll get enough of a spine to try to get published. Actually, that reminds me of a poem by Anne Bradstreet called “The Author to Her Book.” If you haven’t read it, you should look it up. I totally know how she feels!

    Chloral Florderoy – I don’t know whether it’s a good thing or not, but my characters sure do talk to me! Sometimes I catch myself thinking, “I wish my character were here; he’d know what to do,” only to catch myself and realize again that he doesn’t actually EXIST! I love my characters so much that, once I finished my last book, I gave in and started a sequel because I just can’t stand being separated from them. I know, that’s pretty weird, but I guess that’s just me.

  14. Lark says:

    I had been wondering about this too, Gail! It's funny, but I don't notice the tense until I'm like halfway through the book. I was reading The Running Dream by Wendelin van Draanen and my brother read over my shoulder and said, "Oh, it's one of those present-tense books." It was really funny because I hadn't noticed it at all!! 🙂 I guess that's good, though, that it flows so seamlessly.
    I've been noticing how the flashbacks in Percy Jackson and the Olympians use "had" twice then switch to simple past more and more.
    @Chloral Florderoy– a character questionnaire really helps with this. I love sitting down with my characters… sometimes they're really cliched, but most of the time they're nice, and decide to be original after I serve them some lemonade and cookies. (If they don't eat the cookies, more for me.) @writeforfun, that's hilarious, and how I feel sometimes!
    This is a question for everyone…
    Have you ever written/read a book that never tells you the hero/heroine's name? I just wrote a whole first chapter of my novel and realized that I hadn't said my heroine's name ONCE. It's supposed to by Amanda, but I realized that it cold work just as well without actually saying her name and I was tempted to write the whole novel like that! How do you think that would turn out?
    Gail, I just wanted to let you know how much I like your blog! Every Wednesday when I check to see if you've written a new post, I save it so that I can really enjoy it. Thanks! 🙂

    • Agnes says:

      Yes I have read a book written in 1st pov called After Tupac and D Foster (middle school and up)which the narater never says her name. It was interesting to read to say the least, it worked though because almost all the characters in the book were sort of mysterious. I think it would depend on the book for instance for a romance it would be awkward for julies boyfriend bob not to call her by "you" all the time.

    • Charlotte says:

      Was the first chapter you wrote in first person? Because if so I don't think that you have to use their name that much, especially if it'll come up more later on. But I think a third person story without using the main person's name is more trouble than it's worth–you're stuck using she, she, she all the time, or trying to figure out something else to replace it like "the woman" and "the short nun" and "the victim"…
      Personally, I'm really not a fan of the characters not having names–it just makes it hard to talk about them later. Plus I think naming your characters is half the fun! But that's just me…

  15. April says:

    Gail, I haven't been around for a few weeks but I've just caught back up. I have a question about an older post of yours but I didn't think you'd see it in the comments there, so I'll post it here.

    You said, "Yes, most of my other books end unambiguously happily, although there’s some bitter-sweet at the end of Ever. It’s funny; not everyone thinks the Two Princesses ending is sad. But some agree with you. I received a letter from a girl who had nightmares for months after reading it and wanted me to rewrite the book or write a sequel that fixed the ending."

    What was your reaction to that letter/what she said (amusement, horror, concern, eye-rolling, etc.)? Did you respond to her? In general, what do you do with letters you receive? (Read and then toss, read and file, read and respond, don't read some of them… etc.?)

    Also, I presume people write to the publisher, who then forward the letters on to you. How often do you receive a batch? How many letters do you typically receive in each batch?

    What are some of your most memorable letters, both good and bad? From fans, critics, or editors/agents?

    I'm quite curious about your mail. 🙂

    • April says:

      Oh, and as for "publishing triumphs," I haven't had any recently. But I've just been made production editor for a small magazine, which is gratifying—especially since I expected to be "out of the loop" for a while now that I have an 8-months-old baby. 🙂

  16. carpelibris says:

    Re: being mean to your characters: I once wrote a scene where the main character gets horsewhipped. It was HARD to write. I stopped halfway through, sobbing, and said "I can't do this." My husband said "Honey, he's fictional," and I wailed "But he's my BABY!"

    I eventually did finish it, by cranking up some music really loud. I showed the scene to a writer friend afterward. She got quiet and thin-lipped, and said "I really hope the villain gets what's coming to him." So I guess the scene worked.
    That same book had two deaths in it. They were so hard to do that I skipped over one and came back 3 or 4 months later.

    It'd really love to take Gail up on her offer to talk about our publications, because I've had some recent ones that I'm really happy about, but I feel funny about it, so I'll compromise and say they're on my web page if you click on my name. (I don't always know what's YA and what isn't. I very seldom write sex or graphic violence, so I think my stuff's PG-13 at most, but it may be in with more "adult" stuff, or imply it. Some that I know are "Family friendly": "Electric Company," "Tag, You're It," "And A Bottle of Rum.")

  17. carpelibris says:

    Actually, "Tag" does have some violence in it. Not much, and I suspect I'm being overly cautious, (we see a prisoner with bruises) but I should've suggested "Inside Things" instead. Um, anyone know how to edit a post?

    • Agnes says:

      It is so annoying you can't edit a comment, you can delete it and start over or write what was wrong with the first comment in a separate one. Also it shows when you delete your comment wich is annoying.

  18. carpelibris says:

    "Reply" doesn't work for me either. I had to exit, come back, and make a new comment.

    I'm not going to delete the post, because I reread "Tag," and there are fairy tales with more violence in them than that. I'm probably being a prude, as usual. 😉

    (I once set a book to an agent. I assumed it was Adult because it had an implied sex scene in it. The agent wrote back "This is well written, but I don't take YA," and I thought "It's YA? Really? Whaddaya know.")

  19. gailcarsonlevine says:

    April–Congratulations on the job!

    The letter about TWO PRINCESSES obviously made an impression, and I did write to the girl, giving my reasons for the ending. I never heard back, so I don't know how she received my explanations.

    I don't get much fan mail. Every six months or so I get a packet from HarperCollins of maybe thirty letters – I've never counted. Occasionally someone writes to me at home. I read it all but I'm not very reliable about writing back, but I don't throw the letters away. Over the years a small mountain has grown in the basement. The blog and my website guestbook are better ways to reach me.

    carpelibris–Congratulations! I read and enjoyed "Electric Company." I figured out who you are on your website, but it wasn't easy. Maybe you'd like to 'fess up for others who are interested.

  20. carpelibris says:

    Oh wow, thank you, Gail!

    Oops, yes, I'm Melissa Mead on there. Carpe Libris is the name of my writers group. I posted under my real name originally, but Blogger started saying it couldn't verify my ID for some reason.

    I tried to congratulate April before, but the post didn't take, so I'll try again: Congratulations, April!

  23. welliewalks says:

    wow, i can't believe I inspired Gail Carson Levine! 🙂
    sorry I've been MIA lately. 😛
    I've been on a deadline- I'm almost done with my novel that I have to revise and everything in a very short period! I'll read comments later. 🙂

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