On March 27, 2011, welliewalks wrote, I have two MCs in my story and I switch off writing them- they each get their own chapters. They’ve never seen each other before, but in the book, their lives are entwined and they end up meeting each other (kinda early on). They are very different- one doesn’t trust anyone but is close to her family (and trusts them). The other is hurt (emotionally) and feels betrayed by one family member. I’m having trouble making them have their own voices. Any suggestions?
Then Jenna Royal wrote, @Welliewalks – If you’ve ever read The Red Pyramid by Rick Riordan, that is a really good example of different voices. I’ve never attempted to write a story with multiple characters in first person POV, but I would think that it might help to give each character a distinct way of reacting to certain situations, or maybe a list of words that each character uses frequently. By making your characters recognizable, you make the voices more obvious. Also, maybe setting characteristics such as a squeaky door or a cold climate, or a view or sudden storms would help. If you can give traits that will show through in the narration, it will lend itself to a more distinct voice.
These are great ideas. I haven’t read The Red Pyramid, but I did use the Search-Inside-This-Book feature on Amazon to get an impression. I’m sure there’s more to it, but I noticed that the sentences were shorter and more direct in the Carter chapters I looked at, while his sister seemed to use more modifiers and more dependent clauses.
For all of you who are writing from multiple narrators or who might like to, for the next week listen to the conversation around you. (This is a always good practice for writers.) You may notice that your best friend has trouble staying on topic. One thing reminds him of another, and soon he’s forgotten what he started with. Your other close friend keeps tugging him back. A third pal tires of any subject quickly. And you, writer that you are, find yourself suggesting ways to improve the telling. Each of you would be different narrators on the page.
Here’s a prompt early in the post: Pick a day during your week of listening, a day you haven’t spent alone. Write this day in the persona of each of the people you were with, a page or so for each person, up to, say, five narrators. You are likely to find that it’s harder with some, easier with others. For one or two it may be agony to squeeze out a page and for others you can hardly stop writing. Your cousin Ida may baffle you. You never know where she’s coming from, so how can you write her take on the day? That’s where being a fiction writer comes in. If Ida gives you little to go on, imagine the possibilities. Speculate about what might have happened to her before you got together. Was she awake half the night? Did she win a tennis match the day before? She may be very private, so you have to invent her opinions. Make her adore someone and have only contempt for someone else. Give her a sore knee that saps her attention. Have her mentally working on a homework assignment.
When you’re finished, revise until each telling is distinctive. Remember Jenna Royal’s suggestions. Here are some more: Along the lines of word choice, main character Jayne may be more educated than main character Jerry. Her vocabulary may be studded with fifty-dollar words; his may be monosyllabic. Try what Rick Riordan seems to do, too – vary the sentence structure from one character to the other. You can change the emotional tone as well. Jerry worries constantly, so his chapters are full of dire predictions and better-than-expected outcomes. Jayne analyzes everyone; her chapters teem with insight, right or wrong. Thought process is involved here. Jerry is intuitive. He doesn’t reason carefully but jumps from A to M without stopping at each letter in between, and his thoughts on the page reveal his process. Jayne plods in her thinking. She gets from A to M but she lingers at each letter; she may even pause at C-and-a-half before moving on to D.
Character traits come into it, too. Jerry is quick to anger, and his narration will reflect that. Jayne buries her rage; her narration may show the effort this causes her. She makes excuses for people, while Jerry won’t give anyone a break.
So far we have vocabulary, sentence structure, emotional tone, thought process, and character. Situation is essential also. The two main characters won’t always be together. If Jerry is in a desert and Jayne in a castle, the reader will have no trouble distinguishing them, as Jenna Royal suggested.
Two narrators are, naturally, two voices. My chapter on voice in Writing Magic may be helpful as well as my post on the subject on September 8th, 2010. The prompt at the end of the Writing Magic chapter and the suggestions above may seem mechanical, but much of writing is mechanical. Inspiration pours in, and we write in a mad burst. Then we go back to deal with the mechanics, which we can call by the more elevated name of technique.
Having said all this, I have to ask if two narrators are necessary. Writing is so hard that there’s no disgrace in making the job easier when we can. An omniscient third-person point of view might succeed here, or a limited third person that shifts from Jerry to Jayne might too. By using third person you can show how each character views events, but you don’t have to invent a voice for each except in dialogue, when you will certainly want them to sound different. I use two narrators in my Mesopotamian fantasy, Ever, because I couldn’t seem to tell the story any other way, and I tried. If this is the case for you or even if you’re just experimenting, go for it, but if the split narration isn’t working, remember that there are other options.
Welliewalks, your two main characters both seem to have been hurt, one by people outside the family and the other from within. You may be having trouble because of the similarity. I know this is a fundamental change (the kind I often find myself making 250 pages into a novel), but might you lift the burden from one of them and make him or her quirky in some other way? If you try this, you may find that they will write themselves, always a writer’s dream.
There’s a prompt near the beginning of the post, and here’s another:
Jerry and Jayne are classmates separated by disaster, political or meteorological or geological, whatever. Jerry is trying to find Jayne, and Jayne is trying not to be found. You decide if they have cell phones or if this isn’t a high-tech world. Write a single chapter from the POV of each. Keep going if you like.
Have fun, and save what you write!
Molten says:
Thanks, as always, for your thoughtful posts!
Another difference between the two narrators of The Red Pyramid is that Carter is American and Sadie is British. If I remember correctly, Sadie uses Britishisms like "pensioner" and "crisps," and Carter's vocabulary might seem distinctively American to some readers.
yaviiniia says:
Gordon Korman does this in some of his later books (No More Dead Dogs and The Chicken Doesn't Skate, for example) for great comedic effect. I've never tried it, but maybe I should.
Eeshie says:
Y-you have…a…blog? Gail Carson Levine has a blog?
*squeals in excitement*
YAY! YAYYY! YAYYYYYYYYYYY!
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my GOD! I'm leaving a comment on the blog of one of my favorite authors. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm freaking out.
…
YAYY!!!!!
…
All right, I'm calm.
You know what's a coincidence? Just last night, I was rereading Ever for the fiftieth time. And now here I am. On your blog. Leaving a comment.
…
I'll try to contain myself.
This post was really helpful. I read the whole thing three or four times. Only because I've been Levine-starved. At this point, my admiration of you and your books is so great that I'll read anything you've written passionately – whether it's a blog post or your grocery list.
Your blog is neat. And awesome. And cool.
Bye!
gailcarsonlevine says:
Eeshie and Molten–Thanks!
welcomingtherain says:
Something I’ve done when switching between two first person POV would be to switch fonts. For example: Marley’s chapters might be in the Times New Roman font while Jane’s are in Ariel. Obviously its still a good idea to try and make the voices distinct, but changing fonts for each narrator might help remind the reader who is speaking as well.
Rina says:
I have a question regarding first-person narrators. In one story I'm writing, I worry about how I can possibly get my narrator to observe everything important to the plot. She's not the most useful or important person. Should I use another narrator, change to third person, or just try to have her hanging around whenever something important happens?
gailcarsonlevine says:
Rina–This is often an issue with a first-person POV. I'm adding your question to my list.
Jenna Royal says:
In the Red Pyramid, the two narrators had very different personalities. Sadie was rebellious and fashion-conscious, where as Carter was calmer ad more easygoing. And even though they were siblings, they'd grown up separately, which gave them totally different experiences and backgrounds. Their voices were easily distinguishable. In a series of books I'm working on, there are three MCs in each book. The whole thing is in third person, but I still try to give each character their own distinct voice and feeling.
@welcomingtherain – I read a book recently that was told in two different time periods, with two different POVs and two different fonts, which I found helped the reader keep track of events.
@Ms. Levine – a quick thank you for all these blog posts you've written. I was just thinking about how much all this advice has helped my writing. Even when I'm not consciously thinking about it, it's still in the back of my mind, asking 'are you balancing your dialogue with movements and thoughts?' and 'is your character's voice consistent?' and all kinds of other questions. Thank you so much for writing them – I hope you will write many more! 🙂
Mya says:
Ahhh, exams are over!!! I'm devouring these posts like a starved chicken, I should slow down to absorb the info. I remmeber a similar post to this about having two POVs, or perhaps it was a passage in a post. Either way, it s nice to have some further discussion on this subject.:)
I love having multiple POVs.=D Its, quite surprisingly, one of my stronger points in writing. I think the difficulty is mainly for the reader, who has to transact from one character's mindset to another's. The books that manage this well turn out to be pretty brilliant. I deifinitely enjoyed reading Kezi and Olus' chapters in Ever.=D
I'm most certainly trying out the listening exercise. School's just buzzing with all those voices, it seems the perfect place to try it out!
On a rather unrelated note, that's a pretty new cover for Ella Enchanted.=) My favourite's the usual, but I suppose this would appeal to much younger audiences.=)
@Eshie: Hello! Lol,your reaction on finding this blog was exactly how I felt, so I couldn't help replying.=D Anyway, nice to see a new commentor!=)
gailcarsonlevine says:
Jenna Royal–I'm very glad. Thanks for letting me know!
Caitlin Flowers says:
I have a question. I'm almost finished with one of my stories, and I've reread it numerous times. Something just feels wrong. The beginning is fairly good, but I feel like the longer it goes on, the worse it gets. Help!
gailcarsonlevine says:
Caitlin–Can you be more specific?
Caitlin Flowers says:
Well, the beginning is exciting. The action feels real, the characters are great, but as it goes on, the plot begins to drag and everything feels forced. I feel like I'm overstressing everything. The dialogue and action don't really flow. It just starts to get…boring. I'm not sure if it's just because I've read it so many times, or what.
Clare says:
*FRANTIC SCREAM* I did NOT know you had a blog! I'm in heaven! Lol 🙂
gailcarsonlevine says:
Caitlin Flowers–You may be able to see how to fix your story if you put it aside for a month or so while you write something else.
Caitlin Flowers says:
That's what I think I'm going to have to do. I really need to set it aside until I can look at it through fresh eyes…thank you so much for always have the perfect solution!